There's No Place Like Dauntless
by PrincessMorgan
Summary: **Warning: Allegiant Spoilers - Post Allegiant (Tris, Uriah & Tori are all alive) Set 10 months after Tris enters the weapons lab in Allegiant. After leaving Tris for 10 months, Tobias retuns to Dauntless to turn Tris' life and recovery upside down. Rated T for the time being, rating may change in future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Divergent Series is owned by Veronica Roth as do the few quotes that I've used in context from the Series in this story. All Veronica Roth's work.

**Warning: Allegiant Spoilers

AN: This story kicks off 10 months after Tris released the memory serum at the Bureau. Uriah wakes from his coma a few weeks after Tris is shot in the weapons lab. Unlike _'some'_ authors, I've chosen to keep the main character ALIVE for my story.

This story will be written from both Tris and Tobias' POV. Most of the outline for this story is already done and I have a few chapters already pre-written which I will be uploading over the next week. As always reviews are always welcomed.

Chapter 1

 _(Tris)_

I don't know how long I've been asleep, an hour, maybe two before the nightmares start tonight. Honestly I have no idea how Uriah and Christina can sleep through my screaming and thrashing. Practice I guess. I smile at the thought of how much of surrogate brothers Uriah and Zeke have become and I'm just as protective of them as they are of me, something my own brother could never be.

Caleb.

It's been months since I've last heard from Caleb. He fled the Bureau as soon as the memory serum was released leaving me fighting for my life in a hospital bed for 3 months. I still don't feel sad that he's gone. I guess he left my life before the war even started, the day he chose Erudite.

I sigh; this train of thought only ever leads down one path, directly to my broken heart and directly to Tobias.

I scoot over to the side of my bed and turn on the bedside lamp. The soft glow is still bright enough for me to have to blink a few times to readjust my eyes. I slide the top draw of my bedside table open and move the three books and papers to get to what I'm looking for. A wrinkled piece of white paper, complete with torn edges. Even though I know what it says, I take a deep breath to calm myself before reading it for the hundredth time.

 _Tris,_

 _You deserve better, you deserve more.._

 _You're safer without me Tris._

 _IV_

These were his final words to me while I spent eight weeks in an induced coma, recovering from the bullet wounds I received from David while setting off the memory serum. No one seems to know why he left, or even when he went, and if they do they don't tell me. Best to move on they all said. But how do you move on from the only person you know you will ever love? I blink away a tear and put the note back under the books and papers. I switched the light off again and snuggled back down into bed. I doubt I'll be getting anymore sleep tonight.

I must have dozed off again at some point because I wake to my morning alarm blaring into my ears. 5:45am is a crazy time to be up, but if I want to get my morning run in, I can't be late.

I roll myself out of bed and proceed to the bathroom to clean my teeth. I count down the seconds until the familiar banging on my bedroom door starts. It's become some what of a routine between me and Zeke. He always accompanies me on my morning run. I mumble a "come in" and Zeke let's himself into my room. As always he starts to jog on the spot like he's just come off a rollercoaster or something. I have no idea how he manages to be so perky this time of the morning. I grunt in annoyance and kick the bathroom door shut with my foot. Once my teeth are done, I change into my running gear and grab my shoes before joining Zeke in my room.

"Come on grasshopper, time is a wasting"

I yawn into my sock "You know I hate you right?

"Nah, you love me, now get your ass moving, I promised Shauna I'd be at breakfast."

We take our usual route around the Dauntless compound. It's a great run, lots of hills, and debris to dodge. We stay far away from the Abnegation and Erudite sectors. There are just too many bad memories attached to those areas.

After I was released from the hospital and we all came home, back here to Dauntless, Zeke took up the lead on my physical therapy. Training me back to my old self, even improving on where I was when my Dauntless initiation ended. He was always patient with me, but knew when to push me too. I wonder sometimes if it's out of loyalty to Tobias that he does, not that I really care. I'm just happy to have him in my life.

We rounded the last corner of our route and spotted Christina, Uriah and Edward waiting for us, each stretching their muscles. Thursdays were always a group training day. We worked through our combat techniques, agility training and of course, the fast track. Zeke would time each of us around the running track and add that to our total scores for the day. The two top members got to hit it out in the ring. The past 6 weeks straight it had been me and Edward at the top, with Edward losing to me each week. I had a sneaking suspicion he was taking it easy on me.

I ducked a few of Edwards punches before going in for his throat. A move Tobias had taught me when I was a Dauntless initiate. I still used it and the rest of the techniques he taught me, even though every time I did, I thought about him.

Edward seemed to be off his game today; his movements were sluggish and delayed. I easily tripped him up and pinned him to the mat.

"You concede or do I have to knock your lights out?" I joked.

Edward snorted and chuckled at me "I concede, I concede". I smiled back and rolled off him. I hadn't expected Edward and me to be friends when we first returned. I know his time with the factionless had changed him, but being back at Dauntless he had thrived and began to return to the boy I had met on my first day here. There was nothing romantic about our relationship, we were strictly friends, however I knew Edward would like to change that. I'm just not ready to even entertain the idea.

Zeke grinned widely at me as I exited the ring; he was busily punching things on his tablet, before I realized my name was sitting in the 1st spot on the leader board. I smiled; maybe, just maybe I could go back, back to the Tris I was before the war, before my friends and parents were killed, back before I was used as a lab rat. I looked down at my shoes, no, that could never happen, Tobias isn't here. I could never go back without him.

I opened the door to the apartment I shared with Uriah and Christina and headed towards my room for a well deserved hot shower. I had unofficially moved in with Uriah and Christina a few weeks after our return to Chicago. I had a very spacious apartment up in the Pier where Tori and Bud, the other Dauntless leaders lived, however I was yet to spend a night there.

I had barely taken a few steps down the hallway when I heard voices coming from the kitchen. Sounded like Zeke and Uriah were deep in conversation, then I heard a high pitched voice which definitely belonged to my best friend, Christina. I headed toward the kitchen only to overhear Christina say, "Someone has to tell her!"

I sighed. They did this a lot.

"Tell me what?" I asked while I barged into the kitchen. Zeke visibly cringed when he saw me enter. I glared at each of the faces of my friends around the kitchen table awaiting a response. Uriah was the first to move.

"Well I got work, so I'm out." He practically ran out of the kitchen.

"I've got stuff too, bye!" Christina mumbled and ducked under Zeke's arm which was resting on the back of her chair in what seemed to be a feeble attempt at getting her to stay.

I arched an eyebrow at Zeke, he just sighed.

"Tris, sit down." It was more a command than a request. I took a seat across from him at the table.

"Okay, who died?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit. It didn't work.

"I got a letter from Four." All of a sudden I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. My mouth dropped open and I just gaped at Zeke.

"He wants to come home but…" he trailed off, looking at me.

"But what?" My voice was barely audible.

Zeke sighed again. "He wants to know if you'd be okay with that. He said if it's too much for you, he'll resettle elsewhere." Zeke looked like he could take flight at any moment. Clearly he was on edge about my response to the whole situation.

We sat there for a long moment before I finally had something to say.

"He didn't say anything else? Where he was? Why he left?" Zeke shook his head. I shut my eyes for a few moments. "This is his home too, just because we aren't together doesn't mean we can't live in the same place." I said looking directly back at Zeke.

Zeke relaxed back into the chair. "Tris" he started.

"Look I'm not saying I ever want or need to speak with him, and if I see him in the compound I'm not going to throw knives at his head. But this is his home too."

"Are you really sure about this?"

I exhaled the breath of air I hadn't realized I was holding. Was I sure? Could I manage to see him here, living life without me? Could I stand to see him move on, with other girls, settle down, without me? No. I couldn't stand any of that, but I couldn't stand not having him near me again either.

"Yes, I'm sure"

"Okay" Zeke smiled and headed towards to fridge, cracking a beer and sculling it.

The rest of the week passed in a blur. I got up, I ran, I trained, I worked, I hardly slept, hardly ate, the usual. I tried my best to keep my thoughts from drifting to Tobias, but if I was being really honest with myself he plagued every thought I had. It was Sunday night that the thoughts really started to get to me. I was lying in bed listening to Uriah's snores from down the hall when I found myself pulling on my hoodie and my feet taking me the familiar route towards the apartments on the south west of the compound. I stood in front of the door and tested the lock, locked. Of course it was locked. I had asked Zeke to ensure it was kept closed off to anyone, in the vain hope he would one day return. The sole key was kept just under a pile of nearby rocks. The key was covered in a light film of dust; I placed it into the lock and took a deep breath. The door opened with a familiar creak, and I slipped inside.

My hand slid down the right side of the door along the wall searching out the light switches. Everything in the room was the same as I remembered, except the large red stain on the matt at the foot of the bed. Blood. My blood. Seeing it again churned my empty stomach. I barely remember the last time I stood in this room, but that stain was proof that it wasn't just a nightmare.

I walked slowly towards the bed, the blue quilt still spread out, the indents in the pillows still visible. I sat down slowly on the end, and gathered the quilt to my face. It still smelt like Tobias. No matter how much he physically exerted himself, he still smelt like fresh summer rain. I reminded me of safety.

The door creaking startled me from my thoughts and I saw Uriah poke his head through the door.

"Ah, there you are" he puffed. "You know how I feel about you sneaking out in the middle of the night!"

"Sorry" I responded meekly.

Uriah took in the room, his eyes fixated on the stain on the matt. He furrowed his brows at me and nodded.

"Five minutes, Tris and I'm leaving the door cracked, okay?"

I wanted to argue with him, wanted to scream at him that I wasn't a child and could be left alone for five minutes without going psychotic! But that wasn't the truth and the stain on the floor was evidence of that. In reality that's what had happened so I understood the worry Uriah's face now held.

"Okay" I nodded and Uriah's head disappeared from the room.

Tears were threatening to escape my eyes as I thought about how much I loved the man who once resided here. How much I loved him yes, but also how much I hated him. Hated him for leaving me when I needed him the most. Being well enough to finally read the note for myself felt like being shot all over again, this time straight though my heart.

I let the quilt drop back onto the bed and took one last look around before switching off the lights and closing the door, ensuring it was locked. Uriah helped me return the key to its hiding place and we walked slowly and silently back to the apartment. Once inside Uriah placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me effortlessly into his bedroom where Christina was asleep cuddled up on one side of his bed. We had been here before. Me a catatonic mess and him terrified I would do something stupid again. It was an unspoken rule; I wasn't going to be left alone, not tonight, not tomorrow, not for the rest of my life if they all had it their way. At first I was upset, that they were monitoring my every move, analyzing my moods, checking I had taken the correct dosage of medication and at the right times. It wasn't until I began to shake out of my downward spiral that I noticed the bags under Christina's eyes, the muted tone in Zeke's voice and the weary smile Uriah had to force. I was hurting them, my friends, my family, the only family I had left. So I tried harder, complained less, let them feed me medications, schedule my days, and ensure one of them was with me at all times. Slowly this life started to become the norm and everyone reverted back to their former selves.

I settled myself on my left side, the bed dipping under my weight causing Christina to stir. She flicked her eye-lids open at me, she didn't look surprised, she just wiggled over towards me and rested her arm over my shoulder. Uriah took off his sweatshirt and looked down at us. He gave me a swift brotherly kiss to the temple and got in on the right side, effectively spooning Christina. I let the fatigue take over and closed my eyes.

AN: As always please R&R


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thanks to those who have followed this story. This is my first attempt at writing anything from first person, and honestly it's easier than I originally thought; though I seem to find it easier to write from Tobias' POV. With that in mind, I give you chapter 2.

Chapter 2

 _(Tobias)_

The familiar screech of wheels meant the train was nearing the Dauntless compound. I took out Zeke's letter from my back jean pocket and skimmed over it again. I had re-read it over a dozen times, but I wanted to make sure that my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. I wanted to make sure that Tris had actually said she was fine with me coming back. Zeke hadn't elaborated in his letter about how she was or what sort of reception he was going to expect. He had only told me that Tris had said "Dauntless was my home too." I returned the letter to my pocket and grabbed the side of the train door with either hand and leant my body out just far enough to feel the rush of the air, but not far enough to be hit by any passing buildings. I smiled as I remembered doing this countless times during my time at Dauntless.

The train started to slow, then came to a complete stop right outside the compound's main entrance. It was such an odd feeling not having to jump, but I guess part of the new changes in this city were for the good of everyone, not just those who chose Dauntless.

I gathered up the two duffel bags of belongings I had accumulated on my time away and stepped off the train. I immediately saw Zeke sitting on a concrete block just outside the entrance flicking stones into a nearby grate. The sight of my best friend helped eased my tensions about returning. It didn't take him long to spot me amongst the crowd, he jumped up and headed toward me in a sprint.

"Man! So good to see you!" He clapped me on the back and took in my appearance, "what, you forget how to shave while you were away?"

"It's a Baltimore thing."

"So that's where you've been?"

"Zeke" I sighed.

"Nah, it's cool, I mean you skip out on us without so much as a goodbye or explanation for the better part of a year and I get two letters the entire time. One to say 'don't stress I'm alive and okay', the other to find out if the girlfriend you bailed on is willing to let you come home." I could tell by his tone that he wasn't joking, despite the half goofy smile on his face.

"I have a lot of explaining to do I know, but can we get to this later? I'm dying for a beer and these bags are heavy, even for me"

Zeke hung his head.

"I promise, I'll tell you anything you want to know, but I'm back, for good. I'm not going anywhere, ever again."

Zeke raised his head and looked me straight in the eyes. "Yeah, we'll see" he said as he grabbed one of the duffel bags off my shoulder and headed into the compound with me trailing behind.

It amazes me how smell can trigger a memory. The dark and mouldy caves in Dauntless always smelled musty and damp. Nothing had changed much, except for the people. There was clearly a diverse group of people now living here, functioning on a day to day basis. The true Dauntless members still donned the typical Dauntless black and charcoal grey, while others were happily mixing and matching. I saw fluoro colours mixed with black, stripes mixed with charcoal. It made me feel a surge of pride, I had helped to make this revolution, to make Dauntless what it is today.

I followed Zeke up the route to the south west apartments; surely his old apartment wasn't still available, was it? As Zeke rounded the corner to the place I once called home, I chuckled.

"Really?" I asked as we stood at the front door.

"Yup, we, I had it locked up as soon as we got back, made sure it was here waiting for you when you decided we were worth coming home for." He tried to make it sound like a joke, but it still hit pretty hard.

Zeke walked over and kicked over a pile of rocks to uncover a hidden key.

I took the key from Zeke and turned the lock on the door, it creaked as it opened the same way it used to. The light from the vast windows lit up the room and what little furniture I had. The bed was still unmade, the blue quilt messy on the bed, the head indents still in the pillows. Two of them, the last time I slept here I wasn't alone. I heard Zeke curse lightly under his breath as he dumped my duffel bag at the foot of the bed.

"What's with the stain?" I asked repeating his actions and following Zeke's gaze towards the large rust coloured stain on the matt. It looked a lot like blood.

"Nah was just a freak accident, one of the factionless. I meant to chuck it, I just forgot." He bent down and started to remove the matt. I lifted the bottom of the bed to give him better access. He rolled the it up and shoved it under his arm.

"All yours man, you know your way around." He looked at his watch. "Just keep away from the training rooms until after dinner, oh and don't go near the north sector." I raised an eyebrow at him, "Why?"

Zeke shook his head "You know why" I swallowed hard. I knew he was trying not to bring Tris into the conversation. And telling me where to avoid her, meant he as much as me wasn't ready for that reunion just yet.

"Just give it time, things have been…" He trailed off and glanced down at the rolled up matt under his arm, "rough." I wanted to press him for more information but I knew now wasn't the time. "See you at dinner" I nodded and he left closing the door behind him.

I sat down on the bed, the left side, Tris' side and let my body fall back and relax. I smiled as I realised the quilt still smelled like her. Like peaches and honey, almost like she was here yesterday. My mind travelled as it often did to Tris, the war, what happened at the Bureau and the soul shattering conversation I'd had with Caleb, Tris' brother straight after she was taken to the hospital. It took a long time for me to come to terms with the nature of that conversation, that I was in fact, Marcus Eaton's son, the son of a sick and twisted abuser. He asked me truthfully if I could look him in the eye and swear that I'd never touch Tris the way my father touched me. Before the war I would have sworn it, but war, war does something to you, it changes you, for the worse, and there's no going back after that. I had done things, things I wasn't proud of and I didn't know if I could trust myself not to turn into my father.

Tris had been put into an induced coma to help her body heal after David had shot her six times before she could set off the memory serum. I knew she was safe, alive, so I traveled back to the city and snuck back into Dauntless to run my fear landscape one last time. Fear of heights, confined spaces, all predictable, but then it changed, no longer was I forced to kill an innocent or face my father.

This time I stood in an Abnegation house, in the small bare kitchen. A small child ran through and bumped into my legs. He looked up at me with blue grey eyes and a blonde mop of hair. As soon as he saw me his face turned to shock, then to terror as he backed away from me slowly while calling out for his mother. I breathed a sigh of relief as I recognised Tris walk into the room, she had on her old abnegation clothing, her hair tied up into a bun and she cradled a small bundle in her arms. It took me a moment to realize that this was my family. Tris bent down next to the little boy as he whispered something to her, her smile quickly left her face and was replaced by a similar look of terror as what I saw on the little boy. Tris quickly stood up and ushered the boy behind her with her free hand. I took a step towards her, hoping to ease her fear; however she kept backing away from me.

"Tris" my voice coming out thick.

"Tobias, he didn't mean it, he knows he's not meant to run in the house, I'll keep a closer eye on him, I swear." Her words came out stuttered and quiet as she adjusted the baby in her arms. I took another step closer.

"Please" she whispered as tears began to spill onto her perfect cheeks.

It was then I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the glass window in the dining room, my mouth dropped open and my hands balled into fists as I examined myself in the reflection, I wasn't me, I was him. I had morphed into my father's image. The reflection smirked back at me and it suddenly stepped out from the glass. My reflection began to stalk towards Tris, who was still slowly backing out of the room, pushing the little boy behind her. Tears were freely flowing down her face, I looked between her and my reflection as it began to gain on her slowly and I stepped forward. At least I tried to step forward but my feet wouldn't move, I was stuck, I tried everything to get myself to move closer, to protect her, to protect our children, but I couldn't! I had to stand there and watch while my reflection raised his fist and it came into contact with Tris' face. I screamed out to her, to myself, but it didn't work. The small boy started to whimper and cry as the abuse kept coming. Tris hit the floor, trying her best to protect the baby in her arms. I doubled over in physical pain at what I was seeing, banging my head on the ground before the simulation disappeared and I was left alone on the floor in the landscape room.

It took all of 10 seconds later for me to vomit up the contents of my stomach, my whole body was covered in a thick sheen of sweat and I couldn't stop convulsing. I had been terrified of my father before sure, but nothing, nothing I had seen or been through even compared to what I had just witnessed.

I made my mind up before I had even left the landscape room and jumped on the first convoy back to the Bureau and back to Tris. Her condition hadn't changed, she looked small and pale lying there in that hospital bed, I couldn't help but think that somehow if I stayed; she would end up back here again or worse. I tore off a piece of paper from the bottom of her medical chart and scribbled down my last words to her on it.

I bent down and kissed her lips one final time, lightly and chaste. They felt the same as they always did, warm and full. I whispered goodbye and left her room, left the hospital, then the Bureau. I managed to get a lift with a truck heading north and I didn't look back only forward; forward to a safe life for Tris, one free of the horrors that I carry with me.

I travelled to a few different cities, exploring what the world outside the fence was like, earning my way by finding seedy bars which were fronts for illegal fights. I gained my fair share of split lips and blood noses, but I never lost. My Dauntless training would ensure it. That was until a day a few weeks back, I had been in Baltimore for around six weeks and had found some honest part-time work with a mechanic. A blonde woman, about Tris' stature, came in to see if someone could help her with her flat tyre. She said she had her two young children with her and her husband was out of town working. While working to change her tyre I heard her speaking with the boy in the backseat.

"When is daddy coming home?" He asked.

"I'm not sure baby, soon I hope, he's very busy with work."

"But I miss him mummy, I love my daddy" he whined.

"I know baby, I love your daddy too." When I had finished I stood up to let her know she was good to go when I noticed the young children. A small boy with blue grey eyes and blonde hair. Next to him was an infant capsule holding a tiny little girl with deep-set brown eyes and full lips. Just like my landscape.

"Thank you so much for… helping me" She had briefly paused after she said 'for'. I just nodded and she flashed me a smile, once again I couldn't help but think of Tris.

I stood there for what seemed likes hours, trying to work out if that had really happened, or if it was all a part of some warped concoction that my brain had cooked up to torture me some more. At that very moment a flock of ravens flew over the sky, three of which hung back from the flock. They were the perfect fit for Tris' tattoo.

That night I found myself writing a letter to Zeke to find out if there was any chance that I was welcome back home, because now after the events I witnessed that day, I knew that it was where I belonged. I didn't care anymore if I didn't trust myself enough not to become my father; all that mattered was that Tris trusted enough for the both of us. Or at least she had… I wondered if she still did.

I was determined to fix the mess I had made with Tris before it was too late, before she had decided to move on, but first I needed to fix myself. I dragged myself into the small bathroom just off the kitchenette of my apartment and took a long hot shower, shaved and threw on some of my old Dauntless clothing. It helped. I started to feel more like I was home rather than a visitor in a place I had once felt comfortable.

I glanced at the small clock on the bedside table, 7:30. Dinner was being served in the cafeteria, and if I headed there now I should be able to run into Zeke and hopefully the rest of my friends. I had a lot of making up to do. Secretly I had hoped Tris would be there, but that thought made me nervous more than anything else. How was I going to even start to explain to her my reasons behind leaving, behind leaving her?

I shrugged off the nervousness and headed out of my apartment, locking the door behind me and walked down the narrow and slightly wet path towards the main area of the compound that housed the pit and the cafeteria. I stopped briefly to look down into the pit, the centre of life at Dauntless. It was just how I remembered it, only a lot less people showing off their bravados. There were plenty of people milling around, talking, making out, and enjoying the freedoms that the war had provided them. I let a small smile take over my face; some good had come out of it all.

I heard her before I saw her, her laugh was etched into my brain, even after so many months apart I would recognize that sound anywhere. My eyes strained as I focused down into the pit and I saw a quick flash of blonde running, disappearing towards Tori's tattoo parlour. For a second I wasn't sure my body could remember how to breathe, she was real, she was alive and she was here. As much as my heart was begging me to run after her, follow her, beg for her forgiveness, my brain was intercepting and reminding of what Zeke had said.

My brain was definitely winning as I found my legs begin to take me towards the cafeteria. I spotted Zeke and Uriah sitting at our same old table, so I slowly moved over towards them. I was spotted by a few old Dauntless members, who all nodded their approval of my return, something I was grateful for. When I had made the decision to return I wasn't sure what sort of reception I would receive, not only from my old faction members, but my friends, and definitely from Tris.

I shuffled myself into the seat next to Zeke.

"Thank fuck you found a razor!" Zeke grinned at me as he slid over a plate with an empty hotdog bun. I couldn't help but notice that the entire table had gone silent. It took a good 30 seconds before Uriah broke it.

"Four," he smiled, genuinely pleased to see me, at least I hoped, "good to see you back."

"There's really no place like Dauntless," I shot him a grateful smile back.

"So, what you been up to, where the hell have you been?"

I looked back down at my empty hotdog bun. "It's a pretty long story really."

"Condense it then." It was a fair enough question and one I was sure I'd be asked over and over again.

"I traveled north, checked out a few cities, that sort of thing."

"You got some serious balls man; there is no way I'm going back outside that fence! Last time, I almost died." I dropped my fork. It wasn't something I had easily forgotten, I was part of the reason Uriah almost lost his life, and I still felt sick about how it had all come about. However, Uriah didn't seem phased at all and I wondered if anyone had explained to him how the bombing that put him into a coma was partly my fault. "Well while you were gone, shit has been happening man, crazy shit. New governments, new leaders, the factions are all open, it's surprisingly peaceful."

I nodded. I had read the papers while I was away, I wanted to know that all of our sacrifices had not been in vain and that we had managed to change the way the city was run.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in." I could hear Christina's annoying voice from behind me, so I swivelled on my stool to meet her.

"Candor" I nodded.

She snorted. "Fuck you, I have a name!" I mentally slapped myself. I wasn't her instructor anymore, she had every right to be annoyed.

"Christina, good to see you too." She opened her mouth to reply, but Zeke beat her to it.

"Now children, don't make me send you both to the naughty corner."

"Whatever, I'm just here to grab some take-away."

Uriah looked at me before he spoke to her. "Where's the Princess?"

"Making sure Blondie goes through with his end of their bet. Remind me to slap him really hard on the shoulder tomorrow at training. That designs gonna hurt like a bitch." She laughed then looking directly at Uriah, "I got it tonight, switch in the morning?" Uriah nodded and Zeke kept his eyes on his food. Clearly they were speaking code because I was around and clearly it had something to do with Tris. Christina left and headed towards the giant que for food. I watched her retreating form, she hadn't changed, still short. still brunette. She had clearly gotten a few new tattoos but overall, she looked like the same smart mouth Candor I met on her first day at Dauntless.

"So tonight, small gathering by the chasm, kind of like a welcome home, you're in right?" Zeke asked, bringing me back to the present.

"I don't know Zeke; it was a pretty long trip."

"Oh fuck you man, you owe us. It wasn't just her you left you know!" The hurt from earlier had come back to Zeke's voice. He was right, I walked out and left everyone, everyone I had ever trusted and called my family.

"You bringing the beer?"

"Oh come on, is Dauntless cake awesome?" Zeke held his hand out to make his point.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: This chapter is decided to my first reviewer "Cake" – Thanks for the review. And now, I give you chapter 3.

Chapter 3

 _(Tris)_

I had sent Christina down to the cafeteria to retrieve us some dinner since I was laying low at my apartment up in the Pier. Zeke had let me know that Tobias was due to come back today, and I wasn't ready to face him. Honestly I didn't know what I was going to say to him when I did eventually run into him. I was still angry, but I wanted answers. Most of all I didn't want to hear him confirm my fear, that he left because he couldn't trust me, because of what I did that day at the Bureau; taking Caleb's place in the weapons lab. The conversation we had about me risking my life plays over and over in my head, _"You are not your parents, you are a sixteen year old girl who doesn't understand that the value of a sacrifice lies in its necessity, not in throwing your life away! And if you do that again, you and I are done!"_ He had once said to me, long before I even entered the weapons lab. I knew he was going to be upset with me for doing it, but I had to, my brother's life, our city was worth my risk, worth my life. At least that's how I saw it. I never got the chance to even discuss it with Tobias, by the time I had woken up from the medical coma, he was long gone, keeping to his promise that if I risked my own life again, we were done. I never even got a say in it.

And that's what made me angry, that anger is what I use daily to push myself through the gruelling runs Zeke takes me on, the intense group training sessions and the little daily routines. Sure it made me a better fighter, a stronger solider, but at my core I was still weak without him.

The door knob to my front door turned and Christina fell through it, arms full of food and drinks.

"What took you so long? Impromptu make out session with Uri?" But I knew what she was going to say by the seriousness in her face.

"I ran into Four"

I bit my lip. "And?"

"And he's still an asshole as far as I can tell" she threw over her shoulder as she begun to drop the food and drink items on the kitchen counter.

"How'd he look?" Christina sighed and dropped her head.

"Tris"

"What? I'm not even allowed to ask?" They had all been keeping me in the dark about Tobias' return, just that today was the day he was back and if I wanted to avoid him that I should try and steer clear of the south west side of the compound. Basically telling me he was back living in his old apartment.

"He looked the same as the day we met him, only slightly more tired" The image of Tobias' eyes as he pulled me out of the net for the first time flooded my thoughts. The memory of his strong arms grasping for me and placing me on the ground was still fresh in my mind. His hands always felt like they belonged on me, like I was missing a part of myself when he wasn't touching me.

"Right, movie or nails?" She said holding up what looked to be a romance movie in one hand and a bottle of hot pink nail polish in the other.

I groaned. "That's my only choice?" She just grinned at me.

"Should have gone with Uri" I mumbled under my breath.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that… fine, movie it is"

We eat while watching the movie, mostly in silence which I was thankful for. It was hard to concentrate on the movie when all I could think about how close Tobias was to me, just across the compound. I mentally slapped myself, no, I would not go there. I was too angry at him to just give in and go to him. I wanted a explanation, I wanted answers, but mostly I wanted to know if there was any chance we could ever be together again. He had been gone 10 months, he could have easily moved on, with plenty of girls, girls that didn't have the emotional baggage I had, or the apparent death wish I was harbouring too. Girls who's bodies weren't riddled with scars, who weren't one numerous medications just to get them though the day. I bet they were just throwing themselves at him.

The notion of him being with someone else, or even many someone else's made me want to hurl. I put down the rest of my food, with just a few bites missing and excused myself to the bathroom. My toiletry bag was sitting on the bathroom basin. I opened it and sifted around until I found the right pill jar. I popped the lid and downed 2 of the pills without the help of any water. I had been on them for so long I started to get used to just taking them straight.

I looked at myself in the mirror, something that still made me slightly uncomfortable even after all this time, I shook my head at myself, my Abnegation roots were still deeply ingrained into me, no matter how Divergent I was. I tried to remember what I first looked like when I came to Dauntless, the day of my choosing ceremony. I had a small layer of baby fat around my face, my hair was longer and my skin was pasty white, but now, now my face had defined features and cheek bones, all excess weight was well and truly gone replaced with muscle underneath my tanned skin. My hair had grown out slightly from where I cut it back at Amity. I didn't grow it all the way back to its original length, opting to keep it just below my shoulders.

Much to Christiana's excitement, eyeliner and mascara had become a daily staple in my life, and I would let her use me as her doll to makeup and dress up when we often went out to the club or one of the numerous bars Dauntless had. As much as I'd hate to admit it to her, it did make me feel better, stronger, like I could take on anything and anyone, which was probable why during those 'outings' all my friends were on 'Tris Watch'. They thought I didn't know, but they never left me alone long. Zeke once mutter under his breath that trouble seemed to follow me, especially those nights where a random guy would attempt to man handle me and I would knock them unconscious with a whisky bottle to the head. I wondered briefly if that would all change now Tobias had returned. From their short time in Dautnless before the war began she got the feeling he was defiantly someone people feared, feared and respected. Maybe the general population would just assume they were back together. That could get really awkward, really quick.

I scrunched up my nose at my train of thought and decided I better return to the movie before Christina barged in here demanded to know what I was doing. I found her snoring on the couch with the movie credits rolling on the screen. That girl could sleep anywhere at any time, I was jealous of her.

Due to the pills I had just taken I had started to build up a excess amount of energy, I could tell because I started to bounce up and down on the balls of my feet. My doctors always said it was good to walk the side effects off, so I pulled on my trainers and my hooded, hood up, and grabbed the front door key before quietly sneaking out the door.

I knew I was breaking the rules, the silent understanding that I wouldn't go out, especially after dark without a escort. Not that I couldn't take care of myself. My ranking proved that. It was more my mental state everyone was worried about. Sometimes their worry and over protectiveness humbled me, other times it just drove me completely up the wall.

I wasn't sure where I was going; I knew I had to keep clear of the south west side, so I decided to head up along the pier. There was an amazing spot I had found where you could bend out over the railing and see the whole way down to the water in the chasm. I ended up taking the stairs, because I was trying to avoid going anywhere near the Pitt, if Zeke or Uriah caught me, I wouldn't hear the end of it.

By the time I got to the top, I unzipped my jacket due to the light sweat I had built up by running up sixteen flights of stairs. This level was always very quiet, so I had no problem strolling over to the railings and letting my face feel the air at this height. I took a deep breath and smiled slightly. It was almost like freedom, almost.

That's when I heard it, clear as day and it shook me to my core. A laugh echoed up through the chasm and up to where I was perched. That laughed belong to the man I loved. He was down there, just a death jump away. I bent my head over onto the railing and tried to suck in a deep breath when a hand found its way onto my back. I immediately went into defence mode, grabbed my assailant's wrist and bent his arm back forcing him towards the railing and the death drop into the chasm.

"Ouch, Tris, ease up will you"

"Edward!" I released his arm immediately and took a step back. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Edward was rubbing his wrist from where I grabbed at it, and smiled meekly up at me.

"Sorry" I just shook my head and smiled back at him. "What are you doing up here?"

"I could ask you the same question" I quipped

"I asked first"

"Looking for freedom" I responded, turning back out to the wide open air and the railing. I could hear faint voices and laughter from the bottom echoing up.

"Mind if I join you?" Edward gestured to the railing beside me. We both sat down our legs dangling over the rocks edge. "So, are the rumours true?"

I looked at him quizzically.

"About Four" I nodded. "Have you spoken to him?"

"No, and I don't really plan on it" I lied.

Edward looked forward again. "Do you want to talk about this?"

"No, not really" I snuffed.

"Okay, want to go for a drink instead?" He offered

"I can't, I just took some wicked uppers and I'm not meant to drink on them"

"Yeah, right. Okay, we can just hang out here, and then I'll walk you back when you're ready?"

"That would be nice" I smiled genuinely at him.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: This is the last of the pre-written chapters, however this story seems to be writing it's self, so the updates should be coming thick and fast. Enjoy chapter 4 – remember reviews are always appreciated.

Chapter 4

 _(Tobias)_

It felt like a life time ago the last time I was this far down in the chasm. The last time I was with Tris. The memory made me smile. The path down hadn't changed one bit, and I managed to navigate it in the dark until I reached the opening and the light. Zeke had set up a small table, complete with a small lantern and drinks.

"What took you so long?" Zeke asked as he came up to me, shoving a beer in my hands.

"I got lost" I smirked. I knew he wouldn't fall for that, but he was a good enough friend not to call me out on it. I hadn't got lost, I went back to my apartment to change my shirt, brush my teeth and ensure I looked and smelled okay just in case I ran into Tris. I surveyed the people around me and was disappointed when I didn't see her.

I could see Tori speaking with Bud and caught her eye; she smiled and headed over towards me.

"Four" She said in a singsong voice before my face suddenly felt a sharp hit of pain, and began to throb. Tori had slapped me right across the left side of my face.

"Where the fuck did you run off too? Leaving me with a huge mess to clean up, not to mention your psychotic fucking mother"

She was right, I had let her down. I was elected a leader of Dauntless and I ran from that responsibility.

"I deserved that"

"You deserve more than that!" She was still looking at me with a hard look, but after a few moments she relaxed and sighed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm back, that's a start, right?"

"Hell yes it is!" Uriah chimed in, his beer meeting mine in a clinking sound.

I spent a few hours chatting to everyone about what I had been up to, everyone seemed so fascinated by the cities I had visited and the people I had met, while they all keep me entertained with what had changed around here. Sadly no one mentioned Tris at all. I had just finished my third beer when I saw Christina yanking on Zeke's shirt. She was alone, again I was disappointed.

I couldn't hear clearly what was being said so I walked over close to their group.

"What do you mean you lost her?" Zeke's voice was raised. "You had one job Christina, one fucking job!"

"I fell asleep okay, she took off"

"Fuck" Uriah said shaking his head and putting his beer down.

"Lost who?" I asked, even tho I knew I who they were talking about. What I didn't understand was why they were all so freaked out.

The three of them just looked at me, silent. I furrowed my brows. "Why don't you just look thought the live camera feeds from the control room?"

Zeke perked up. "The man has a very good idea" he led the way out of the chasm with Uriah and Christina in tow; I shrugged to myself before following them.

By the time I had caught up with them, Zeke and Uriah were already seated at a control computers flicking from camera to camera. Christina paced behind them chewing on her finger nail. I still didn't understand what she had meant that she had 'lost' Tris and why they were so worried, maybe she just went for a walk. Tris was very independent, she was the kind of soul you couldn't keep caged if you tried, and I should know after all, I tried.

"Got her!" Zeke practically leaped out of his chair and everyone moved in closer to his computer. It was only then that they registered my presence.

"Uh, Four you really shouldn't…" Zeke had started, but I cut him off by standing my ground and folding my arms over my chest. I wasn't going anywhere.

I looked closer at the image on Zeke's screen; Tris sat on the edge of a rock just under a safety railing with her legs dangling over the side. Next to her was a guy, younger than me with blond hair. I noticed the eye patch over one eye and remembered the kid from initiation and my short stint in the factionless sector with my mother.

"Edward?" It came out more of a question than a statement. Everyone remained still and quiet.

Tris and Edward sat close, close enough to make my blood start to boil. She was smiling and laughing as he spoke to her, throwing her head back in a snot laugh causing her hair to fall all around her shoulders. She looked amazing, strong, and beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. She nodded at Edward who now stood, he reached down his hand to help Tris off the ground and they walked back towards the Pier elevator together.

"Right, um, we should go, Chris, go get her, lock her up if you have to. Gentlemen we have beers to finish" Zeke hurriedly turned off the monitors and got out of his chair. But I couldn't move, my eyes were still fixated on the screen, my hands were involuntary closing into fists.

"How long has that been going on?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level and free of emotion.

"Nothing is going on man, they're just friends" Zeke attempted to clap me on the back and steer me out the door.

"Could you blame her if there was? I mean, you left her, remember. What makes you think you can just walk back into her life, you've got no idea what she's been though." Christina stood toe to toe with me, looking me directly in the eyes, she was defiantly brave, I'll give her that.

What she said sunk in, and she was right. What right did I have to just show up and expect that Tris had put her life on pause beucase I wasn't man enough to be with her? Was Zeke lying to me to placate me, was there more to their friendship?

Christina huffed at me and blew past me out of the control room. Zeke gently put his hand on my shoulder and I let him, now was the time to be blowing up, it was my first day back. So I let Zeke drag me back to the chasm but I kept my mind on Tris. I hoped that by now Christina had found her, and taken her back to wherever it is she lived and like Zeke said, locked her up away from Edward.

xxxxx

The first night back in my own bed was surreal. I could still smell Tris on the fabric of the quilt which made me hyper aware of just how close we were again, living in the same city, the same faction. I thought of the way she looked, and laughed at Edward. We never got many of those moments; intimacy was difficult during a war. The way it did the first time she came back from zip lining, or the first time she hit a bullseye during training. She was Tris, but she wasn't the Tris I remember, the war had clearly changed her too. Perhaps we could be broken together; perhaps we could mend each another from the inside out.

It was still early when I woke, the sun wasn't even up, but my mind wouldn't let me sleep any longer. I had always been an early riser ever since I was a kid. I have my father to thank for that. I still had some pent up energy about Tris and Edward so I decided a early morning run would help get rid of that, in case I ran into either of them in the compound today. I laced up my trainers and threw on a jacket, putting the hood up to help cover my cold ears and headed out the door. I made it outside and into the fresh air; the sun was slowly rising from its resting place by the time I had made it around the compound twice. As I neared the Hancock building I noticed two figures at the entrance. One was standing, clothed in dark clothes, jogging on the spot, as I got closer I recognised it was Zeke, so I head over towards him. The other figure clad in black and neon pink was standing sideways to me doubled over gripping their abs. As I got closer the sun came up just enough for me to make out, it was Tris, her eyes were closed and she was breathing in deeply.

I stopped just a few feet away from them, uncertain how to continue. Zeke just looked at me with wide eyes, switching between me and Tris like a predator about to jump. Tris must have heard my footsteps because her eyes snapped open and she stood upright, her blue grey eyes meeting mine for the first time in almost a year. Even this far away I could smell her shampoo, the scent of peaches and sweat wafted though the air right towards me. We stood there staring at each other for what felt like an eternity, I rememorised her face, took in every change to her features.

"Tris" my voice was barely loud enough for her to hear me.

"What makes you think you can talk to me" She spat, bitterly. A phrase I was all too familiar with, a phrase I even used on her once.

"Tris, please" I almost begged her.

Her eyes suddenly dropped, down the length of my body and back up to my face before she dragged her eyes away and faced Zeke again.

"We've still got 2 miles to go, right?"

Zeke nodded. "You think you can manage it grasshopper?"

Tris scrunched up her face; "Fuck you" she threw at Zeke before turning and jogging in the opposite direction to me.  
Zeke threw a sympathici look in my direction before sprinting off after her. Well, that could have gone better.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 _(Tris)_

We've finished our run, even smashed out a workout before I headed to the shower. It felt so good letting the hot water run over my body. I'm sure I've already been in here for longer than necessary, but I still couldn't figure out what came over me earlier. I hadn't meant to sound so spiteful towards Tobias, but seeing him there, without warning made me see red. I wanted our first meting to be on my terms, when I was ready to talk. It just felt like he had planned it, he had stalked us out on our run. I asked Zeke if he told Tobias about our morning routine, his straight face told me no and I believed him. He had no reason to lie; he was just as uncomfortable as Tobias and I were during that spontaneous meeting.

As angry and uncomfortable as I was, I still couldn't help the way my whole body involuntary responded to Tobias saying my name. It was like a spark was lit deep down inside, one that hadn't sparked since we were last together. Christina was right; he did look good, just how I remembered him, and just how he appeared in all my dreams. It made hating him all that much harder. No, I corrected myself, I didn't hate him, and I could never hate him. I hated what he had done to me, to our relationship. He destroyed it in less than 12 written words.

For the time being I had to shake it off, I was due in Tori's office in a few minutes and I was already running late. I threw on a black skirt that hit my mid thigh and a pale blue button down shirt, before sliding on some flats and rushing out the door up to the Pier offices.

I quickly dumped my tablet and keys in my office, straightened my skirt and headed towards Tori's office. Since my return to Dauntless I had been on restricted duties as far as my leadership role was concerned, but I was hoping that shortly they would be lifted and I could somehow be useful again.

I walked into Tori's office where she and Bud were already in a heated discussion.

"Late" Tori looked at me.

"Sorry" I mumbled and took a seat next to Bud.

"How you doing Tris?" Bud asked eyeing me up and down.

"I'm good, thanks" I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Tris, we've spoken to doctors and to Zeke and they all feel it's time you return to your leadship role"

"Really?" I asked hopefully. This is just the distraction I needed.

"We want to ease you back in, we know you still have a lot of physical therapy to do so we want to work around that." Tori said while shuffling through some papers on her desk clearly searching for something.

"So, we want to put you in charge of Emergency Response" Bud said with a smile.

"Emergency Response?" Tori explained that Dauntless was not only responsible for policing our city, but were also the faction responsible to respond when fires and natural disasters hit.

"You'll need to select 4 team leaders, and 10 members each for each team. Each team will be on a rotating shift schedule, so when shit goes down, we always have a sober team to respond. Your members will need to pass a physical as well as a fitness test, so I recommend you start with Zeke's elite squad."

When Zeke had started to train me a few other members begged to be included, since then the group had grown each week, so much so, Zeke had to put a limit on who could join. If you where ranked in the top 8 of your initiation class you could join, everyone else had to join the sub team. Zeke was so impressed with how well everyone worked; he started calling us "Team Elite". It was stupid, but it worked, we all competed against each other for bragging rights, while keeping our bodies in optimal shape.

Tori stoped flicking papers around and handed me a thick black folder. "This all okay with you?" She asked.

"Of course, it's a welcomed distraction" Tori gave me a small smile.

"I thought as much"

"I'll have the Erudite geeks reinstate your mainframe access. Welcome back Stiff" They both smirked at me and I took the folder with me and headed back to my office.

The rest of the day flew by, I spent most my time held up in my office going over personal files of all the members who were training with me and Zeke looking for good candidates for the Emergency Response teams, the ERT as I was calling it.

It wasn't until Zeke and Shauna knocked on my office door that I realized how late it was.

"Hey" I said, stifling a yawn with my mouth.

"Missed you at dinner" Zeke said while taking a seat across from me at the desk. Shauna wheeled herself in and parked next to Zeke.

"Spag bol dude, you totally missed out" Shauna grinned at me. Zeke picked up a pen from my desk and started to click it.

"I just got caught up" I shrugged and motion with my hands to my messy desk. "You guys checking up on me?" I asked suspiciously.

"Us?" Shauna pointed between herself and Zeke. "Never. We were just in the area, thought we would roll in"

Zeke continued to click the pen in and out, it was a frustrating noise.

"So what ya working on?" Shauna asked while lifting up the some of the pages on my desk. I was quick to snatch them up.

"Leadership stuff" I quipped. "I'm back onboard, got my mainframe access back and everything" I smiled. Zeke was unusually quiet; he was still clicking the pen, which was like a nervous tick. Something wasn't right with him.

It was then I heard Tori's laugh and heavy footsteps coming down the hallway. Zeke jumped out of his chair and ran towards the door, but he was too late. Tori and Tobias appeared just past the door jam. Tobias' jaw dropped when he saw me and Zeke just dropped his head.

"Oh crap, I thought you'd left by now Tris" Tori said while trying to nudge Tobias down the hall and out of my office doorway, but he didn't budge. Then it clicked, Zeke, Shauna, they were here to keep me in my office until Tobias had left.

"Right!" I slammed both my palms down on my desk and stood up pushing my chair behind me. "I get it. You pair" I point at Zeke and Shauna. "Keeping me in my office to make sure I don't cause a scene, like I'm a fucking child going to throw a hissy fit or something!" No one moved, no one spoke. I swiped up my keys and tablet off the desk and headed towards the door, where Tori and Tobias still stood. I paused and shot Zeke a heated look. "Trust" I said "Works both way" and I stormed out the door, darting straight in between Tori and Tobias, effectively knocking both with my shoulders.

I felt it instantly, the spark, as soon as my shoulder knocked into Tobias' frame. It was almost enough to knock the air out of me, but I didn't let it show, not until I had managed to get a down a few flights of stairs towards the Pit. I stopped on level 6 and slumped down on the bottom stair. Why was I acting like this? Like I couldn't control the anger that seemed to want to exploded every time he was near me. What was wrong with me? Had I mismatched my medication again? After staring at my feet for a while I heard a familiar ping. I pulled my tablet onto my lap and unlocked it with my finger print and opened the messenger icon. It was Tori, " _My bad, I'm sorry."_

I sent back, _"It's okay, I just…"_ what do I say after my loosing my shit for no apparent reason? I backspaced a bit.

" _I'm just tired."_ I decided to go with. Another ping.

" _If you ever want to talk, you know where I am x"_ I smiled. I really did have some amazing friends, friends I never even dreamed of back in Abnegation.

I knew it wouldn't be long until Zeke caught up with me, and I owed him more of an apology than I did Tori. I got up off the really uncomfortable stair I was sitting on and walked myself down to the bottom level. I knew walking through the Pit risked running into Tobias, again, but my need to set things right with Zeke was outweighing my nervousness about Tobias right now.

It was only 9pm and there was already a steady swarm of people in the Pit, laughing, drinking and joking. I pushed my way though the general crowd towards the stairway to the south west apartments where Zeke and Shauna lived. Just before I hit the bottom of the stairs I ran into something, hard.

The wall I hit smelt awfully familiar and the abs my hands where currently resting on to help steady myself felt so good and warm under my palms. I bit my lip and looked up. Dark deep set eyes looked back at me, and seemed to be just as shocked as I was.

"Sorry" He stuttered out. I shook my head at him, after all I ran into him. I wasn't going to be able to avoid him forever; fate seemed to be screwing with me. So I gave up and gave in.

"Zeke" I said. He looked confused as he furrowed his brow. "Have you seen Zeke?"

"I think he and Shauna went home." I nodded.

"Thanks" I said before pulling back away from him. I regretted it instantly as his warmth was now gone from my hands. I went to turn around and head back through the Pit and towards my own apartment when I felt a gentle yet firm hand grasped my elbow.

"Can we talk?" He asked, eyes hopeful yet wary. My bottom lip found its way into my teeth, something I seemed to do a lot whenever Tobias was around. His left hand moved up momentarily like he was about to touch my face, then quickly it dropped back down to his side.

I closed my eyes, enjoying his gentle hand on me, god how I missed him. I shook my head.

"I'm not ready yet" was all I could muster. His hand dropped from my elbow and I opened my eyes to look at his face. He looked deflated and tired. I wondered briefly if he had just as much trouble sleeping as I did.

He shifted his weight like he was about to leave when my mouth opened and I spoke before I even had time to process what I was thinking.

"Don't give up on me. I'm…" I could see his chest rise as he sucked in a deep breath. "I'm trying" was all I got out before we were knocked apart by a blur of black and grey. A fight had broken out in the Pit, which it often did. I took several steps back to avoid getting hit and trained my eyes back to where Tobias was. But he wasn't there. It took a matter of seconds to realize he was now standing right beside me, his warm arm wrapped its' self around my waist and he was firmly guiding me to the outside of the Pit, and towards the west wing.

I took a step up onto the first step and turned back towards him. His arm left my waist and he stood still on the ground. We were almost the same height now, levelled, even.

"Goodnight Tris" he said, and turned around and headed back into the mass of people in the Pit. I quickly headed up the stairs and away from the Pit before anyone could see the blush that was creeping up my neck and directly into my face.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Thanks again to my guest reviewers.

Chapter 6

 _(Tobias)_

My encounter with Tris had left me energised, which was strange because I still felt fatigued from my lack of sleep. The Pit just wasn't giving me the outlet I needed, so I headed to the control room. I wasn't really sure what I was hoping to find, or even if I was able to get in, but it was an old habit I used to use when I couldn't sleep. I would spend hours watching the monitors, the cameras in the compound. It was how I figured out what Max and Eric were really up to, prior to the attack on Abnegation.

I scanned my thumb print on the panel, and it unexpectedly opened. Toriwasn't joking about re-instating my access to leadership level. My meeting with Tori earlier had been rather one sided. She had let her fury show at how I left, and what it meant to the rest of the faction. I took it. I deserved it and I needed to hear it. By the end of her lecture she hadn't even asked if I would even consider rejoining the leadership at Dauntless, she hadn't given me a choice in the matter, saying my acess would be re-instated then dismissed me from her office.

Tori neglected to tell me that Tris was also part of the Dauntless leadership team, I would have fought her harder if she had. Tris wasn't ready for me to be back in her life yet, and honestly I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell her the real heart wrenching, mind numbing reason why I left, and what I had been up too while I was gone. I knew I was going to tell her eventually, but it was going to require some finesse, as well as cooperation on her behalf.

I saw a familiar head sitting at my old computer, bag of chips next to him and a half eaten piece of Dauntless chocolate cake. Zeke had his head resting on his hand, elbow propped up on the desk. I could hear his light snores.

"Sleeping on the job?" I must have startled him because his elbow slipped off the desk and his head almost hit the key board.

"Shit, man"

"No need for profanities"

"Fuck you" He shot back at me. "What are you even doing here?"

"Bored" I shrugged.

"Your bored and you figured you'd come here to cure that? You get brain damage while you were away?" He started stuffing his mouth full of cake while I took a seat next to him on the empty stool.

"Old habits I guess" I shrugged. "I ran into Tris, she was looking for you."

Zeke almost choked "What?" I nodded. "And?"

"And nothing, really, I mean, I asked if we could talk, she said no." Zeke sighed. "But she did say not to give up on her, that she was, trying" I tried to act casual about it by reaching over and snatching up the packet of chips off the desk and placing one in my mouth.

"Trying" Zeke nodded a few times. "That's promising, right?" I shrugged and ate some more. "I mean, you are trying to get her back right? You didn't just come home because you missed seeing my good looking face everyday?" I snorted. Zeke always managed to make light of a situation, no matter how serious. "I don't suppose any of this has to do with the fact you went into your fear landscape the day you left?"

I arched an eyebrow at him. Zeke may act like the class clown, but he was smart, smarter than he'd like everyone to know.

"Yeah"

"Feel like elaborating on that?"

My hand fished around the pocket of my jacket and closed around the small USB drive I had carried around with me since I returned. I wasn't sure when Tris was going to decided she was ready to talk, but she did I was going to be ready.

I removed the USB from my pocket and tossed it on the desk.

"I'll come back" I didn't want to relive what was on that drive, not ever. I trusted Zeke, he was the first person I even confided in about my father once I transferred to Dauntless and I knew I could trust him with this.

I headed down to the cafeteria, to see if I could swindle some extra snacks for Zeke from the kitchen staff. I used to have an understanding with the head chef, Amy, that I could come and go as I pleased, eat as I pleased. It meant I didn't have to hang around in the cafeteria and mingle with other members.

"Four! Long time no see!" Amy poked her head out of the back kitchen.

"It has, how are you? Still working the kitchen I see" I nodded towards the large pot on the nearby stove.

"Yeah well, people still got to eat right?"

"True, I'm actually here to see if I could sneak a few snacks, Zeke's working the control room late and if he's not fed before midnight, he turns green and sticky."

Amy laughed, enough for me to see the stud through her tongue.

"Sure, anything for my favourite instructor" Amy grabbed a bag and disappeared into the storeroom. I glanced around the kitchen, nothing had changed at all. There was a knife left haphazardly on the bench, I picked it up and turned it over in my hand a few times. Small hilt, well balanced, defiantly sharp. It felt almost like an extension of my hand. I spotted an empty can sitting on a bench a fair distance away near the overfilling trash can. I lined it up, took a deep breath in, aimed, exhaled and threw. The knife stuck straight though the can and landed with a loud clatter on the tiles.

"Still got perfect aim I see" Amy returned, the previous empty bag now full. I smiled a tilted my head at her slightly. Flirting with Amy was never easy, it felt forced and unnatural, but it was a necessary to ensure I kept in with her. It was a skill I learnt early on from Zeke and Uriah. Those boys could charm the panties off any girl.

Amy handed me the bag and smiled back at me. "Tell Zeke I said, Hi"

I gratefully accepted the bag. "I will, it was good to see you Amy" I flashed a forced wide smile and hoped it passed as award winning. By the look Amy gave me, I had succeeded.

I had been gone about 15 minuets when I found myself back at the control room door. I scanned myself in taking the bag of snacks with me. Zeke was still sitting in the same spot I left him, this time he wasn't asleep.

"I brought snacks"

"Nice" was all he replied. I sat back down on the stool next to him, the monitor in front of him scanning between cameras, the monitor next to him was blank. The USB stick sat directly in front of him, his eyes glued to it, I worried for a moment he hadn't watched it.

"So?" I questioned.

"I don't know what to say Four" I could hear disappointment in his voice, and it made my stomach drop. I let my head drop into my hands. Zeke waiting a long time before speaking again, picking up the USB stick he turned in his chair towards me. "This is why you left?" I looked back up at him.

"Yeah" I said honestly.

"We've been friends a long time, I respect you, you're my brother man, but honestly you're so fucking stupid sometimes I want to punch you right in your stupidly good looking face"

Well, that wasn't what I was expecting. I shook my head at him, unable to respond.

"This" He waved the USB in front of my face "This is some seriously warped shit, yeah, it's fucking scary and it's all kinds of wrong, but it's not you."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked, pain evident in my voice.

"Because she would never choose someone who would hurt her. You and I both know she's far too smart for that. She chose you for a reason man, even after she knew your fears, after she's seen your soul and heard all your secretes and she still fought for you. Every. Fucking. Day. And what do you do? You run away like a scared fucking pansycake." His tone was still levelled, but I could tell he was worked up.

"I'm a coward" I mutter.

Zeke sighed "It wasn't your best decision, I'll give you that, but your not a coward Four, you've never been a coward. You stood up for yourself and left you're fucked up father, that man, took courage. You stood up to Eric when he was bullying everyone in earshot, probably saving more initiates than you know from jumping into the chasm. And you stood up for her from the moment you pulled her out of that net. You're braver than you realize Tobias, now use some of that bravery and go and get your girl back, before she's not yours anymore" Zeke finished his pep talk by handing me back the USB stick.

I was floored by his words. Since I've known Zeke he has never used, or called me by my real name. I'm not sure what I did in a past life to deserve Zeke, but I'm beyond grateful. I wanted to thank him, to pledge to name my first born after him, whatever it was that guys did in this situation. I should have known Zeke would be a step ahead of me.

"Thanks can be made in the form of booze and cake. Now there's the door, don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out." Zeke nodded towards the door then started to dig thought the bag I had brought back from Amy.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: To my 'constant guest reviewer' this chapter is for you, I'm so thankful for your review it makes me want to write! In answer to your question, I guess Zeke would be an awesome leader, it just happens to make the story easier with Tris and Tobias as leaders, they have more access to things and command more respect (you'll see why I've done this in later chapters, I promise).

Honestly I still feel like my Tris chapters are lacking, it's so much easier to write from Tobias' POV.

Chapter 7

 _(Tris)_

Zeke and I go though our normal morning ritual the following Thursday. It had been a few days since my encounter with Tobias in the Pit and I was thankful he was giving me some space. I knew it was only a matter of time before I was going to have to tell him exactly how crap things had gotten while he was away, and that wasn't a conversation I was looking forward to having. Besides, he owed me answers first.

I brushed my teeth, got into my running gear and put my trainers on while Zeke does his annoying energetic dance in my bedroom. We left the apartment quietly and headed out the north entrance to begin our run, but before we got to the door Zeke suddenly stopped and turned to me.

"Ah I kind of, sort of, well, invited someone to join us this morning" His left hand came up to rub the back of his neck. I didn't even need to guess who it was it had invited.

"Zeke" I whinged.

"It's just a little nudge, I'm not pushing, just nudging. We talked, and I admit it he's stupid, so very very stupid, but there is reason behind it all Tris, you just need to hear him out."

I shake my head at him. "I'm not ready" I say again. It's become an automatic response when someone asks me to do something I don't want to do. I use it as an excuse. I'm not proud of it, but it's become a fight or flight mechanism in my brain that I can't switch off.

"Hench the nudge, maybe if you spent some time together you'll feel ready… eventually?"

He had a point. I missed Tobias. I missed him with every fibre in my being and being around him made me feel awake, more than I had been in a long time. I grunted and pushed open the door to the fresh morning air and low light of the rising sun. Tobias was leaning against the opposite wall, black track pants and a dark green hoodie.

Zeke nodded for Tobias to join us. I shoved my hands in the pocket of my hoodie trying to calm my nerves. As he approached us he went to open his mouth to speak but I was quick to cut him off.

"No talking. Just run" He nodded and the three of us took off towards the coastline. It was strange to be flanked by two people, instead of running side by side with Zeke.

Zeke always ran on my right, and I had to keep reminding myself not to veer too far left or I would run into Tobias. Not that that would be a bad thing, I was literally craving his touch.

We passed all our usual spots, Zeke seemed to be driving us to do the extra long run this morning, which included the hill up towards the fence line. I hated that hill. I paused at the bottom causing Zeke and Tobias to stop too.

"Really? Do we have to?" I puffed, looking up towards the hill.

"No pain, no gain grasshopper" Zeke smirked and took off up the hill.

"I hate you!" I yelled after him, but before I could make a move to follow, a hand fell on my shoulder. Tobias moved to stand in front of me, his eyes locked on mine as he crouched down in front of me. I sucked in a deep breath and looked down at him quizzically.

My shoe lace had come undone and I hadn't even noticed. His expert fingers relaced the knot firmly and he stood up to face me again.

"Thanks" I said, my voice sounding quiet and hoarse from the run.

"Get a move on kids" I could hear Zeke call out from half way up the hill. Tobias waited for me to go first and followed me up, keeping close to me the entire time.

By the time we reached the top the three of us collapsed on the broken pavement, heaving and all struggling for air.

"I thought I had you with that hill man. You've obviously been keeping up with your fitness" Zeke said in between puffs.

Tobias didn't move, just kept his eyes closed and concentrated on his breathing. "I kept busy" was all he said. Once the three of us had recovered we started back towards the compound. We still had a group training session to get to, and I was planning on using today as a good excuse to run fitness profiles to see if they could be eligible for the ER teams I was selecting. I briefly wondered if Zeke had asked Tobias to join us for that too.

We rounded the last corner, and as always, Christina, Uriah and Edward were all waiting for us. Christina just arched am eyebrow at me as the three of us approached. Clearly she wasn't in on Zeke's little, 'nudge' mission with me and Tobias.

"Take you sweet ass time? We've been waiting for ages" Christina whinged.

"He made us run up that fucking hill, I sware I can't feel the balls of my feet" I said as I bounced up and down on them to prove my point.

"You got all the way up? In one go?" Edward asked, clearly surprised.

"She smashed it" Zeke said proudly.

Edward put his arm up for me to high five, which I returned with enough force for him to grimace.

 _(Tobias)_

I couldn't help how much it annoyed me that Edward was part of this group. He clearly had intentions with Tris, which she either seemed oblivious to or was trying to ignore to avoid him embarrassment. Either way, I didn't like it one bit. My face must have given me away because Uriah was suddenly standing next to me, stretching out his arms with a huge Uriah grin plastered on his face.

"You're gonna love this Four, it's like hell, only way worse."

"Can't wait" I grinned back at him. I took a look around the training room I once called home. It was the same old room, open and vast, but the equipment had changed. No longer were there old used out dated equipment, from where I stood I could see brand new sets of rowing machines, treadmills, punching bags which all had a touch panel attached to the sides of them. Around the outside of the room looked like a running track. Zeke had done well.

"Where'd all this come from?" I asked Uriah as he continued to stretch next to me.

"Ah, well, it seems Erudite were keeping all the fun technology to themselves"

That didn't surprise me. Everything in the room looked state of the art and I started to wonder how well I would do in this session, it had been a while since I had punched something that didn't have a heartbeat.

I could see Zeke and Tris in one corner of the room deep in conversation, Zeke doing most the talking then he suddenly pointed in my direction. Tris nodded her head and left Zeke to join Christina and Edward stretching in the centre of the room. Zeke walked briskly over to me, tablet in one hand and an injector in the other.

"You'll need this" He held out the injector to me. I shrugged and held out my left forearm. Zeke quickly injected whatever it was and smiled.

"Physical tracker" He said while showing me the tablet he was holding. On the screen was listed what seemed to be everyone in the training room, their vitals, averages and scores on different activities.

"Nice" I said, clearly impressed. "How do you even the playing field?"

"That's the beauty of it. It takes hight, weight, muscle mass, age and gender all into account and automatically adjusts the results."

"High tech"

"I recruited some of the Erudite geeks to help me design the perfect programme" He said while kissing the tablet. I rolled my eyes at him.

"You ready?"

We both joined the rest of the members in the centre of the room.

"Okay, welcome to Team Elite. If you are here, you ranked in the top 8 of your initiation class, it also means you're here to work, and work you will. In this room I am judge, jury and executioner. You do what I ask, when I ask, you don't give up and you don't give lip about it, or I'll throw your ass out of here so quick you'll go crying to your mammas." Zeke paced up the front of the group, back and forth, back and forth.

I took this time to watch Tris. She was still next to Edward and I once again felt my blood boil as he whispered something to her and she tried to stifle a giggle. If I did anything today, it would be to kick Edward's ass in the rankings. I tried to turn my attention back to Zeke who was still pacing and speaking.

"In conjunction with competing for the top spot, and of course bragging rights, you'll be tested on your fitness and physical ability. We are changing things up a bit today, leadership have informed me that they are seeking members to join the new emergency response teams, and their first point of call is this training group. So, if your too much of a pansycake for that, then there's the door" Zeke dramatically pointed towards the training room door. He paused for effect and glanced over the group, no one moved. I glanced at Tris, she had clearly been looking at me because she turned her eyes and her head in the other direction, but not before I saw the blush of pink spread across her cheeks.

It was good to know I could still affect her the way she affected me. I took a few deep breaths to cool my heartbeat and forced myself back to focus on Zeke. "Okay, then let's get this party started. Ladies… to the fast track."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 _(Tobias)_

Uriah wasn't kidding about this being hell. It wasn't the hardest work out I've ever done, but it was close. I had to admit by the time we rounded the final challenge I was thoroughly exhausted, as were most people. To my annoyance Edward had managed to keep up with my pace on the rowing machine, and I was dying to know if I had managed to get ahead of him in the rankings, however Zeke was keeping that information close to his chest. The fast track was my groups' last activity, and I wasn't sure I could beat Edward, after all he was younger, stronger. When my turn came round I took several deep breaths at the start line and ran. I ran as fast as my fatigued muscle would carry me and as I crossed the finish line the smirk on Zeke's face let me know I had made a decent time. I grabbed a bottle of water and glanced around the room. Tris was watching me from her station on the treadmill. I wondered how long she had watching for.

There were just 2 more runners to go before everyone had completed all the set routines and we would find out the days rankings. Once they were done everyone mulled around Zeke in the centre of the room. It was the first time I noticed the score board hanging on the far side of the room, it was large and clear with numbers from 1 to 40.

"Alright, boys and girls, well done. Today was defiantly one of our more challenging days, but I managed to get some amazing data on everyone, and I'll be sure to submit this to the leadership team in regards to the ER teams."

"Bro, just get to the rankings already" Uriah quipped while wiping sweat off his brow with a towel.

Zeke rolled his eyes. "As you know, the top two ranked members get to battle it out for glory in the ring."

I puffed I wasn't sure if I was up for an old school beat down with Edward right now. Zeke pushed a few buttons on his tablet and the score board came to life. It took me a moment to realize my name was defiantly on there. I smirked to myself because it sat proudly in first position.

"Fuck you Four, I've been trying to get that spot for weeks, and you nail it on your first day" Uriah smacked me hard in the shoulder. I glanced back at the board, Edward had come in third which made me snort, and Tris, Tris' name was sitting in second place. My heart swelled with pride. I had caught glimpses of her during the session and she was amazing. She nailed every apparatus confidently.

"Well that's fucked" I heard from behind me, and spun to see Christina standing next to Tris who was sitting on a pile of gym mats. She narrowed her eyes at Zeke and suddenly my stomach dropped. Zeke said the top two ranked members had to fight. There was no way I was going to lay a finger on her, but if we had to do this I could be man enough to take her hits, it's the least I could do.

"I forfeit, he can keep it" She said while lowering herself off the gym mats and jogging out the door. I threw a look at Zeke who looked just as confused as me. My curiosity got the better of me and I suddenly found myself following her steps out. I caught up to her just as she ended the hallway.

"What the fuck was that? Since when did you ever concede?" I asked, annoyed that she would just give up that easily. She spun around to meet me, a few feet separating us.

"I'm not going to fight a one sided fight Four" The use of my nickname on her lips hurt. "You and I both know you'd never hurt me, not now, never ever" her voice was strong and sure, like she was reciting from a text book. I dropped my eyes to the ground. How, after all this time, after all we'd seen, all we'd done, how could she still believe I wasn't my father spitting image. In this moment, under the strong gaze I felt weak and needy.

"How…" I started my voice shaky. "How can you be sure" I lifted my eyes up to hers, they were still blue and grey but looked defiant. A look I had seen so many times in her before. I saw her shoulders drop as she released a breath of air and she took a few steps towards me. I was frozen on the spot, her gaze keeping my grounded.

She stood directly in front of me, I could smell peaches and a faintest hint of girl sweat. Tris raised her hand and placed it on my stubbly cheek, cradling my face. I leant into her touch, it had been so long since we were like this and it felt amazing.

"Tobias" She said my name softly. "I wish you could see yourself though my eyes." Her eyes were soft and clear and I couldn't help crashing my lips into hers and kissing her with every ouch of energy I had left. I half expected her to push me away, but she leaned up on her toes giving me better access to her mouth and slid her arms around my neck. This kiss was full of longing, full of fear, but most of all, this kiss was full of hope.

She was the first to pull away, her arms leaving my neck as she took a step back.

"I have to shower" she said before taking off back down the hallway.

 _(Tris)_

I got down the end of the hallway and turned left towards Uriah and Christina's apartment, but I hesitated for a moment. I didn't want talk to anyone, I didn't need a trillion questions thrown at me. A shower is what I needed, what I desperately wanted; Hot water and time to myself to think about what just happened. I spun on my heels and headed back towards the main door and the elevator that lead up to the Pier. I got off on the upper levels and headed towards the west wing, namely to apartment 106. My apartment.

I hadn't been here in months, but I was hoping it would be the last place they looked for me, giving me enough time to shower in peace and mentally vomit up the thoughts my brain was trying very hard to keep at bay. I push my thumb to the plate on the door and the door automatically unlocked. As far as I knew I was the only one with access to this place so I wasn't surprised when I flicked on the lights and everything was the same as the day I had left it.

The main room was large and open, with an entire wall of glass overlooking the city. From here you could see all the way to the fence. To my immediate left was the small kitchen, it still sat completely empty and unused. The centre of the room housed a large plush white couch facing a modest sized TV which hung on the adjacent wall. The door to the left of the room was the guest bedroom and ensuite and the door to the right was the master bedroom and ensuite.

My need for a hot shower was outweighing my need to open any windows or curtains so I headed straight to the master bedroom. The king sized bed in the room was still covered in it's plastic wrapping and there were boxes strewn though out the room. I barely owned two outfits and some personal items during initiation, so I wondered what was in them. I wasn't really surprised when I opened the first one to find clothes, an entire box of clothes, sent up here by Christina no doubt. I counted 7 more boxes in the room, surely not all of them contained clothes? I rummaged more thought the first box and found an entire outfit that looked comfortable enough, jeans, and a black cotton v-neck top. I found the box marked 'linen' and opened it up to find a white fluffy towel and headed into the bathroom. I had to flick a few different switches on the panel before I found the main light. Thankfully there were a few different shampoos and body washes sitting on the basin, I silently thanked Christina for her incessant over sharing when it came to toiletries and fashion and turned on the shower. I tested it to make sure I had the right temperature before I stripped out of my training clothes and stepped under the hot stream of water.

It took me a long time to just relax and enjoy the water, once I did I let the flood gates in my brain open and Tobias and the kiss we shared came flooding in. There was no way Tobias was ever going to get into a fight with me, for fun or not, I had complete confidence that he would never raise a hand to me. The look he had when he asked me how I could be so sure was so pained and scared. How could he ever think he would ever hurt me like that?

I didn't need to look far for a reason why he thought so little of himself. His father was a monstrous man, but that wasn't who Tobias was, or ever would be, he had to know that, right?

The hot water wasn't so comforting now that I began to think more and more. Was this the reason Tobias left in the first place? The note he left me suddenly flashes in my head, _'You're safer without me Tris'_. I shook my head and shut off the water.

I got out and slowly dried and dressed, I wasn't in a hurry because I knew what I had to do. It was time to confront him, to find out the reason he left. I rummaged through another box and found a coat. I shut off all the lights and closed the door behind me. I took a few deep breaths and headed down into the Pit.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: So here's another update. I know a lot of you are waiting for Tris and Tobias to get back together, they will, I promise, but it's not as easy as that. There is a lot of back story with Tris that will be brought to light soon, and there is a lot of trust to be built back up between the two. Don't worry, there will be some fluff, but it won't be too OTT.

Also, it's been months since I've re-read the books and between then I've seen Insurgent of course when it was released, so when I write, I write visualising Tho and Shai as the characters, so if I'm off with descriptions from the book it's because in my head Tris and Tobias are Theo and Shai (Sheo is real I tell you! Real!)

Okay, Fangirl rant over. Someone introduced me to Tumblr recently, so go follow me over there: gingermninja – I can't promise to know how to use it yet, but I'm working on it.

I give you, Chapter 9 (sorry it's short and a bit of a filler)

Chapter 9

 _(Tobias)_

An hour later I was showered, dressed and sitting in Tori's office. I hadn't stopped thinking about Tris and the way her lips always fit so perfectly to mine. It was defiantly a 'in the moment' kiss and I was starting to wonder if I needed to apologise. It wasn't fair of me to force it, but she did kiss me back where she could have just as easily punched me in the face. I know she missed me as much as I missed her, I could feel it in the way her body frantically pressed against mine.

"That's basically it, do you have any questions?" Tori asked. She had been giving me a run down on the more predominate changes since the war ended. I had to admit, I was proud of everyone involved, Dauntless had returned to some of its' original roots, but with more freedom for members and outsiders.

I shook my head at Tori and started to mess around with the tablet she had handed me earlier. The messenger icon was new and I noticed there were hundreds of names in the address book. I quickly flicked down to the 'T's and found Tris. I contemplated sending her a message, apologising for kissing her earlier, but a message, it just didn't seem right.

"Now this thing with Tris" Tori managed to grab my attention again. "Is it going to be a problem? Because she's just been placed back on active duties and I really don't want to have to revoke them again because you guys are having a lovers fight" Tori was staring at me from across her desk.

I rubbed my temples, things with Tris were so complicated I didn't even know how to start to mend our relationship.

"Revoked? Why?" I questioned. Tori's eyes widen and I knew there was more to it.

"She was injured Four, her body was riddled with bullets, you don't just come out of the other side of that fully intact. She had heaps of physical therapy, and surgical appointments, we all wanted to make sure she just focused on getting better, so we took her leadership status away. Temporarily of course, she pretty amazing Four. You should have seen her battle it out with your mother" I opened my mouth in shock for a moment. "Words" Tori was quick to add, "With words of course. Tris just has this positive presence about her, and she's passionate in a way I could never be. She's taught me a lot about the person I want to be and about the faction I want to leave a legacy too."

He didn't need to be told how amazing Tris was, he felt it in every look, every subtle touch, in everything she did before the war, during, and apparently after. All I could do was nod.

"It's complicated"

"Well, uncomplicated it. If you two can't work together then I'm up a creek with no paddle."

"It's not like I'm not working on it Tori" I said frustrated. Seems like everyone wanted to get involved in my love life.

Tori just sighed, "She's been thought a lot Four, give her time"

"I'm trying"

"You should head down to the Pit, make sure it's not getting too crazy" I took that as a dismissal, picked up my tablet and closed the door to Tori's office behind me.

The Pit tonight was starting to fill up quick and as I looked around I noticed some familiar faces, some not. I kept to the edges, keeping an eye on things in general. It wasn't long before I felt a hand on my arm.

"Tobias?"

"Evelyn?" I asked shocked.

"So the rumours are true, your back!" She enveloped me in a hug which I tried to return as enthusiastically.

"Can we go somewhere, talk?" She asked. I owed her that, I had run out on her also. We had just mended our very rocky relationship and I took off before we could even start over again.

I nodded and lead her towards my apartment. I still wasn't used to having people inside my apartment, so the presence of a couch was lacking, I made a mental note to fix that sooner rather than later. We settled for leaning on the kitchenette counter top.

"I got your letter. Sounds like you had quite the trip"

"Places outside the fence are… strange" The conversation felt awkward. I had written to my mother the same as Zeke, to tell her I was okay, and I was travelling, and also that I was coming home.

"So you're back for good then?" She asked while running her finger over the kitchen counter, clearly unimpressed by the amount of dust covering her finger.

"Yes"

"Good" She smiled. "I was surprised to hear you came back here, you know there's always a place for you with me. They would welcome you with open arms after everything you did for us during the war." My mother had headed up a faction of her own after the population voted to keep the factions, she had no choice but to follow the new constitution. However she did mange to stay leader of her own faction, FLU, Factionless United. From what I had heard they were all very headstrong members and I wonder just how long peace would really last our city again.

"Thankyou for the offer, but Dauntless is my home"

"Please tell me you didn't just come back here for her?" The way she always spoke about Tris rubbed me the wrong way.

"And if I did, it's none of your business" I said clearly annoyed. She went to answer but was cut off by a knock at the door. I pushed myself off the counter and went to answer it.

"Tris" I said breathlessly. She was the last person I expected to see at my door.

"Hi" She said unsure. "Um, can we…"

"Beatrice, so good to see you" Evelyn had made her way to the door and now stood next to me.

Tris exhaled the breath she was holding and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, an expression of hers' I adored, and my fingers itched with the need to release that lip and press my own to hers.

"Sorry, I, um, I didn't know you" She sounded flustered.

"Evelyn was just leaving" I said quickly.

"No I wasn't" Evelyn chimed in.

"I'll, um" She shook her head. "Later" was all she said and before I knew what happened she ran off down the hall and out of my view.

"Fuck" I muttered.

"Oh dear, so things aren't going well I see?"

"Evelyn" I warned. She put her hands up to show me she would back off. "Yes I'm back, I'm not going anywhere, and if you want to stay in my life then I suggest you back off. Now if you don't mind" I started to usher her towards the door. I was in a hurry to find Tris.

"Well, if things don't work out, you know where I am" She leant in and hugged me again, this time I didn't return it. I closed the door on her and quickly picked up my tablet. I had no idea where Tris even lived, except with Christina in the west wing. I quickly logged in and opened the members' profiles list, which only leadership had access too. This was of course an abuse of my power, but I didn't care right now. I looked for Christina's name and found her apartment number, picked up my jacket and raced out the door.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Another short one, I'm sorry, I'm going somwhere with all this, I promise.

Chapter 10

 _(Tris)_

Seeing Evelyn again brought back the last time I had seen her. It was the first day I had come back to the city, and she had gloated to me that she had received letter from Tobias telling her all the exciting things he had been doing and how much of a wonderful time he was having without me. That she was right, I was only temporary in his life and that clearly our relationship meant nothing if he could so easily leave me. I hated that woman.

I felt completely deflated after seeing her Tobias'. I had planned on confronting Tobias about where he'd been, why he came back, why he left. But all my confidence had faded as soon as I saw Evelyn and I was back to being sad.

I didn't want to go home, I didn't want to face Christina or Uriah, all I wanted to do was sleep, so I headed back up the elevator to the Pier and back to apartment 106. This time I took the time to open the curtains on the far wall, letting the last of sunlight thought the glass wall. The sun felt warm on my face.

I went into my bedroom and pulled the plastic wrap off the bed. I emptied the box full of linen and made the bed. Christina had picked out yellow and white bedding, which I actually didn't mind. It sort of reminded me of these tiny little yellow flowers that used to grow wild in Abnegation. I fluffed up a pillow and set it at the head of the bed. I looked around the room, it almost looked lived in now. I peeled back the covers and slid in, it didn't take long for my eyes to close and sleep to take me.

There wasn't a clock in the room so when I woke I wasn't sure how long I had slept. The only indication was the moon light streaming in through the main living room where I had left the curtains opened. I felt awake and relaxed. Sleeping in this bed wasn't bad so bad, it was actually pretty comfortable. I yawned and stretched out my limbs and just lay there, until my need for the toilet forced me up. I headed to the bathroom, washed my hands and washed the sleep from my face. It was so quiet up here, nothing like living with Uriah and Christina. Maybe I could do this on my own for a while, live like an adult, without all the babysitters? Would they let me?

Fuck them. I was an adult, my own person and if I felt I was ready to do this on my own then that's what I would do. I left the apartment and headed back down towards Uriah and Christina's apartment. The front door was unlocked, which I was grateful for, during the course of the day I had misplaced my keys and tablet. As I entered the apartment I noticed the lost items sitting on the entry table, at least someone had found them. I scooped them up and headed towards my room, but before I got to the door Christian barged out from the kitchen and blocked my path.

"Tris! What. The. Fuck?" She practically screamed at me. "Where have you been?" I cringed at her tone, but it didn't soften my resolve to do what I had planned to do.

"I had a shower, had a nap, it was all very relaxing" I said sarcastically to her.

Christina's mouth just hung open and I pushed past her and into the kitchen. Bad idea, because at the kitchen table sat Zeke, Uriah and Tobias.

"Oh look a welcoming committee" I threw at them while heading towards the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water.

"Tris" Zeke sighed.

"Look, don't even start okay. I just wanted a shower, in peace and quiet, so I went upstairs."

"Upstairs? As in 106?" Uriah questioned. Christina had managed to get over herself and had re-entered the kitchen.

"Yup"

The room was silent, everyone just looked at me.

I signed and leaned against the wall. "What? You guys have been telling me for months that I need to take my life back, well this is me starting to. Stop worrying, I got this." I took a swig of water and left the kitchen to my room. In the closet I found the few boxes that I had brought down when I first came to live with Uriah and Christina. I was attempting to get them down when the four of them piled in. Uriah fell face first onto my bed, while Christina began to straighten the clock and lamp on my bedside table. Zeke hovered by the bathroom door and Tobias just stood in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" Zeke asked in an amused voice.

"Writing a sonnet. What does it look like? Packing." I tuned my attention back to the boxes. "Hate being short" I muttered. Suddenly two arms appeared over my head and reached the first box brining it down behind me. Tobias stood with the empty box in his hands. I smiled at him and took the box.

Zeke began to laugh from his spot near the bathroom.

"What?" I asked annoyed.

"Finally… just finally you've decided to join the real world, Prior. I'm proud." I threw him dirty look and put the box on the bed knocking Uriah's feet out of the way. Zeke picked up the pile of books on the dresser and placed it in the box while

Tobias retrieved the next 2 boxes down from the closet. Christina filled a box with my clothes and then headed to the bathroom for my other belongings. It didn't take long to fill the three boxes, and soon enough the five of us where heading up the Pier. Zeke, Tobias and Uriah all carrying a box each while Christina and I led the way.

"You know you don't have to do this right?" Christian said

"I sort of do" I responded. She hooked her arm around me.

"I'm going to miss you, you know"

"Yeah, miss babysitting the Stiff, sure" I snorted and she leaned her head on my shoulder.

I pressed my thumb to the plate and opened the door to my apartment. Every shuffled in and the boys put the boxes down on the kitchen counter.

Christina headed straight to my bedroom, to unpack my closet I'm assuming while Uriah plopped down on the couch and fiddled with the remote control for the TV.

Zeke whistled while walking around the living area.

"Nice digs, so this is what you get for saving the city huh?"

"Yeah, all it takes is a body full of bullets and a head full of nightmares" I rolled my eyes at him.

Tobias hadn't moved from his place in the kitchen. He hadn't physically moved, but his eyes hadn't stopped following me.

Uriah gave up on the remote and stood up.

"Moving sucks, time for beers" He said rubbing his hands together enthusiastically. "Yo, Chris, come on beer time girl"

Christina returned from the bedroom. "Okay, but I'm coming back to fix up that bomb site tomorrow" she waved her hand at my bedroom door dramatically. "At least you made the bed" she threw at me. Zeke, Uriah and Christina all headed towards the door, Tobias still didn't move, and neither did I.

Christina looked back at the both of us and raised her eyebrow.

"We'll catch up with you" I said. Christina hesitated, but must have decided I was in safe hands because she followed Uriah out the door and closed it behind her.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: 3 updates in 1 day! You guys are lucky! The long awaited show down. Like I said earlier, this isn't just going to fix things, that is still a way off, I am no where near done with this story. Remember reviews make me write!

Chapter 11

 _(Tobias)_

Once Christina closed the door it was just us, finally. I shifted uncomfortably from my left foot to my right foot and looked at Tris. As expected she bit her lower lip between her teeth. She turned around and headed towards the main living area. I followed.

"Sit down" she commanded. I was in no position to argue, so I did as I was told and took a hesitate seat on the couch.

"You wanted to talk?" I asked hopeful.

"Yes. But… I… there are rules."

"Okay" I urged her to go on. I could handle this, if she was finally ready to talk then I was not going to fuck this up.

"I'm going to ask you questions, and I want you to answer them truthfully, and I don't want you to leave anything out, okay?" She paced back and forth in front of me nervously. I wasn't sure I had ever been this nervous before, not even the first time I kissed her, not even the first time we were completely intimate with each other. I swallowed to lump that had developed in my throat.

"Okay"

"Where were you?" It wasn't the first question I was expecting. I had been expecting the Why not the Where.

"I travelled though a lot of cities, New York mainly; you'd like it there, lots of very tall buildings." She shot me a look then continued to pace. "I ended up in Baltimore for a while." She stoped pacing and seemed to consider my answer.

"How did you even, survive?" She looked more confused now than anything. Trust her Erudite brain to thinking about the logistics of it all. She wanted the truth, so I wasn't going to hold back, even tho I'm pretty sure she isn't going to like the answer.

"I hitched rides mostly between towns, and made money fighting in shady cage fights." Tris stopped pacing and looked at me with surprise; I was desperately hoping the surprise didn't turn to disgust. It didn't. Tris continued to pace silently. For a moment I thought that was it, she was done with her interrogation, but I was wrong. Tris stopped and faced me, a tiny tear had worked it way out of her eye and was skimming slowly down her left cheek. I wanted to punch myself for making her cry.

"Why?" she asked quietly, her eyes welling up even more. I couldn't stand to see her beautiful eyes full of unshed tears so I dropped my head in my hands. This was the question I dreaded the most, the question I thought she would have led with, but now I see she was trying to build up the courage to ask it, I wondered why she was so afraid of the answer.

"It's a long story" I muttered. Not the right answer, but all I could muster while she looked like that.

"Do I need to refer you back to the rules?" Her voice raising in tone.

"Will you at least sit down, please?" Tris moved to the side of the room and took a seat at the other end of the couch, turning her body so she was looking at me. I didn't move. I wasn't sure I could keep my hands off her if I looked at her right now. My insides were churning and I desperately wanted to kiss away her tears.

"Because I was afraid" I said simply.

"Everyone's afraid" She countered. We had had this conversation before, but it was about her fear, not mine.

"I didn't trust myself, to be with you, to be around you, to not turn into my father"

"Tobias" she said my name and it gave me the strength to go on.

"A few days after you were shot, the doctors had you stabilised and in an included medical coma. I barely left your side, but had to find Christina to update her, on my way to find her I ran into Caleb." I rested my elbows on my knees and held my head with both hands. I still hadn't dared to look at her. "He was angry I guess, angry that you took his place, angry that you were fighting for your life, angry that his whole life had been a lie. He said some things to me, about how he could see me turning into Marcus, how he could see me hurting you, how he didn't trust me and neither should you."

"Caleb's an idiot" she said simply. I snorted in agreement. So far she hadn't stormed out, she hadn't slapped me, she hadn't really done much except cry, pace and now sit.

"You had a team of doctors checking on you, so I left Christina with you and headed back here to the city. Everything was still chaos, but I didn't care, I came back here for one purpose."

"Your fear landscape?" She asked. She had an amazing mind and her abilities never cease to amaze me.

"Yeah" I said while I fished around my pocket once again for the USB drive. "This" I held it up "Is what I saw" I placed it on the coffee table and slid it towards her. I took this moment to look at her while she looked at the USB on the table. Her tears had stopped thankfully but her eyes still glistened. She had one leg tucked underneath herself on the couch.

"I can't ever bring myself to see what's on there ever, ever again" I said standing up. "You know where you can find me, if you want to have anything to do with me after you see what's on it" I said, feeling disgusted with myself. I headed back towards her front door.

"Tobias" She called. "Your mother, she's gone right?"

"Yes, I don't expect to see her anytime soon"

"Good." Tris nodded and I slipped out the door and down the hall. I had done the hard part, it was now up to Tris. If she trusted me enough, if we could get past my fear, together, maybe there was hope for our future.

I didn't have high hopes that I would be seeing Tris again tonight, or even in the near future, but just in case I headed straight back to my apartment, and I planned on staying there all night, just in case. I jumped in the shower quickly, trying to scrub off the distress and nervousness of my conversation with Tris. I changed into clean pants and left the bathroom to find a t-shirt, I hadn't expected to see Tris sitting crossed legged on my bed.

"Sorry, the door was unlocked" She said after a long moment of the two of us staring at each other, Tris' eyes dropping over my half clothed body.

"It's okay" I said. I was having trouble hiding my shock at seeing her. My brain caught up slowly and I walked to my closet to find a shirt. Plan, black v-neck was the first thing I found so I threw it on and returned to where Tris was sitting. Once again I mentally slapped myself for the lack of seating in my apartment. I settled for leaning on the nearby utility table, trying my best to not show how nervous I was.

I noticed Tris held the USB drive in her hands, turning it over and over in her hands. I half expected her to tell me she hadn't watched it, and was here to return it and be rid of me in her life.

"Same rules apply" She said. I nodded and awaited her line of questioning.

"I'm not going to lie. This" She held the USB in her hand still. "It's pretty full on. But Tobias, this isn't you. How could you even think that?"

I shrugged. "There's things I've done, things I'm not proud of"

"We were in a war, we've all did things, saw things" She spoke quietly and it reminded me just how tormented she felt about it all.

I shrugged again; I wasn't explaining this very well. "Anger doesn't sit well with me."

"And it does me?" She fired back. "Its' how you act on that anger Tobias, you're a better man than you give yourself credit for."

"How can you be so sure? How can you be so sure I won't hurt you… hurt" I trailed off. I couldn't bring the words to form.

"Our children?" she finished for me. I knew my face gave away the pain I was feeling but I didn't care.

"Why did you come back?" She asked, her eyes so instant, just like the day I met her.

"Because living, it isn't living if I don't have you in my life"

"You came back for me?" a small smiled graced her face.

"I came back for you, for what our future could be, but…"

"But what?" She pushed.

"I still don't trust myself, that fear, that's still there" Tris finally moved, she uncrossed her legs and swung them over the side of the bed, leaving the USB next to her. She stood up and crossed the room to where I leant against the table. Her palm came into contact with my face as it had done earlier.

"You should work on that" She said and placed a chaste and swift kiss to my cheek. "Morning run start at 5.40am, don't be late or Zeke will yell" and with that she left my apartment and left me breathless.


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Yay for reviews! They make my day so keep them coming, pretty please. Yep, I'm not below begging at all.

To my ConstantGuest reviewer, you may have hit the nail on the head, remember I said I was no where near finished with this story, it will all be told as time goes on. I'm trying to give the characters space to reconnect again. Tris will tell Tobias what happened while he was gone, but not just yet, it's going to be a heavy chapter and I'm trying to psych myself to write it by writing bits of fluff in the mean time. Thanks for your constant reviews and enjoy Chapter 12.

Chapter 12

 _(Tris)_

The rest of the week went by painfully slow. I really enjoyed living on my own again, and setting up my apartment, which was keeping me busy. Tobias had joined us each morning for our run and also during each of my private training session with Zeke. Tobias and I had managed to implement a unspoken agreement, which mainly consisted of small talk and Tobias reminding me to breath during drills.

Things didn't really change until Wednesday morning when Zeke had me in the ring working on kicking drills. He was standing square on in front of me holding a kick bag instructing me on my high kick, something I still wasn't very good at. I glanced around the room quickly and saw Tobias working on a rowing machine. I watched intently as his arms muscles constricted under his shirt, his eyes trained on the monitor in front of him, a light line of sweat had formed on his forehead. Parts of my body were involuntarily lusting towards him, and images of the last time we were together that way danced around in my head.

"Yo, Tris, we dong this?" Zeke's voice brought me back to reality. I quickly turned away from Tobias, a slight blush creeping up my neck I was sure.

My first attempt I missed the bag and clipped Zeke's upper arm, the second time I missed the bag completely and ended up flat on my back on the floor of the gym looking up at the ceiling. I heard a slight chuckle from behind me and tilted my head backwards to see Tobias standing next to the ring. The blush returned to my face as I got up off the floor.

"What?" I questioned annoyed.

"Strength is just as important as technique" he said, with a hint of his old instructor tone. Then glaring at Zeke, "What exactly are you teaching her?"

"Hey, man, you think you can do better, be my guest" Zeke gestured towards me with one hand.

Tobias entered the ring and I inhaled sharply. Zeke went to move out of the ring, until Tobias' hand on his shoulder kept him in place.

"Don't go anywhere kick bag, we are going to need you" Zeke nodded and held his place firmly back in front of me.

Tobias moved towards me and I had to chastise myself to even out my breathing before he noticed.

"Technique comes from training your muscles to move with the rest of your body. Remember to keep tension here." And just as he had done during my initiation training, he laid his hand flat across my stomach causing me to cease breathing altogether. I bit my bottom lip as his body moulded to mine, his chest flush with my back.

"Breath Tris" He instructed and I slowly inhaled thought my nose. "Muscle isn't your problem this time" He said as his hands slid down my sides and fitted themselves to my hips. "Okay, we're going to do this slowly a few times, alternating legs, starting with the right, okay?" His lips were brushed up against my ear, his breath tickling my neck. I nodded, not trusting my voice enough to speak.

Tobias right hand dropped to my right thigh and I instinctually raised it and rotated to slowly meet the bag Zeke was still holding in place. Tobias shifted his weight and body with me, still perfectly moulded to mine, his fingers traced the muscles on the outside of my thigh as my foot hovered at what I thought would be Zeke's throat hidden behind the bag.

It still didn't feel right and I shifted slightly before Tobias' other hand was placed back on my stomach.

"Tension Tris" He reminded me, his tone fully returning to the one he used during initiation. I concentrated and locked on my core as hard as possible and suddenly the movement felt seamless, my leg rotated perfectly and my foot hit it's mark on the bag.

"Good, again, a little higher this time" Tobias said as he moved his hand back to my upper thigh. I performed the kick again effortlessly.

"Good, again, quicker this time" this time Tobias' hands left me all together, as did his body and I instantly missed his warmth. He took a step back and watched as I performed the kick again, quicker, making hard contact with the bag this time, and send sending Zeke into the barriers behind him.

I looked at Tobias for approval, "Perfect" he grinned at me. We ran thought the set another two times before Zeke had me run the fast track for a warm down. I could see Zeke and Tobias talking in the ring, as I rounded for my second lap, Zeke was laughing and Tobias was shaking his head. I tried to put the feeling of Tobias' hands on my body out of my mind, but it wasn't working.

"Yo, grasshopper" Zeke called out to me while he and Tobias left the ring.

"So, chasm tonight?" He asked.

"Huh?" I barely responded, bending over with my hands on my knees for support while I attempted to catch my breath.

"Chasm, drinks, shits and giggles, oh and I got an announcement to make" He grinned at me. I looked between Zeke and Tobias not really sure who he was talking to. "Come on, I need you both to be there"

Tobias looked at me, his eyebrow raised in a silent question.

"Yeah yeah, we'll be there. Shower, food and nap first." I waved Zeke off while I continued to struggle to even my breathing.

"Excellent, I'll leave you guys to it" He smirked at both of us while retreating out of the training room. Before he got to the door he tuned back to us.

"Ah Tris?"

"What?" I asked annoyed

"We just got him back, don't kill him, okay?" I rolled my eyes at him, but couldn't help the small smile that made it's way to my face.

"I won't make any promises" Zeke flashed us both a huge smile and slipped out the door.

The room is suddenly quiet and I'm all too aware of Tobias' presence right in front of me. My heart was hammering in my chest and I could sware I could still feel heat on my body in all the places he had touched me earlier. I will my heart to slow down so I can concentrate on forming words.

"Thanks" I say. "For the workout" I add, too quickly.

Tobias' lips twitch up in a small smile and he nods. "Anytime, grasshopper". I give him a small smile and shake my head.

"That's not what you used to call me" I say referring to the numerical nickname he gave me after my final fear landscape. I see him visibly swallow, a nervous sign. I smirk to myself, it's good to know I can still affect him the way he affects me.

"Things aren't the same as they were back then" he says quietly dropped his head and eyes to the mat below our feet.

"I'm not the same the girl you feel in love with Tobias" I say simply. His head snaps up and his eyes bore into mine like he's testing me, testing to see if I'm lying to him. It's like a bullet though my heart, but I understand why he does it.

"I don't care how much you think you've changed, you'll always be the girl I'm in love with" he says, his eyes never leaving mine.

I squeeze my eyes closed tightly and will myself not to cry. I know I'm not worthy of that love, and once I forced to tell him the truth, I'm terrified he won't look at me the same.

I open my mouth to say so, but I stop myself. Right now isn't the time, I'm not ready, we're both exhausted, and once again I'm in dire need of a shower. I turn to walk about before the first tear falls.

"I'll see you tonight right?" He asks before I reach the door. I turn back and smile softly.

"I'll be there" and I reach for the door and slip out into the hallway just as the first tear hits my cheek.

AN: I'm sorry this is a bit of a short chapter, but I've wanted to add in this training scene into a story for a while.


	13. Chapter 13

AN: This is a slightly short chapter, but I've pre-written another two so those will be uploaded this weekend . (It's the weekend here in Australia!)

Chapter 13

 _(Tobias)_

It takes me a while to make my way down the path to the chasm. I've spent the last few hours trying my best to sleep, but only ended up staring at the ceiling going over what Tris said to me earlier. It was clear to me she wasn't the same girl I left broken and bloody in a hospital bed, though I know she wasn't referring to herself physically. I wish she would open up to me like I had with her, but I know I can't expect that after leaving the way I did. I needed to regain her trust. I just wasn't sure how I was going to do that.

By the time I entered the clearing of the chasm, my mind was once again swimming with Tris. I tried to push her from my thoughts and concentrate on the people around me. Zeke and Shauna were by the small table Zeke kept down here, it was covered in all kinds of drinks, some of which I had never seen.

"Four! I thought you bailed on us" Zeke said as came over and smacked me hard on the shoulder.

"Sorry, I, uh, got caught up" I said a little sheepishly while Zeke shoved a beer in my hand. I took sip had a quick glance around. Uriah, Tori, Lauren were chatting by the edge of the flat rock we all stood on close to the chasm drop. I heard Christina's laugh before I spotted her, she stood with her back to me, facing Edward and Tris who sat next to each other on a large rock. I squeezed my beer tighter and tried not to think about how close they were. Zeke had insisted on numerous occasions they were just friends, that Tris had made it clear she wasn't interested in Edward, yet it still annoyed me that even with my presences back here at Dauntless, Edward was still trying to steal my girl right out from under me. We may not be together just yet, but she owned my heart and I was going to do everything in my power to make things right between us again.

I tore my eyes off them and retuned to Zeke and Shauna and my beer. "So, what's all this about?" I asked. Uriah must have heard me because he slid up besides his brother and dropped his arm around him.

"Yeah, what's with the secrecy bro?"

Zeke looked around and then to Shauna who sat comfortably in a deck chair, and it occurred to me that Zeke must have carried her down here. "Well everyone's here so we might as well get down to celebrating" Zeke said in a loud enough voice to get everyone's attention. He had a huge grin plastered on his face and I was starting to wonder where all this was going.

"Celebrating what?" Uriah was the first to ask what we were all thinking.

"My impending fatherhood" Zeke said with the biggest smile I had ever seen him wear.

Everyone was silent for a long second. "What?!" Uriah questioned again, giving Shauna a drunken goofy look.

Shauna snorted a laugh back "I'm totally pregnant" She confirmed and it brought everyone out of their initial shock. Tori was the first to reach Shauna and pulled her into hug.

Uriah had his brother in a head lock instantly "Imma be an uncle! Uncle Uri! Coolest uncle ever!"

"Easy on the hair bro" Zeke said trying to wrestle out of his head lock.

I smiled at the scene before me. Everyone was milling around Shauna, passing on congratulations and hugs. This was a happy moment, a happy moment amongst all the pain and death caused by the war, this was just confirmation that we were on the other side, healing, mending.

I pushed my way past the duelling brothers to where Shauna sat in her chair and waited a moment for a opening to lean down and kiss her cheek lightly.

"You are one brave woman, your going to make one amazing mother" I say into her ear so only she can hear me. Shauna bumped her shoulder into mine and smiled at me in silent thanks.

I make my way back over to Zeke and Uriah who are still wrestling and I pull Zeke's arm out from Uriah's lock and pull him into a embrace. I have never been big on physical affection, not having experienced much of it during my childhood, but this felt natural, normal.

"Congratulations" I said while he patted my back and we parted.

"Thanks bro" he said a huge grin still plastered to his face.

A small hand tapped Zeke's shoulder and he spun around to see Tris. Zeke doesn't hesitate at all and pulled her into a tight hug. Once again I gripped my beer tighter and reminded myself I have nothing to worry about. Zeke had practically adopted Tris as his little sister, and I was thankful he was there for her when I wasn't.

"I told you" was all she said to him still holding him tight in embrace. I couldn't hear his response but it made Tris smile even bigger. They parted and Zeke stood between us sipping on his beer.

"I want front row seats the first time you have to change a nappy" Tris said laughing. Zeke's face fell for a second.

"I don't know how to do that" He admitted. I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing along with Tris and Zeke just looked at the both of us.

"It's not funny!" He stormed off towards Shauna muttering something about baby classes.

"Teasing him never ever gets old" I said once I had regained my composure. Tris was wiping a tear from her eye from laughing so hard, it was a nice change to see her beautiful face so lite up.

"No it doesn't" She agreered turning her head slightly to see the rest of our friends mill around the expectant parents.

"You knew about this?" I asked.

Tris shook her head. "Not really, they had been trying for a while, Zeke was starting to get worried something was wrong, I just told him to relax and that things happen for a reason."

I took a sip of my beer.

"You always were the smart one." I could see the slight blush hit her cheeks and smiled into my beer.

I saw Edward out of the corner of my eye as he slid up next to Tris. "Tris, you need a drink" he stated and quickly headed towards the table piled up with drinks. It didn't take an Erudite to work out how uncomfortable Tris was with that comment, because she was looking between me and Edward and biting her bottom lip.

I moved so I was standing behind Tris, my body slightly pressed up to her back. I ran my cold beer down her shoulder, her arm and down to her hand. She shivered at the contact with the cool drink, but held the beer firmly in her hand.

"Toast time" I whispered into her ear, my lips brushing her ear lobe slightly and I could hear the sharp intake of breath she took. It took all my strength in that moment not to back her up against the nearby rock formation and own her lips, her neck, her entire body.

Edward made his way back to where we stood, and took in our position and the beer that was now in Tris' hand. I smirked at him and took the beer he held in his hand meant for Tris and made my way to the centre of the rock before he could register what just happened.


	14. Chapter 14

AN: As promised, a longer chapter. Remember to leave me a review!

Chapter 14

 _(Tris)_

It took me a moment to remember where I was once Tobias' lips left my ear and his warmth left my body. Edward looked at me expectantly but I didn't know what to say so instead I made a beeline for Christina.

"Whistle for me" I asked. She shrugged and placed her fingers in her mouth and whistled so loud it echoed up through the entire chasm.

All conversations stopped and everyone covered their ears momentarily.

"Now that I have everyone's attention" Tobias said from the far side of the rock, right next to the chasm drop facing Zeke, Shauna and the rest of our friends. It amazed me how managed to overcome his fear of heights to stand so close to the edge. It reminded me of how strong he was, but it also reminded me he was not strong enough to overcome his fear he had about me, and our relationship, our future.

"To Zeke and Shauna, a new life brings new hope for the future" everyone raised their drinks, and I suddenly remembered Tobias' beer in my hand, I raised it in toast and took a quick sip expecting it to taste horrible, but it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. It was actually refreshing.

Everyone returned to talking and drinking, us girls mulling around Shauna, most of the conversation being around babies and morning sickness. Neither of which I had any experience with so found myself glancing at Tobias more than I should have. He was standing side on from me, laughing at Uriah's impressions of Zeke's impending journey into fatherhood. He looked so relaxed, the most relaxed I'd seen him since he'd been back and I wondered how much of that tension was due to me.

The smashing of a beer bottle caught my attention and I saw Edward throw me a heated look as he turned around quickly and left the chasm. I mentally smacked myself, I had forgotten Edward's presence completely. I was quick to follow him away from the clearing and into the narrow and dark corridors that led to the secret spot. I knew this as going to come to ahead eventually, Edward hadn't been shy about his feelings for me since we all returned to Dauntless, but I had told him on so many occasions that I wasn't ready. I had thought about it, maybe, one day, if Tobias had never returned, maybe I could make a go of it with Edward, but it would be a lie. I gave my heart to Tobias a long time ago, even if he didn't want it, he owned it.

"Edward stop" I pleaded, trying to find my footing on the slick rocks below.

"I don't get it Tris" He said, stopping and turning to face me. "He left, he left you alone full of bullet wounds and all of a sudden he's back and you forgive him. It's sick and warped." He spat at me.

"I never said I had forgiven him, Edward, it's complicated" I said deflated. How could I explain the situation when I had no idea myself.

"What you went though, what you did"

"Don't!" I almost screamed at him. "Don't you dare" I warned. I had trusted Edward enough with that secrete and I didn't need him to throw it back at me.

Edward dropped his head in defeat. " _I_ would never hurt you Tris" he said quietly.

"Edward" I said taking a step towards him.

"Don't" he flinched away. "Just don't coming running back to me when it all goes to shit again, I'm done" he turned around and stormed his way back up the path and out of sight.

I felt my stomach churn and wonder if it was from the argument with Edward or the beer I was still holding. I threw the beer bottle in frustration and it shattered into a thousand pieces on a nearby rock wall. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Edward, he had become such a reliable friend and I didn't want him to be hurt because of me.

I decided it was best to go home, I started to head back towards the clearing to say my goodbye's to Zeke and Shauna when I slipped on a moss covered rock and I couldn't help the scream that escaped my lips as I fell. A instant pain shooting through my ankle as I hit the rocks.

I heard Christina yell my name from the clearing followed by a dozen footsteps, I was surprised when the first face I saw was Tobias and not Christina. She was a good pace behind him.

"Tris" his voice dripped in concern as he bent down next to me. I sighed and let my head rest on the rock behind my head.

"I slipped, my ankle, ouch" I sighed. I saw Tobias glance at the shards of broken beer bottle nearby, his brow furrowed as he looked back at me. I knew what he was thinking and for Edward's sake I had to explain.

"He didn't do anything Tobias" he just nodded and placed his hand on my ankle trying to assess what sort of damage I had done. His hand was cool and it gave me goose bumps, he must have been holding a cold beer before dashing off to my rescue. Christina had caught up to us in the mean time.

"I'll fucking kill him" she said her voice taking on a lethal tone.

"He didn't do anything Chris, I slipped on that stupid rock, and now I'm on my ass." It took me a moment to realize everyone from the gathering was now surrounding me and I closed my eyes so I didn't die of embarrassment. This night was turning into a nightmare.

I tried to move to get up, but Tobias' hand held my ankle in place forcing me to stay on the ground. He looked up at Christina and Zeke.

"I got this, go back to the party" he said, then turned back at me. "You think you can walk?" I shrugged, I hoped so.

"I'll check on you later, okay?" Christina gave Tobias a suspicious look, all I could do was roll my eyes and nod at her. Everyone retreated back to the clearing leaving Tobias and I alone again.

"Okay, let's just do this slowly, we don't want to cause anymore damage." He said, and I wonder if he was talking about my ankle or our relationship.

I felt like telling him I was okay, and that I could manage on my own, but I didn't know how true that was, the pain in my ankle was a definite indicator that something was wrong, besides I doubt Tobias would listen to me anyway. His arm came around my shoulders and his other hand grasped mine as he helped me up off the ground. I tried to put pressure on my ankle but it gave way under me, had it not been for Tobias' arm around me I would have found myself on the ground again.

"Okay, safe to say you can't walk" He said as he shifted around me, one arm quickly swiped behind my knees and within a blink of an eye I was being cradled in his arms. It felt safe, and secure and familiar all at the same time.

"This is unnecessary" I said quietly. Tobias looked down at me and smiled as he made his way slowly and carefully out of the cold and damp corridor and back up to the main compound. I leant my head again his shoulder trying my best to block out the shooting pain in my ankle. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the way Tobias was breathing and the feint scent of soap on his neck.

It wasn't until he set me down on a soft surface I peeled open my eyes and took in my surroundings. He had carried me all the way to the infirmary and I noticed I was currently occupying a soft hospital bed.

"Now this" I gestured around the room "Is unnecessary" I finished with a roll of my eyes.

"Stay" He commanded. "I'll get someone" and he left the tiny room I was in closing the door softly behind him.

I looked around the room again and was assaulted by memories of the last time I had been here. I tried to concentrate on anything apart from the black tattoo that occupied my right wrist, and I was doing pretty well when the door opened and Tobias entered followed by middle aged woman with bright red hair and dressed in a mid length blue dress.

"You've done some damage to your ankle I hear?" she asked me while opening a cupboard next to the bed and pulling out a odd looking device with lots of buttons.

"I slipped, yeah, it's a little sore, but I'm sure it'll be fine" I said frustrated with all the fuss.

"Well we can't have a leader limping around the compound" she said. Either she recognised me or Tobias had pulled rank and ordered her into my room.

She motioned for me to lie back on the bed. I tried to slid myself back, but ended up wincing from the pain I was causing my ankle. Tobias' gentle hand steadied my ankle while he helped me lie down on the bed. The nurse, whose nametag read 'Patricia' glanced at my ankles.

"Right ankle" Tobias said as he slid off my flat black shoe for her to examine me. Patricia took out a tube of something from the cupboard and squirted it onto my ankle. It was cold and made me shiver again. Patricia then pushed the probe of the device she was holding onto my ankle. The more she pushed, the more it hurt.

"Good news is it's not broken. Bad news is it's very badly sprained. You'll need to keep off it for a few days, I suggest bed rest, then ease back into your normal routine." I let my head fall back on the bed. Great, bed rest, how was I going to manage that?

"I'll just go and get the chart" She said and whisked out of the room.

"Zeke is going to handcuff you to your bed you realise?" despite the pain I was in I laughed.

"I feel like Uriah should be here to make some sort of inappropriate joke about handcuffs and beds"

"I could try and think of something, but it's only going to make me need a cold shower" Tobias tone had dropped and I hinted a slight edge of embarrassment. I couldn't help the small smirk that crossed my lips.

Patricia returned to the room holding a tablet and a syringe laid out on a tray. "I've looked over your chart and I finally found a pain management plan that will work in with the copious amount of medications you are on." She looked at me with a frown.

Crap, this wasn't something I wanted Tobias to be present for, luckily enough she didn't elaborate, instead she picked up the syringe off the table and handed me a swab, indicating I could choose the injection site. I had been injected with almost every type of serum ever created while I was held captive at Erudite by Jeannine Matthews, so syringes didn't' phase me at all. I quickly swabbed my neck and Patricia injected the needle.

Within seconds I could feel the medication tarting too spread thought my body, starting at my head making a fog haze surround everything in the room. It travelled down my arms making them feel light as air, thought my stomach which lurched at the hit of medication and lack of food in it, down my legs to my ankle which immediately stopped hurting.

"Now, this is a pretty strong pain killer, it should last 12 hours, but it will make you drowsy." She then turned to Tobias who hadn't moved from the other side of the bed. "I wouldn't suggest she be left alone". Tobias nodded. "I'll have some crutches delivered so you can ease yourself around tomorrow, but don't over do it. If you have any more serious pain or the swelling doesn't go down, come straight back." She clicked a few buttons on her tablet and nodded to both of us before leaving the room. Tobias leant down the bed and wiped the gel off my ankle with the sheet of the bed before slipping my shoe back onto my foot so gently I almost don't feel it.

The haze was really setting in now and I was loosing focus on where I was and what I was doing. My eye lids were feeling heavy and I knew I was about to succumb to sleep when I felt two strong arms gently lift me off the bed and the swaying motion sent me straight into sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

AN: Thanks for the reviews for the past 2 chapters. This is the last pre-written one so the next update won't be for a few more days.

Chapter 15

 _(Tobias)_

Tris is fast asleep in my arms by the time we leave the infirmary. It's a bit of a distance up to her apartment, mine is closer, but I scratch that idea because I know she'll be more comfortable in her own bed. I take the elevator up the Pier. The small space doesn't really bother me at the moment, but I'm guessing that has something to do with the injured blond I'm holding in my arms. I focus on her while the elevator moves up quickly. She's still as light as I remember, and she still fits perfectly in my arms, like she has always belonged in them.

The doors open on her floor and I find my way to her front door. It takes me a few moments to adjust her in my arms so I can press her thumb to the plate on the door to unlock it and kick it open with my foot. I walk in sideways, careful not to bump Tris' head or feet on the door jambs. I walk slowly and carefully to her room, flicking lights on with my elbow lighting the rooms up enough for me to see where I'm going. I've only ever been in here once before, and I'm assuming the room Christina came out of that time was Tris' so I head in that direction.

The bed in the centre of the room is made and covered in pillows. I adjust Tris in my arms again and somehow manage to get the corner of the bedding down. I lay her gently on the bed, her head resting on the closest pillow. I check her over quickly making sure she's still breathing evenly and still fast asleep before I move down to remove both her shoes, placing them on the floor at the foot of the bed. She's still wearing her jeans and I battle internally weather I should remove them or not, it's nothing I haven't seen before after all, but ultimately I decided against it. I'm attempting to regain her trust, and undressing her without her permission just didn't sit well with me, no matter how uncomfortable she may get.

I pull the blankets out a little more from underneath her, trying to be as gentle as possible and cover her up with them. I crouch down to her level and rock back on my heels watching her sleep so peacefully, her lips parted slightly. The last time I watched her sleep she was in a coma, tubes and wires covered most of her body and her neck was stained with blood. The images feel so fresh in my mind it's hard to believe this is the same girl.

I brush the hair away from her forehead lightly and lean into kiss her there. I let my lips linger slightly missing the way I used to be able to do this as often as I wanted. I finally pull away and head for the bedroom door, switching off the light and slightly jarring the door as I go. I walk back into the lounge room and flop down on the couch exhausted. I lean my head back on the head rest and close my eyes, but it doesn't last long as there is a loud banging coming from the front door. I jump up quickly and race to answer it, hoping it doesn't wake Tris.

"Christina, keep it down" I snap as I answer the door to a glassy eyed Christina and Uriah.

"Where is she?" Christina demands and tries to push past me and into the apartment.

"No way, you're smashed and she's asleep I'm not going to let you wake her up"

"And who exactly are you to be making decisions for her?" she has a point, but I glare at her anyway telling her silently to back off.

"Fine!" She says crossing her arms. "But I sware to god Four, if you fuck this up, I will fuck you up, do you understand?" Her tone was condescending and nasty.

"Yeah, what she said" Uriah finally spoke.

I looked at the both of them and sighed. I couldn't blame them for being so protective of Tris, I hurt her, the one person they all thought they could trust and I left them, left her. In their eyes, I couldn't be trusted.

"I got this" I repeat. It must satisfy Christina eventually because she nods at me slowly.

"I'll come by in the morning" and with that she stormed off down the hallway with Uriah in tow.

I close the door and retreat back to the lounge room and back to the couch, but I don't sit down, instead heading back towards Tris' room to make sure she's still asleep. I'm surprised to find her still lying down, but with her eyes open.

"You're still here" she says quietly, her voice thick with sleep.

"I'm not going anywhere Tris"

"Hmm, we'll see" she says as she slowly closes her eyes again.

I'm a flurry of blankets and couch cushions when I'm woken up again by the persistent banging on the front door. I get the door open and Christina barges her way past me and into the kitchen, her arms full of bags.

"What the hell?" I ask rubbing my head from where it came in contact with the coffee table earlier.

"Good morning to you too. You never were a good morning person Four, you should work on that." She says while unpacking what appears to be groceries from the bags. "So, is it broken?"

I look at her dumbly before I remember she's asking about Tris' ankle.

"No, just really badly sprained. Bed rest for a few days and crutches to get around."

"Good. Broken would be bad, like really bad. Well I'm here now so you can go, kick puppies or whatever it is you do for fun" I stare at her coldly but she cracks up laughing. "Four, I'm kidding, god, you know you're way too serious, you really need to lighten up a bit. Look," she says rounding the counter to stand in front of me. "I know you want her back, and I'm pretty sure she's open to the idea, but you've got to give her space."

"What the hell do you think I've been trying to do, it's not that easy Christina"

"You did a good thing last night, she needed you and you were there, but now it's time for you to go, go sleep, go shower, do what ever it is you manly men do in the mornings, I've got her from here."

I opened my mouth to argue with her but she cut me off before I could say anything. "Four" She sighed. "You've seen how embarrassed and awkward she gets by simple things, do you really think she's going to let you help her shower and dress?"

She had a point, again. It was starting to irk me how well everyone seemed to know Tris, and I somehow was on the outside of all that. I rubbed the back of my neck in frustration.

"Tell her…" I trailed off. Tell her what? Good morning? I love you? I had no idea.

"I'll tell her you went home to sleep, and that you said you'd stop by this afternoon and check on her, okay?"

I nod and pick up my displaced jacket off the back of the dining room chair before heading to the front door.

 _(Tris)_

Bed rest is overrated. I've been stuck in my room for hours. Christina came by this morning and made me breakfast, helped me take a shower, even if it did require me sitting on a chair, dress me and helped me back to bed. Zeke and Shauna came by also, bringing me a stack of books and what looked like a children's colouring in book. My ankle felt slightly better than it did last night, everyone agreed the swelling had gone down, but the black and green bruising was a indication of how bad the sprain really was. I had just taken a handful of pills and was meant to be napping, while Uriah took up residences on my couch in the lounge room in case I needed anything. Somehow my friends had all managed to constantly be here though out the day, never leaving me alone. It felt all too familiar.

I hadn't seen Tobias since last night and honestly I don't remember much of what happened after we arrived at the infirmary. I'm assuming he brought me home because I woke up in my own bed this morning with Christina singing my name in my ear. She said he had stayed with me all night, crashing on the couch in the lounge room, though she thought he hadn't much sleep. Tobias had said he would drop by to check on me later today, but I was still waiting to see him. I was a little nervous, I knew I had been given a pain killer and I had no idea what I had said or done while Tobias was with me last night.

I tried to take my mind off it all by flicking though one of the books Shauna left me, it was all about the history of tattoos, but voices from the lounge room caused me to abandon it. There was a soft knock at the door.

"Come in" I said. I had a feeling it would be Tobias on the other side of the door, all my other friends didn't have the manners to knock first, they just barged in.

I wasn't disappointed, Tobias stood in the doorway for a moment before entering my room and closing the door behind him. He had on a pair of really dark blue jeans and tight black t-shirt, and I couldn't help where my mind had started to wander to.

"Hi" He said looking uncomfortable by the door. He had a pile of manila folders in his hands.

"Hey" I replied. "Sit down" I motioned to the end of the bed with my hand. He complied with my request.

"How's your ankle?"

"Better, thankyou"

"Are you still in much pain?" He asked concern lacing his voice.

"No, it's still painful, but nothing I can't manage"

Tobias nodded and took a glance at the pile of books beside me. "Interesting reading choices"

"Shauna said I needed to expand my mind" I said rolling my eyes.

"Well, it's not the history of tattoo's but I did bring you something." He handed me the pile of manila folders. "I figured the easiest way to get though the next few days would be to concentrate on work, and as you can't physically be in your office, I brought your office to you" I looked at him and smiled. No matter how much time apart we spent, he still knew me better than anyone. "These are the personal files you had on your desk for the ER teams you're putting together. Everything else you need you should be able to access from your tablet."

"Thank you" was all I could muster. "For this and for last night" I could feel the blush begin to creep up my neck and onto my cheeks.

"Tris, there's really no need…"

"Yes there is, and it's not just my Abnegation coming out. I haven't been particularly welcoming since you came back" I sheepishly look down at my hands. "It's not that I'm not happy you're here it's just… I don't trust you anymore" I look up at him. His eyes look big and wide like they are taking in information for the first time.

"I get it" He says quietly. "I know I made some bad choices, but I'm never going to stop trying to make it up to you Tris, even if it takes the rest of my life" and in that instant I believe him, the way his eyes are boring into my soul it's almost too much to handle so I glance down at my hands again. I suddenly feel the need to run, to escape where this conversation is heading.

"Did I say anything last night I need to apologise for?" I ask as I draw my bottom lip between my teeth.

Tobias chuckled which made the bed shake a little. "No, you promptly fell asleep" he said smiling at me. I was relieve, I wasn't sure how the pain medication would affect me and I didn't want my mouth to run away with it's self. "You were snoring even". I opened my mouth mortified.

"I do no snore" I punch Tobias' arm slightly.

"That's not how I remember it" I close my eyes and turn my head to the side and will myself not to turn red at the memory of the last time we spent the night together, I don't remember much sleeping actually happening. "I should go, you are meant to be resting"

I screw my face up in mock distaste which causing Tobias to laugh as he lifts himself off the bed and heads for the door.

"Tris" He says my name turning around just in front of my bedroom door. "I meant what I said, even if it takes eternity I'm going to earn your trust again" and with one more small smiles he leaves me and my thoughts all alone again in my room.


	16. Chapter 16

AN: Okay this is a update I didn't except to even be positing, I'm off on a few days break soon and I don't plan on taking my computer (plans can always change hey?)

Also I'd like to quickly explain why I chose to put Edward into this as a potential love interest with Tris instead of Peter which has been done by some amazing (far better than I) writers.

I was watching Divergent again a few weeks back and I noticed how close Edward seems to be to Tris in a few scenes (i.e he's there to help her pull Christina off the edge of the chasm when Eric throws her over & where Four shows them into the initiatives bathroom, Edward gives Tris a cheeky little smile) I know in the books he's there with his girlfriend, but come on, if Tobias was never going to be in the picture (and I'm my OTP is Fortris all the way) but Edward and Tris would make pretty babies… just saying.

Chapter 16

 _(Tobias)_

It's been a few days since I saw Tris and I was trying to keep as busy as possible, giving her the space she and everyone else told me she needed. Today Zeke and I were attempting to fit my new couch though the door of my apartment. It took allot of angling and manoeuvring but eventually we got it in and placed nicely in front of the coffee table that we brought up a hour earlier. Zeke immediately plopped himself down on the couch exhausted.

"Okay, man, beer, now" I snorted a laugh at him and retrieved 2 beers from the fridge handing him one before sitting down next to him.

"So, what do you think?" I asked.

"About the couch? You want my opinion, or you want me to tell you what Tris will think?" His all knowing Zeke smirk on his face. I raised both my eyebrows at him expectantly.

"It's good, it better than expecting anyone to sit on your bed, not that Tris would mind visiting your bed" He said quickly before sipping on his beer.

"Really?" I asked annoyed. His comments about my relationship with Tris the past few days were annoying and beyond inappropriate, but more so they were giving me hope. I hadn't seen her since the day after she slipped in the chasm, but I was getting feedback from everyone that she was doing well and Zeke even commented that she would be joining us for a light run tomorrow morning.

"Plans for tonight?" Zeke asked after dropping his now empty beer onto the coffee table. "Being Friday night and all"

"No. Why?" I looked at him suspiciously.

"Well there's this thing at the club, you should be there."

"What thing?" I asked sipping my own beer.

"It's a surprise, but trust me, you should defiantly be there"

"Does this have anything to do with Shauna? You aren't going to ask her to marry you are you?"

"Pft, man, no, I'm not the marrying kind, you on the other hand…" He grinned at me.

"Zeke" I warned.

"No, this has nothing to do with Shauna, she'll be there, but no, you're way off. Just say you'll be there, it's a VIP event."

I sighed "Fine"

"Oh wear a white shirt; it's a themed kind of party."

"Why does all this sound so suss?"

"Four, just trust me, have I ever steered you wrong?" I looked at him eyebrows raised. "Okay, don't answer that, just tonight, white shirt, 9pm. I'm out, I got to go whip some people into shape" and with that he left my apartment. I finished my beer and stayed sitting on the couch. It defiantly added a homie kind of vibe to my apartment, one I was secretly hoping Tris would like.

I had thought about Tris almost every moment of every day since I last saw her and it was taking a good amount of will power not to track her down and kiss every part of available skin I could find on her. I got up and picked up my tablet from the kitchen counter and found Tris' name in the messenger screen. I wasn't a big user of this new feature, but it seemed to be a really good way of keeping in constant contact with the faction, not to mention between the group of leaders. I went back to the couch with the tablet in my hand and downed some more of my beer while I thought about what I was going to say. I decided to start with a question, that way she would have to reply.

 _How's the ankle healing?_ I typed and pressed send before I could think about it any more. I raised my beer to my lips just as I heard a pinging sound indicating a new message had been received.

 _Tris: Much better thankyou, I can even walk on it which is a nice change._

I finished off my beer and set it down next to Zeke's while I thought about my next move, but before I could type a response I heard another ping.

 _Tris: Are you going to this thing at the club tonight? Christina has bullied me into going._

No wonder Zeke was adamant I go.

 _Tobias: Zeke bailed me up before and it looks like I have no choice either, so I will be there._

 _Tris: Good, I'll see you there._

I smiled to myself. She was looking forward to seeing me. I left the tablet on the coffee table, within earshot just in case another ping went off and headed to my closet. It appeared I did in fact own a white shirt. It was a long sleeved cuffed shirt which I teamed up with a pair of dark jeans, dressy but casual enough.

Tris and I had been on one date our entire relationship and that was while we were fighting a war, freeing a city and discovering what was outside the fence. Not that tonight was a date by any means. Tris and I were barely even friends again and if that's all she wanted I would just have to live with that, but deep down I knew Tris and I could never be just friends. She was so ingrained into me that it was impossible for me to not be in love with her. I shake the friendship zone thoughts from my head and remind myself about the last message I had received and took off to the bathroom to shave.

 _(Tris)_

I keep glancing at the tablet on my desk just in case I've missed a message from Tobias. I was a little surprised to get a message from him today, I haven't heard from him since he visited me the day after my little accident in the chasm. I was worried I had done or said something to make him stay away, but Christina assured me he was just trying to give me the space I asked for.

I was trying hard not to get used to having Tobias back in my life. I couldn't trust that he wouldn't take off again, especially once I worked up the courage to tell him what I needed to tell him. I'm not sure my heart could stand having him leave again.

I lean back in my office chair and stare at the tablet. I can't help but twirl my hair with my fingers while I'm deep in thought. Being unable to walk for a few days had worked against me. Christina managed to get me in a chair for 2 hours while she dyed the tips of my blond hair hot pink. She assured me it would wash out in a few days. I didn't want to admit to her that I didn't mind it, it was a nice change, but it wasn't something I was willing to make permanent.

Christina's voice from down the hall brought me back to reality and it didn't take long her for her find her way into my office. Her hair was a mess and she carried several bags on her arms as she plopped down in the chair across from me.

"Have you been making out with Uri in the change rooms again?" I sighed.

"Haha, you know for a stiff you're pretty funny."

I poke my tongue out at her which makes her laugh.

"I brought you something" She says and slides a bag off her arm and dumps it on my desk.

"Uh" I mutter.

"Don't, don't you dare. Do you have any idea how long it took me to track down the perfect dress for you for tonight"

"Dress? I didn't agree to a dress, I agreed to go and that was it" I crossed my arms and sat back in the chair again.

"It's a party Tris, and girls wear dresses so don't argue."

I peak into the bag and quickly shove it back to her.

"White? Not only a dress, but a white, more than likely see through dress? You have got to be kidding me Chris. No, no freaking way!"

"Don't get your panties in a twist Princess. Yes it's white, no it's not see through, it's a themed party, and everyone will be wearing white so deal with it. Come on, Zeke and I have been working on this for weeks, it's going to be a blast, I promise."

I look at her unconvinced and she just looks back at me and smirks.

"Four's going to be there you know, and this dress… on you, let's just say it's going to be a jaw dropper" She grinned.

I sigh and roll my eyes. My brain was trying really hard to convince my subconscious that I didn't care that Tobias was going to be there, that I wasn't really looking forward to seeing him and that I didn't really want to impress him by wearing the strip of clothing Christina was trying to pass off as a dress.

But my brain wasn't winning the internal battle. Maybe I really was a girl at heart, and I did care what I wore to this stupid party and maybe I really wanted to impress Tobias.

"Fine, I'll wear the dress, I'll show up, but when I'm ready I'm leaving, no arguments, okay?"

"Oh there won't be any arguments" She grinned and stood up. "I'll pop up later to do your makeup and hair"

I closed my eyes, unable to argue with her and just nodded slowly while she got up out of the chair and in the same fashion she entered my office she left again.

After Christina left I tried desperately to get back into what I was doing, but it didn't take long to be interrupted again. I really need to learn to lock my office door.

"Grasshopper" Zeke greeted as he too plopped himself down in the seat across from me.

"I don't know why I even bothered coming up here today, everyone seems hell bent on distracting me from doing any work."

"Hey, I'm here to help" Zeke defended himself.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I've been going over the personal files for the ER teams and I've narrowed down the team leaders."

I had been trying to do the same thing for days, but hadn't been able to narrow down the 10 best candidates to the 4 we needed.

"Okay, show me what you got?" Zeke pulled out his tablet and pressed a few buttons. Within seconds my own tablet pinged and I opened up the file he had sent me. Zeke's choices were up on my screen. Me, Zeke, Uriah and Tobias.

I wasn't surprised by his choices. This had been my outcome also, however I was having trouble deciding between Tobias and Edward for the last spot. Both had equal physical attributes and both commanded the respect required for the position, but I wasn't sure how I was going to cope working so closely with Tobias again if he couldn't cope with what I had to tell him.

"What about Edward?" I asked.

"Look Tris, I know you guys are friends and Edward fits all the other attributes, but come on, the guys isn't as mentally stable as we would like"  
I snorted. "And I am?"

"That's different, you know that's different" He countered.

"You know as well as I do that Four's perfect"

Images of Tobias' perfectly toned and undressed body flash in my mind I smile a little and look away flushed from my train of thought.

"Perfect for this role, get your mind out of the gutter missy" Zeke mused and I rolled my eyes.

We sit there in silence for a few minutes while I go over and over the decision in my head. If it came down to it I could always quit and put Edward in my place, that would solve any awkwardness between Tobias and myself.

"Okay, let's go with this."

"Excellent, I'll set up a meeting with everyone and we can finish picking the teams and get the roster up and running."

"I thought all that was my job" I laugh.

"A little help never hurt anyone Tris" He winked at me and stood up tilting the bag on my desk towards himself so he could see the contents. Zeke, Dauntless born, never has understood boundaries.

"Hm, I'll be seeing you tonight Grasshopper"

"Yeah, yeah I'll be there, white dress and all" I say in my most unenthused voice as Zeke leaves my office and my gaze returns to the dress in the bag on my desk. I pick up the bag and my tablet and switch off my computer and decide to head home for a nap before Christina arrives to torture me.


	17. Chapter 17

AN: I have no idea how I managed to just write a 3000 plus word update, but you are all very welcome. This chapter I dedicated to GerdyGertha for leaving me numerous reviews. You are wonderful! So this is your chapter… full of fluffy goodness.

Chapter 17

 _(Tris)_

My hair is straight, the pink ends reaching well over my shoulders. My eyes are framed in black eyeliner and mascara. The dress Christina brought me hugs my breasts and hips but isn't as short as I first thought, reaching just above my knees. I look myself over in the mirror of the bathroom. I look like a stronger more confident version of myself. It defiantly isn't a bad look, but I feel a little like an impostor. I try to shake the thoughts from my head because I hear a banging on my front door. I check the clock, 8.45pm on the dot. Christina is rarely late, so I run to the door and let her and my entourage in. Uriah and Zeke's mouths both drop when they see me, Shauna has to wheel over both their feet to get them to stop staring.

"Phowa! Tris! Geez" Uriah says while Christina just stands next to them all, a gleeful smile on her face. "Babe, you do good work." He kisses Christina's temple. "Not that your not pretty Tris, it's just, um, you know, ah" He stumbles over his words and I laugh.

"I get it Uri, thanks" I say with a smile.

I usher everyone into the lounge room while I go fetch my shoes from the bedroom. I slip on my flats, easing my still sore ankle into them. When I turn back to the door Zeke is leaning on the door jamb smiling. I spin around in a quick circle for him.

"You approve?" I ask waving my hands over my face and body.

"I do" He nods. "You look…" he trails off and walks towards me. "Alive Tris, more alive than I've seen you in a long time." I smile at his praise. "I wonder how much of it has to do with him though." I know he's referring to Tobias and I honestly can't say how much of my new found strength I've derived from his return. "Are you going to tell him?" He asks. I had been waiting for this question from Zeke for a while now.

I nod. "Yes, but not now, it's, you know it's hard." I sigh. "He's going to blame himself."

"I'd be lying if I didn't think the same thing, but Tris, part of all that was his fault. He chose to leave instead of dealing with the bigger issues, I don't want to see that happen again." Zeke picks up both my hand with his, the emotions in his eyes not missed by me.

I can always count on Zeke for humour and amusement, but there was also this side of him that only surfaced when it was needed. He was wise beyond his years, and not many people got the privilege to see it. "I don't want to see you go thought that again, I won't. I'm really pulling for your guys to make it, but you have to tell him the truth before it gets anywhere near serious again Tris, he opened up to you, it's time for you to do the same."

I lowered my head and looked at Zeke's hands holding mine. "I know, I will." I looked back up at Zeke. "I'm terrified he's going to run again." I admit it, I'm terrified that he will make good on his promise and leave because I once again put my life in danger, weather I intended to or not. I'm terrified he won't understand, that he'll look at me differently.

Zeke smiled at me. "I know your scared, and I know it's hard to trust him again, but he's not the same person who skipped out on us Tris. He's really trying to make an effort."

"I know and I'm trying too. I'm still angry Zeke"

"You have every right to be, but you need to call on that Abnegation aptitude of yours and forgive him, so you can both start moving on."

I close my eyes for a moment, willing the tears to stay at bay, Christina will kill me if I ruin the makeup she spent a hour plastering on me.

When I open them again Zeke is still smiling at me, and I'm reminded of a conversation we had back at the beginning of the year, back when I was all kinds of messed up and he was there to get me thought it.

"I never thanked you" I say quietly. His smile drops a little and he shakes his head.

"Tris"

"No, I need to say this. I never thanked you for saving me that night, if you hadn't been looking out for me you would never have found me and I wouldn't be here today. You stood by me even when I was being a bitch about everything, you built me up when I needed it and you knew when to stomp on me for my own good. You've been more of a brother to me these past few months than my real brother has even been. I love you" I say as I let the first tear fall. I'm not ashamed of this, I'm glade to be finally able to articulate what I've wanted to say for a while now and this just seemed like the perfect time.

He doesn't say anything just pulls me into the biggest hug he's ever given me while I try to blink away the tears.

I see Shauna roll into the room over Zeke's shoulder.

"You made her cry? Oh my god please tell me you didn't tell her the joke about the 3 nuns in a bar because that joke makes everyone cry."

Zeke and I pull apart and I run my fingers under my eyes to try and clear the tears.

"No jokes I promise. Grasshopper was just having a moment, but we're cool now." Zeke says as he casually throws his arm over the back of my shoulders. "Right?" He asks.

"We're good" I nod.

"Tris!" I hear from the doorway and see Christina storm into the room. "What did you do to your face? Oh, we're going to be late. Come on." She dragged me back into the bathroom to touch up my face.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just having a moment that's all" I smile and see Christina flash a smile back in the mirror.

Once she's done we all pile out of my apartment and take the lift down to the Pier and to the club. It's dark and I notice there are no lights on at all in the main entry which is strange. We all wander in, nodding to the bouncers as we go. Being a leader did come with its' privileges, and one of those was VIP area access. We make our way though the main entry doors and I see black lights have been installed all across the dance floor, up the side the DJ booth and all across the ceiling. Instantly our entire group starts to glow. I laugh, this is why the white dress code.

Uriah leads us onto the stairwell that leads up thought the crowed dance floor to the mezzanine floor. From here you can see over the entire dance floor. It's equipped with a bar and comfy lounges. It takes my eyes a few moments to adjust, but as they do the figure standing at the bar suddenly becomes familiar. Tobias is leaning on the bar with is back to me, a beer in one hand as he speaks to the bartender, who is laughing at whatever he's said.

I'm still feeling a little emotional from my earlier conversation with Zeke, so I'm not entirely sure it's a good idea to be in Tobias' presence, but I squash that idea and head over to the bar, making sure I slide up close enough to him to startle him when I order my drink.

"Beer please" I ask the bartender. It works because Tobias visibly jolts at the sound of my voice and spins around to face me.

"Hey" I manage while I take in his appearance. He has on a pair of dark blue jeans and a white cuffed dress shirt which I've never seen him wear. The sigh of Tobias in a dress shirt makes my mouth go dry.

He looks me up and down several times with his mouth slightly open.

"Tris?" he asks like he's not quite sure he's seeing me. Clearly the dress had the desired effect on him Christina had hoped for.

"Hey" I repeat my earlier greeting. He shakes his head at me for a second like he's trying to clear his head before looking back at me.

"You. Wow" is all he can say and I smirk and blush at the same time.

The bartender placed my beer up on the bar and I picked it up and took a sip. It's not something I would usually order, but I didn't mind the taste the other night. I had been weaning off some of the more hardcore medications I had been on, which meant I could drink alcohol again if I wanted.

"You're glowing" He says leaning into me so I can hear him over the music.

I laugh. "So are you" Indicating to his chest so he can look at his own white shirt glowing under the black lights. He laughs too and we wander of to the railing overlooking the dance floor. The white everyone wore lite up the dark room, like starts dotting the sky.

Our conversation is cut short when the music suddenly stops and a spot light is directly to the small stage lighting up Christina and Zeke who both have microphones in their hands. My stomach drops at where this could be going.

Zeke lifted the microphone to his mouth. "We recently came across a bit of information about a friend of ours, a friend of yours, heck she's basically the Princess of Dauntless. She has never once celebrated her birthday." Zeke's eyes were searching around, and I knew he was looking for me. I started to look for an exit, but up here on the mezzanine floor there wasn't any. I tried to back away from the railing, but Tobias' hand on the small of my back stoped me. I looked at him with suspicion.

"Please tell me you didn't know about this"  
He shook his head looking annoyed. "This is the first I'm hearing about it"

Christina was next to speak, the microphone squeaking slightly at her pitch. "She has done some amazing things in her 18 years, she saved our city, and most of our lives, she even died a couple of times." The crowd stifled a laugh. "We wanted to gather everyone important in her life so we could all celebrate together, because her life is worth celebrating."

I bite my lip at the statement, my friends amazed me on a level I didn't even know existed.

Zeke raised his beer in his hand. "Happy 18th Birthday Tris"

"We love you" Christina added and everyone toasted me, including Tobias as he stood directly next to me smiling.

Zeke spoke up again. "And to celebrate in true Dauntless style" He clicked a button on a remote in his hand and for a second I thought the roof had collapsed until I noticed large amounts of dust falling from the roof and landing everywhere, including up where Tobias and I were perched on the mezzanine floor.

I looked at Tobias and laughed. He was covered in neon coloured dust, the black lights making it appear to glow.

"Now I understand the white" I took a sip of my forgotten beer to try and shake the embarrassment I was feeling.

Tobias stepped in closer to me, lightly running his fingers thought my hair, bits of coloured dust falling down over my neck and onto my already stained dress. He leant in closer and kissed me chastely on the cheek.

"Happy Birthday Tris" he whispered and in that moment I didn't care about our past, about our fears, about anything that had happened the past few months, all I wanted was to be with him.

My earlier conversation with Zeke popped into my head. I had things to tell Tobias before we could even try to mend out broken relationship. My arm was suddenly being yanked on and I was dragged away from Tobias and into Christina's arm.

"Happy Birthday!" she exclaimed loudly and to my annoyance placed a tiara on my head. I shot up my eyebrows at her, to indicate how ridiculous it was.

"Nope, not even, no fighting me. Zeke and I spent hours going over Abnegation records to find out your actual birthday, then weeks putting this all together. Tonight you do as you're told, and have fun!" she emphasized the last word.

"Hey, stop hogging the birthday girl" Uriah forcefully removed Christina out of the way and he too enveloped me into a hug.

It went on like this for a while, everyone wishing me happy birthday and offering to get me drinks. Shauna laughed at the tiara on my head and told me that at least I looked the part. I rolled my eyes and noticed the bottle of water on her lap. Of course, she couldn't drink now she was pregnant.

When it was finally Zeke's turn, I punched him in the shoulder before he could hug me. "Very sneaky" I stated. "But this is awesome" I smiled and let him hug me for the second time tonight.

"You are very welcome, Princess" I rolled my eyes at the nickname.

I had downed 2 beers already and I was feeling light headed and woozy when Tobias finally found me again, placing a cardboard box in my hand full of french fries while removing the beer from my other hand. "Eat" he commanded and I smiled my thanks at him. As much as I was still unable to trust Tobias not to leave me again, I trusted him to keep me safe, so I enjoyed the fries.

I had to admit I was having a great time, especially when Zeke handed me a paintball gun full of neon paint balls and winked at me. I wasn't sure how accurately my shooting was going to be after the amounts of beer I had ingested, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity extract my revenge.

I scooted over next to the railing on the second floor and lined up Uriah who was standing with a group of young girls, who all seemed to be hanging on every word he was yelling to try and get over the top of the music. I let off a shot, and it hit him directly in the ass smothering his white pants with bright blue paint. I smiled and quickly ducked down. He had no idea what had hit him and I couldn't help but giggle.

Next I found Christina, who was reapplying her lipstick in the reflection of a two way mirror next to the dance floor. I aimed for her shoulder and laughed as her hand skewed and her lipstick ran across her face. If she figured out it was me I was a dead woman.

I moved across the other side of the floor looking for my last two targets. Zeke and Tobias were both leaning against a wall chatting to Tori and two other girls I didn't recognise. One of which had her hand placed lightly on Tobias arm. I quickly changed my mind and aimed at her hand instead. I concentrated, this shot I couldn't miss. I took in a deep breath, aimed and fired. My shot hit perfectly the bright pink paint splattering on her hand and covering Tobias shirt. She moved her hand quickly to cradle it while dropping her mouth open and glaring at me across the room.

I just shrugged and smiled at her, Zeke and Tori were in fits of laughter as the two girls stormed off towards the bathrooms. I went back to my where I left my beer and took another sip while I contemplated who I was going to use my last shot on. I was about the line Zeke up when two strong hands found my waist. I didn't need to turn around to see who it was, the bright pink on the white shirt gave him away.

"Nice shot" Tobias whispered in my ear.

"I was aiming for you" I lied turning around to face him. "You can blame Zeke, he was the one who put the gun in my hand."

"Actually that was my idea"

"Oh really, you didn't think you'd be my first target?"

He laughed slightly "I'm surprised you didn't use them all on me."

The room took a slight turn to the left and I had to step out to keep myself from falling. Tobias' hand darted out onto my hip to help keep me stable.

"Why would I do that?" I asked, I could hear my speech starting to slur but I couldn't shut myself up.

"Because you're still angry at me"

"Angry is an understatement" I slur again tilting my head to look up at him better. "You took part of me when you left, and I'm not sure I'll even be able to get it back" My brain was screaming at me to stop, but my mouth just wouldn't close. I had to get away before I said anything else. Tobias just looked pained, but didn't move his hand from my hip.

"I know" he said quietly. I laughed at that.

"You don't know the half of it"

"Are you going to tell me?" He asked.

I sighed; this wasn't the time or the place to be having this discussion and my stomach wasn't feeling so great.

"Yes, but right now I think I need to lie down." The room was spinning back and forth in front of my eyes and I dropped the beer I was holding and it smashed on the ground, splashing beer all over my feet.

"Come on, I'll take you home" Tobias said as he link our hands together and lead me to the stairs down to the dance floor. I took one look down and almost vomited. I stepped back and took a deep breath.

"I don't feel so good" I admitted. Tobias just shook his head lightly at me and as he had done a few nights before, swept me off my feet and slowly walked down the stairs with me safely in his arms.


	18. Chapter 18

AN: Okay, this wasn't easy to write, so be nice.

Chapter 18

 _(Tobias)_

I get Tris up to her front door and place her on her feet. She had woken up somewhere along the way muttering something about her tattoo being itchy. Tris let's us into her apartment after it takes three goes for her to line her thumb up to the plate. I flick on the light switches as I follow her in. I hear her curse under her breath as she runs into the coffee table, then suddenly her hand covers her mouth and she darts for her bedroom. I inwardly cringe. Nothing like a good hangover to start the day. I pause in the kitchen and fill up a glass full of water before tracking her down in her bathroom.

As I expected she's kneeling over the toilet and emptying the contents of her stomach, which I'm assuming consists mainly of beer and French fries. I placed the glass down on the sink and pulled her hair back for her. I hear her mumble a "go away" before her stomach lurches again.

"I'm not going anywhere Tris" I say softly.

Once she's sure she's done I help her lean back against the nearby wall and hand her the glass of water. I sit down on the tiles in front her so we are on the same level.

"Sip slowly" I say. Her eyes are so glassy and she's a lot paler than I remember her being at the begging of the night.

"This" I indicate to the toilet bowl "Is why you shouldn't drink" adding a slight laugh at the end.

She scrunches up her nose at me, but doesn't say anything.

Once the glass of water is empty she attempts to lie down on the bathroom floor.

"No no, none of that, come on, up, bed."

She groans at me as I lift her up under her arms and half carry half drag her to her bed. I lay her down straight away worried if I let her sit upright she'll just fall over. I take her shoes off and place them at the foot of the bed again. This all seemed very familiar.

I take the empty glass from the bathroom and return to the kitchen again and refill it setting in her bedside table. Tris' eyes are already closed and I'm confident she's asleep so I turn off the light and go to leave when her voice stops me.

"Tobias" she says softly.

"Yeah?"

"Don't go"

I don't say or do anything I just freeze my hand still on the door knob.

"I don't want to be alone." I swallow the hard lump that's formed in my throat. She's completely trashed, and I'm not sure she knows what she's saying.

"Please" she asks again and I can hear the pleading in her voice. It may not be the wisest decision, but I know I've made it as soon as I hear that tone in her voice. I leave the door open and head back into the room, heading for the opposite side of the bed. Tris didn't say or do anything else as I slipped out of my shoes and lied down on the bed, making sure I stay on top of the covers.

I'm hoping Tris has gone back to sleep but I know she hasn't when I hear her groan slightly, and it almost breaks me hearing her in pain. I scooted over closer to her and gently laid my hand and arm over her side laying my palm flat against her well toned stomach. I gently rubbed very small circles over the area. It must have worked, because after a few minutes I hear Tris lightly begin to snore.

I stopped rubbing and just lied there with her encompassed in my arm and I smiled. I'd missed being this close to her, this comfortable with her. I wasn't too thrilled she was sick, but I was happy she had a good time celebrating her birthday for the first time, and got to experience alcohol first hand. I was a big drinker at all, but drinking and having a hangover was almost like a Dauntless tradition in it's self, so very un-Abnegation. I wanted Tris to experience the fun side of Dauntless, she had seen too much of the destructive part.

I let her dull snores lull me to sleep, confident she's safe in my arms.

 _(Tris)_

I woke up with the sudden need to pee, but as I moved to sit myself up my head screamed at me and I had to lie back down again. I felt like I'd been hit by train, two trains. My head was splitting, my stomach was screaming at me and my ankle was throbbing again. I rubbed my head gently trying to ease the thumping when I notice I wasn't alone in my bed.

I was too terrified to look at who I was in bed with, instead opting to lift the covers slightly to check I was till wearing my clothes, which I was. I hope like hell it was just Christina or Uriah. I finally sucked up the courage and turn my head to the left and exhale. Tobias was asleep in his stomach next to me, on top of the covers, fully dressed, sans his shoes.

I try to piece together what happened last night. I remember the club, the black lights, the coloured dust, the beers, oh my god so many beers. The memory made my stomach lung upward but I keep it at bay and moan instead. Tobias' eyes flutter open instantly and he's starting at me, eyebrows creased.

"Morning" he says a little too loudly for my pounding head.

I groan again while Tobias rolls over and off the bed and disappears into my bathroom. What the hell happened last night, and what did I say to him? Obviously I didn't spill my guts, because he was still here.

Tobias returned to my bedroom with a glass of water in his hands and headed over to my side of the bed. I tried to sit up again, but my head felt like it has fallen off my shoulders. His strong hands lifted the side of my head gently.

"Open" he commanded as he rubbed his thumb across my bottom lip. I couldn't lift my own head let alone fight with him, so I did as he asked. Tobias popped two small pills into my mouth and handed me the glass of water.

My mind must have kick started because I spat them out immediately and looked at him. Tobias was looking at me with a mixture of shock and hurt.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You don't trust me not to drug you?" He said hurt evident in his voice as he backs away from my bed.

"No, Tobias it's not that" I struggled to form words. "It's just, I'm on some pretty strong medications as it is and I have to be really careful what I mix them with"

He nods at me slightly, but I know he's still hurt. "It's just aspirin"

I pick the pills back up and slide them into my mouth and drink the water out of the glass he's holding.

I decided I should try my best to fix the misunderstanding quickly by finding out what happened last night.

"So clearly I drank too much last night. What else did I do, or need to apologise for?" I ask. Tobias was still looking at me like a kicked puppy.

I raise my eyebrows at him expectantly and tilt my pounding head back down.

"You should really go back to sleep Tris" He said as he headed for the door and slipped out of it before I can say anything more.

I spent the better part of the day in bed, my head finally stoped screaming at me and I was able to get myself up and take a shower and get dressed. I opted for jeans and a shirt, while I'm getting dressed I start to realise I'm starving. I pulled on a hoodie and head down to the cafeteria. I loaded my plate up with food and headed over to our usual table. No one is there, so either everyone had already eaten, or they were in worse shape than I was. I managed to eat a few small mouthfuls of food before my stomach started to protest again and I abandon the food altogether.

I found myself wandering the south west of the compound and my thoughts go back to Tobias. He was clearly displaced earlier and I knew I had to explain more so he understand, but that means explaining everything. I paused in the corridor I was standing in.

"Stop being such a fucking pansycake" I whispered to myself and with new found purpose I pushed myself towards Tobias' apartment.

I knocked on the door softly and prayed that Evelyn wasn't here. Tobias answered the door quicker than I had expected and I hear a laugh from behind him and recognise Zeke's voice.

"Tris" Tobias says as if he's surprised to see me. "Are you okay?" He asks taking in my dishevelled appearance.

"Hangover" I state sheepishly.

He half smirks and me. "Zeke was just leaving, come in" He steps to the side and I see Zeke perched on a couch I've never seen before. I hesitate, but I force myself inside. I can not chicken out of this now.

"Princess" Zeke greets me. "How's the head?"

"Never drinking again" I said while I made myself comfortable on the couch next to Zeke while Tobias sat on the coffee table in front of the both of us.

Tobias and Zeke both laugh. "We've all been there, hangovers are a bitch. You missed your run this morning you know, you owe me some serious pushups for that I hope you know."

"It was my birthday, do I not get a special leave pass or something?" I asked annoyed. I know I missed my run, it's the first time in months that had happened and my whole day had been off because of it. Well that and the fact I couldn't get out of bed until 3pm.

Zeke put his index finger on his chin like he was contemplating the question.

"Okay, you're right, I'll let you off this once. I've got to go anyway, I'm cooking my baby mamma dinner tonight." He got up off the couch and made a beeline for the front door.

"I'll see you both bright and early tomorrow" he winked at the both of us over his shoulder as he opened the door and slipped out leaving Tobias and I along, again.

I tucked one leg under the other so I was sitting on the couch cross legged in front of Tobias. He was looking at me, but I couldn't decipher what was on his mind. I figured it was better jump straight into it, like ripping a bandaid off. If he was going to leave, I was hoping it would be now rather than later. I 'might' be able to survive if he left now… later… later might just kill me.

"I have some things I need to tell you" I said quietly. "Most of it you're not going to like"

Tobias nodded but stayed silent. I got up and head towards the front door, flicking the lock on it and turning out a few of the main lights so I went so it was just the bedroom lamp lighting up the room. If I was going to do this, I didn't want to be interrupted.

I didn't sit back down, instead I opted for pacing back and forth behind the couch. Movement always made me feel slightly better when I was nervous. Tobias is quiet from where he still sits on the coffee table.

"You're going to try and blame yourself" He cocked an eyebrow at me as if to challenge that statement. "Because I know you" I said softly and doesn't challenge any further. "But you can't, because even if you had been here, it's highly possible the same events would still have happened, just differently, and the ending could have been a lot worse."

Tobias eyes were following me back and forth as I paced behind the couch. I momentarily stoped and sucked in a deep breath and turn to face him.

"When I was discharged from the Bureau hospital I was on pain killers, sleeping pills, antidepressants, antipsychotics, pretty much you name it they had me on it."

Tobias nodded so I knew he was listening. "A few weeks after we got back a really bad flu broke out in the compound, everyone was out with it, Tori got hit pretty bad and ended up in the infirmary. Bud was down too, which left me to try and pick up the slack, even though I knew I was getting sick."

I continued to pace again, my nerves getting worse and worse as I clasped my hands in front of me. "I had a stack of requestions to get to Amity so the food orders were still able to come in, but my head was killing me, all my sinuses were blocked and I was having trouble concentrating so I grabbed a handful of Christina's flu tablets and downed them and went back to my office. I must have been in there for a while because I missed dinner."

I paused again and snuck a look at him. He was still starting back at me, his eyes were still unreadable and my stomach tried to launch into my throat. I swallowed hard and willed myself to speak again.

"I don't remember leaving my office, or walking thought the compound. I don't even know how I got in here" I gestured around the room with my hand. I stoped pacing and threw a look at the spot at the end of his bed. I knew there were tears welling up behind my eyes and I begged them not to fall until I was done because the next part was horrible. "I don't know how the knife got in my hand, I don't even remember getting it out of the draw. All I remember is a burning sensation on my wrist and feeling warm." I squeeze my hand over my right wrist right over the tattoo that's covering the scar there. I flitted my eyes back to Tobias, his mouth had parted slightly and he looked like he was in physical pain and it's enough to make the first tear drop onto my cheek.

I dragged my eyes away and looked at the blank wall in front of me instead. "I vaguely remember seeing the blood, feeling its' warmth, but it's more like a really bad dream than a memory." I trailed off trying hard to make my voice loud enough for him to hear. "Zeke found me before I could do anymore damage. He ran into Lauren in the Pit, she had told him I had been acting weird and saw head this way. If he hadn't found me when he did…" I trailed off knowing Tobias didn't need me to elaborate, the conclusion was written all over my face. Tobias didn't move so I continued. "The doctors didn't warn me that the active ingredient in some flu medications when mixed with the medications I was already on cause serious side effects."

Tobias nodded slightly, but I knew he didn't quite understand. "The doctors called it a psychotic episode. My brain switched off and my raw emotions took over. I don't remember anything much, it's all very hazy." Tobias was still looking at me, still being silent. I felt like I had to explain it more, make him understand I didn't purposefully put my life in danger that it the meds, it wasn't me. I was terrified of him leaving.

"Say something" I begged, another tear making it's' escape.

"I don't know what to say" he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Don't leave" I begged.

"Tris"

"Just don't" I said.

He looked pained as he rose from where he sat and crossed the floor in a few easy strides. He grasped me by the shoulders.

"What makes you think I'm going to leave?" He asked staring down at me.

I couldn't trust myself to look him in the eyes so I kept my eyes levelled at his chest. "You told me once if I ever put my life in danger again, that we were done."

"Tris" he sighed my name. "I didn't mean that, I said that when I was mad, I was scared of loosing you, but I never would have…"

"But you did" I cut him off. "You did" My voice was rising with my anger, tears steaming more now. "You left, you left me, just like my parents, you left me" I half screamed half cried. He pulled me into him, my face clashing with his chest his arms encircling me. I tried to fight him slightly, I tried to get away to push him and the pain all away, but it didn't work, he only held on tighter.

"I'm. Not. Leaving" He emphasised each word. "Ever again Tris, I promise." His lips brushed at my hair, but his voice didn't waiver.

I balled my fists up into his shirt and dug my face deeper into his chest, letting the tears flow. They turn into uncontrollable sobs and moans. I was barely standing, only Tobias' arms were keeping me up.

He quickly picked me up, and sat on the bed, me in his lap with his arm draped over my lap, the other rubbing small soothing circles on my back as I unleashed my pain. I cried for my lost parents, I cried for my lost friends, I cried from the memory of Tobias leaving, I cried because I'm so happy he's back.

I cried until I have nothing left, until my throat is sore and my eyes are puffy. I cried until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and I let my mind shutdown and the exhaustion take over.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Thanks to all my recent reviewers, followers and favourites. Special mention to GerdyGertha for leaving me so many encouraging reviews on the last few chapters.

Chapter 19

 _(Tobias)_

Tris' tears soak thought my t-shirt. She went limp in my arms a short time ago, and I know she's asleep. Her grip on my shirt had loosened slightly, but she didn't let go completely. I too am reluctant to let her go, but for her comfort and mine I decided to lay her down so she can rest peacefully.

I shifted slightly so her weight was on the bed instead of me. I had to tug hard on my shirt to get her to let go of it and then I gently rested her head on the pillow, pulling the blue quilt over her lightly. I sat down on the bed next to her, her breaths are even and steady but it takes me a long time to convince myself she's not going to fade away.

I'm not sure how long I watch her sleep for and I don't really care. Whatever I was meant to be doing this tonight is no longer a priority. Tris has her hand curled under the pillow and I can see the black ink on the inside of her wrist. It's not that I didn't notice the tattoo earlier, I just didn't see what it was hiding. I lightly ran my thumb over the tight black scripted letters and I could feel it underneath. My touch was light so I didn't wake her, but I can still feel it.

My heart hammered in my chest like it was about to stop as I thought about how Tris got that scar. If I had been here…no, Tris was right, she still would have got the flu, she still would have taken the flu mediation. But I would have been here, I would have been able to stopped it, wouldn't I?

If I had been here I would more than likely have been held up in the control room, or training room and Zeke would have had no reason to check up on Tris. He would never have found her in time and, and, and I couldn't bring myself to finish that train of thought.

I wanted to punch something, hard. But I didn't want to leave Tris. I didn't want Tris to wake up and me not be there, I didn't want her to think I had left, again. Instead I pull out my tablet and flick a quick message to Zeke saying that I needed to see him, but to knock quietly, and that I would explain when he got here.

About half an hour later a small knock on my door made me jump. I quietly rushed to the door and usher Zeke inside indicating I wanted him to be quiet and towards my bed where Tris was still fast asleep.

Zeke looked between me and Tris a few times.

"So, she told you?" Zeke comes to a conclusion after a few moments.

"Yeah" is all I can say.

"How'd she take it?"

"Well, she cried herself to sleep" I motion towards the bed.

Zeke furrowed his brow at turned to me. "So? How'd you take it?"

I shook my head at him and looked at the foot of my bed.

"Not some factinonless accident then?" I asked, accusation etched in my voice.

"Look man" He kept his words soft, but I could hear the strength in them. "You had just got back, what I was I meant to say, oh my bad, I forgot to clean up the mess you're girlfriend made when she tried to kill herself? That's not what you needed to hear, and not who you needed to hear it from." I nod at him. He's right, this was Tris' story to tell. "Look, maybe you should go hit it out or something? I can stay with her if you want." I shook my head again.

"No, I'm not leaving, I promised her I wouldn't"

Zeke puffed air out of his lungs. "Okay, how about I go up and grab some paperwork for you? At least you can keep your mind on something else for now until she wakes up?"

"Thanks" I nod as he turns for the door.

"Zeke" I say slightly louder this time and he turned back around to face me. "Thank you. For what you did that night and for taking care of her, for being here when I chose not to be. I can't…" I trailed off unable to contain the emotions instead I pulled him into a hug. Zeke hugs me back for a brief moment before we pull apart.

"It's what brothers do, you know, making sure no one messes with you or your stuff. But now you're back" He nods at Tris. "I'm handing it all back. But I have to warn you, you hurt her again and I will fuck you up, brother or not." His tone is almost joking, but his face betrays his honesty behind that threat.

"You won't need too, it's not going to happen" I assured him.

"I'll go grab some paperwork" I smiled as he closed the door behind him and I train my attention back to the sleeping beauty in my bed.

A few hours later I was still pouring over a report on new member population versus the amity food production when I finally noticed that Tris was awake. I looked up at her and her bright blue grey eyes are staring back at me. We stayed that way for a moment before she broke the silence.

"You're still here" she whispered, her voice thick with sleep.

"I live here" I replied with a half smile.

"You know what I mean" Tris' eyes didn't leave me as I placed the report I had been reading down on the table and stood up from the table. I slowly headed over to where she was lying on the bed. I made my movements slow, giving her time to protest, but she didn't.

I sat on the edge of the bed next to her. Tris rolled over onto her back so she could look at me, her eyes were still following my every move.

"I told you Tris, I'm not going anywhere" I said, I'll say it a million times if I have to. "What do I have to do to convince you of that?" I asked, not out of frustration but out of desire. I want her in my life, I want us to be together, but I know that won't happen if she can't forgive me, if she can't trust me. I needed to know what I can do to gain her trust.

"Tobias" She said my name with a sigh and my heart starts to speed up. I know I'm loosing her, I know she's about to jump up, out of my bed, out of my apartment, out of my life and I can't let that happen. I can't live without her, so before I know what I was doing I pull out my trump card.

"Marry me" I say a little breathlessly.

Tris eyes widen like and her mouth drops open in sheer surprise. "What?" She asked, her voice not far above a whisper as she wriggled herself up into a sitting position.

"Marry me" I repeated the words, this time they come out the way I want them to sound; strong, sure, absolute.

Tris shook her head at me. "No" She said and it felt like a knife though my heart. She must have noticed the pain on my face because she's quick to try and explain. "Not like this" she said as her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes closed.

I got up off the bed immediately, not sure what to do, or even what to say. The idea was stupid, what did I expect her to say? I walked over to the couch and grabbed the back of it to try and steady myself. I took in a deep breath and tried to expel the tightness in my chest, but before I could let the breath out, Tris' arms were wrapped around my waist and I was frozen in place.

Somehow Tris managed to wriggle herself between me and the couch, ducking under my arms so she was standing right in front of me, her front was pressed up against me and the couch was at her back, my arms on either side of her.

"Look at me" she commanded, but I couldn't move eyes down enough to meet hers. "Tobias" she said again as her small hand reached for my face, her hand finding my chin, her index finger and thumb pulling my head down to her. "No, as in not now, this isn't right, we aren't even together and I'm a mess" she said as she shook her head.

I sighed heavily and let the tension shake out of my chest and shoulders. The task was made easier with Tris body so close to mine, her hand was still lingering on my face. She's right. I know she's right, but I don't know what else to do.

"So, what we do now?" I asked. Tris took her lower lip in between her teeth and for a moment we were both silent, our bodies still pressed against each other. Tris hand moved from my face and instead she rested it with her other one on my chest. I'm not sure if she was steading herself, or tying to push herself closer into my body. Either way, it was almost enough to make other parts of me respond.

"We try again" she said after a few moments, her voice sounding confident as she looked up at me, directly into my eyes. "We start from the beginning, we do the things we should have been able to do if the war had never happened. We build the trust."

I swallowed hard thinking about all the times she lied to me, the time she left for Erudite, then again when she went there with my father. I wanted her to trust me just as much as I wanted to be able to trust her.

I nod slowly. "That's not a bad idea" I said trying my best to sound smooth but her body was still making other parts of me almost twitch and I wonder how much longer I was going to be able to stand this way with her.

"I need to know something first, and I want you to be honest with me." I nodded and suddenly my stomach dropped a little wondering where she was going with this. Tris sucked in a deep breath as I held onto mine. "Has there been anyone else?" her eyes dropped from my face as she spoke and instead her gaze was at my shirt.

I wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the question, instead I let the earlier fear disappear and I gave her a small smile. I repeated her actions from earlier, my hand reached out for her chin, my index finger and my thumb pushed her face up to meet mine. "Tris, there has never been anyone but you, there never will be, I love you" I said it with determination in my voice.

Tris closed her eyes letting my words sink in. When she opened them again they are filled with unshed tears, and for a second I was worried I had upset her, until her hands are balled up in my shirt and she was pulling me down towards her. Our lips crashed together in a heated mess, she tasted like salt, and I realise her tears are mixed with our lips. I let go of the back of the couch and grabbed onto her hips, pushing her back harder against the couch as I deepened the kiss. Tris responded by running her tongue lightly over my bottom lip and I sighed into her mouth.

It took this small action to kick start my body back into responding to Tris the way it always has. My mind concurred up how easily it would be to push her back, just a little further, lying her down on the my new couch and worshiping every single part of her body I had been missing these past months. Her hands were roaming over my body, flitting up and under my shirt to run across my stomach, and I couldn't think anymore my instincts took over and I was lightly lifting her up and onto the edge of the couch so her legs were parted and I was fitted perfectly in between them.

Tris was pulling at my shirt and I knew she was requesting for it to come off, and I was so close to obeying, to giving in, when my brain kicked back in and reminded me about her earlier suggestion. I knew it wouldn't be right, not yet anyway, we needed to start again. The guy part of me was mentally smacking the rational side of me as I pulled away slightly from Tris and slowly pulled my shirt back down.

Tris looked up at me confusion etched across her face. She looked so sexy and I couldn't help but bend down and place a soft kiss behind her ear. "This isn't starting again, this is skipping a few vital steps" I said into her ear, my lips brushing across her earlobe as I pulled myself back up.

To my amusement Tris laughed. The way her eyes sparkled, the flush of her pink cheeks, the swell of her lips were all turning me on more and more I had to step away from her before my other instincts won and started to take over again.

Tris slipped off the back of the couch and stood in front of me again. "So? How do we do this?" She asked me looking around the room as if she was suddenly nervous.

"We do exactly what we would have done, we go on a date." I knew she was about to tell me we went on a date, but to me that didn't count. "One where we aren't obstructed by a war torn city" I added.

Tris nodded. "Okay, when?" She asked a small smile on her face. My heart leapt at the enthusiasm in her voice.

"Tomorrow night, are you free then?" I suggested.

She rolled her eyes. "My social calendar is a little lacking; I seem to be too busy being a psychotic mess."

"You are not a psychotic mess Tris" I hated hearing her speak about herself like that.

"Not today anyway, I'm just a hungover mess" I shake my head, she looks amazing to me.

"Okay, tomorrow night, I'll come and get you about 8?" I asked

"It's a date" she smiled at me and I was suddenly very excited at the prospect of taking her on a real date.

"I should go, check on Christina" she said as she headed for my apartment door. I watch her as she goes, my eyes glued to her extremely well toned behind.

"Tobias" she abruptly turned as she reached my front door.

"Yeah?"

"One day" she said as a small smile crosses her face. "Ask me again"

I couldn't help the smile that broke out on my face and nod at her as she slipped out of my apartment.

A/N: After I wrote this chapter I felt like this would be a fitting ending for the story. I do have some more ideas though so I'm not sure if I'm going to leave this here and write some one-shots, or if I'll continue this story. Either way I'm in the middle of moving, so you will all have to excuse me if there aren't any more updates for a few days. Let me know your thoughts.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Okay so due to popular demand the story continues. I've written the next chapter, but I have to edit it first before uploading so in the mean time enjoy chapter 20. As always let me know what you think.

Chapter 20

 _(Tris)_

It's after lunch the next day that I found myself in my office with Zeke, Uriah and Tobias. We had been going over the final roster for the ER teams, but it was taking a few hours of us debating until we had narrowed down the final members and how the roster will work. Zeke and Tobias keep putting up the argument that Edward is too unstable to be on anyone's team, which was annoying me. In am just as, if not more, unstable that Edward, yet they seemed perfectly okay for me to be leading a team, leading a faction.

I huffed in annoyance as they both went back over the list to see if there is a suitable replacement. Uriah seemed indifferent to the decision, instead he was working though the pile of paperclips on my desk, making a never ending chain of them.

If I had to be honest my mind really was elsewhere. Instead of the ER teams it kept drifting off to my impending date with Tobias that night. I had no idea where we were going or what he had planned which was making me a little nervous, and anxious to get this meeting over with. My frustration was winning out.

"Enough!" I shouted over both Zeke and Tobias. "It's my team, it's my project, I make the final decisions, and I say Edward is stable enough and he will be placed on my team as 2IC." Neither Zeke nor Tobias said anything as I gathered up the papers on my desk to indicate the meeting was over.

"You're pulling rank?" Zeke asked me like it's the most ridiculous thing ever.

"Yes" I say bluntly. Tobias threw me a look. I knew what he's thinking, that he could go straight to Tori and Bud and have them side with him and I would have no choice but to pander. But I knew he wouldn't, not while he was trying so hard to regain my trust. Besides, I knew his dislike of Edward was because he was jealous, not that he thought Edward was unstable, anymore.

"You're the boss" Zeke said while saluting me and rising from his chair. "Come on dufus, let's go get a beer" He said to Uriah and they wandered out of my office leaving Tobias and I alone.

"Really?" I asked while looking at him. Tobias just shrugged and started to twirl a pen in between his fingers like it was a throwing knife.

I puffed out a sigh and rubbed my temples with my index fingers. When I looked back up Tobias had an amused look on his face. I rolled my eyes at him and glanced at the clock. It was 5:30pm already and I still had a few things to do, which included showering.

"Okay, out!" I said pointing at my office door. "I have a date to get ready for."

"You're the boss" He said, while copying Zeke's salute with an added smirk and he retreated from my office, closing the door behind him.

It was then I remembered I had meant to ask him how casually I should dress for tonight, or I guess how dressed up I should be. I knew Christina would have already picked out numerous outfits for me to wear, but I didn't want to pick the wrong one. What if he had jumping onto a speeding train in mind and I decided to wear a cocktail dress? Unlikely, but still possible.

I sank back in my chair and pulled my tablet towards me, opening the message thread Tobias and I had.

 _Tris: I forgot to ask, what are we doing tonight?_

 _Tobias: That's for me to know and you to find out_

I sigh in frustration.

 _Tris: I'm being serious, how am I meant to know what to wear?_

 _Tobias: Wear whatever makes you comfortable_

 _Tris: You're no help!_

 _Tobias: ;-)_

I placed the tablet back down and finished off the paperwork, loading the final roster into the system and sending it to Tori and Bud for their stamp of approval before sending it out to the member list. It was another hour before I left my office. My tablet pinged 4 times before I even reach the elevator. Each message was a hurry up from Christiana who was apparently waiting at my front door.

I got up to my floor and found her waiting by my front door, her arms full of clothes and a makeup bag hanging off her wrist.

"About time, how long can paperwork take, really?" she all but stamped her foot.

I just shook my head and offered her a weak smile. I was so tried, I could have curled up into a ball and slept for a few hours, but I quickly reminded myself about Tobias and our impending date and I was suddenly wired again.

"So, where is he taking you?" Christina asked me while she started to unpack the clothing she had brought up onto my bed.

"He won't tell me"

"What?! Agh, so how are you meant to dress?"

"He told me to wear whatever was comfortable." I shruged.

Christina snorted. "You think PJ's are comfy" I smiled at her as if I was considering her suggestion.

"No! NO fucking way Tris you are not wearing PJ's." I laughed at her reaction and headed towards my bathroom to shower. I took my time, ensuring I had shaved off all my unwanted body hair. I smoothed some pretty smelling lotion Christina gave me all over my body and dressed in some comfortable underwear. I didn't see the need to put on anything fancy, after all it was Tobias who reminded me we had a lot of work to do before we could even entertain the thought of spending the night together again. I brushed my hair and took my required medication before I walked out to my bedroom where Christina was attempting to put together a casual and comfortable outfit.

I glance at the clock, 7:30pm, I knew Tobias wouldn't be late.

"Chris calm down, jeans, black top, black heeled boots. Jacket I guess."

Christina mulled over my suggestion and threw her hands up in the air. "Fine! But this top, not that one" She said as she thrust a top at me while yanking the other one I had in my grasp out of my hands. I rolled my eyes at her and shimmed into the top she handed me. It fit well, long sleeved and a deep v-neck which showed my collar bones and corresponding raven tattoos. I wiggle into my favourite jeans and went in search of my black square heeled boots. Once I was dressed, Christina sat me down on the edge of the bed and within moments she had my hair placed in a perfectly positioned high ponytail with a slight teased look at the front. Overall it was pretty amazing.

Christina then went to work on my face, adding eyeliner and mascara over my eyes and a touch of plain gloss to my lips. I took a quick look in the mirror. I look strong, alive, pretty. I didn't get much further into my inner thoughts because there was a knock at the front door.

I glanced at Christina suddenly I was so nervous I wasn't sure I could make it to the door.

"Don't" She said. "Come on this is just Four, remember how you feel about him and it'll all come naturally"

"Thanks Chris" I said and I gave her a quick squeeze before heading out towards the front door.

"Jacket" she called across the living room and tossed me my favourite leather jacket as I glide towards the front door. I quickly slipped the jacket on and took a deep breath.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: So I'm meant to be packing, however as this is my second update in 12 hours clearly I'm procrastinating. I've already written another chapter too, but you all will have to wait till I find time to edit and post it. Moving day is Friday so I may go into radio silence for a few days. So go on send me reviews!

Chapter 21

 _(Tobias)_

I looked at my watch again as I approached Tris' front door, it was 8 on the dot so I lift my hand and knock a few times. I adjust the collar on my navy blue polo shirt and try to displace the butterflies that have settled in my stomach. It takes a few moments for the door to rattle and it opens and she's standing in front of me. My mouth dropped open a little as I take her in. She looked amazing, the tight black top she had on plunged down low enough to show a fair bit of cleavage, which I could defiantly get used to. I promptly closed my mouth and flashed her the biggest smile I can muster, which is pretty easy to given the way she was looking at me.

"You look, amazing" I said.

"Thanks" She replied as she gave me the once over, her eyes lingered on my wrist watch for a moment.

"I didn't know you owned a watch" she mused.

"I'm full of surprises" I countered. I offered her my arm, an old abnegation tradition. "Shall we?"

She nodded and laughed a little but placed her arm around mine.

I lead her down the hallway and to the elevator and pushed the button for the doors to open.

"So where are we going?" Tris asked her arm still wrapped warmly around mine as we both stepped into the elevator.

"Up" Is all I said as I pushed the button on the elevator to the 10th floor, which I knew had roof access. Tris looked at me surprised but didn't say anything.

 _(Tris)_

Tobias pushed the button to the 10th floor and I was completely surprised, I didn't know there was anything up there. Last I knew it was being used as storage because there were no windows or ventilation up there.

We were both quiet on the short ride up and the furrow of Tobias' brow reminded about his fear of confined spaces. It amazed me how he managed to go in and out of this elevator as much as he did. I squeezed onto his arm a little harder to let him know he was okay.

As the doors opened he smiled at me and we both stepped out. I hadn't been wrong about the storage situation. The floor was covered with boxes and a tick layer of dust coated everything. I sneeze a few times as Tobias guided me though the dark dodging boxes until we reached a door marked 'Roof Access'. I'm still confused as he pushed the door open and leads me though it.

As I stepped though the door it was almost like I was transported to another world. The roof top was covered in green plants and colourful flowers. They were in huge pots on the ground and in planter baskets hanging from a long wire that surrounded the entire roof top permitter. The wire had tiny fairy lights strung around it lighting up the entire roof top. In the centre of all of plants a large mat had been spread out, and it was covered in huge colourful cushions. A large basket sits in the middle. I was in awe, and the smile on my face proved it.

"You like it?" Tobias asked cautiously.

"Like it? I love it! How did you do all this?" I asked marvelling at the scene before me, my fingers lightly touching over the petal of a nearby rose.

"I had a little help, called in a few favours."

"It's amazing" I couldn't help but lean up and place a soft kiss on his lips. "Thank you"

"The nights not over, don't thank me yet" He winked and I laughed.

Tobias guided me over to the cushions on the mat and we both sat down. He opened the basket in front of us and I could see it as full of foods and drinks I had never seen before.

"Have you been flirting with the kitchen staff?" I asked giving him a suspicious look.

He chuckled "Maybe". I just shook my head at him.

Tobias spread out a few different foods and handed me a paper plate.

"I thought as we are trying something new, why not try some new foods together. Learn each others likes and dislikes."

"Okay" I said a little shyly. I always thought I knew Tobias, I knew his fears, I knew his beliefs, I knew how his tattoo wrapped around his rib cage. It wasn't until now I realize I didn't know his favourite food, his favourite colour and I guessed he didn't know that about me either.

Tobias poured out a few different drinks into a few different plastic cups and sat them in front of me. I scrunched up my nose, my most recent hangover still very fresh in my mind.

"Non-alcoholic, I promise" He supplied as he took in my face.

"Good, I'm not in a hurry to repeat that any time soon… if ever"

He laughed at me again and I realize that I was seeing a different side of him, the one I got a glimpse of that time we were held up in Marcus' house in Abnegation with Factionless. This was who Tobias was underneath his outer Dauntless soldier shell. This was the man I fell in love with.

We loaded up our plates full of different foods and proceed to taste each one at the same time, giving each other feed back on how we thought it tasted and if we wanted more. Tobias loved the dark chocolate, and I figured out he had a bit of a sweet tooth. I enjoyed the stuffed pitted olives so much that I ate half the jar on my own. We both decided the sodas were far too sweet, both of us growing up with just water and tea.

We finished all the food and dinks and packed it all back up into the basket again. Tobias pulled out a small lantern from the basket and I wondered why we needed it because the roof was lit up by the fairy lights.

"You're not scared of the dark, so this should be okay" He said and he clicked a remote he's retrieved from his jeans pocket and the lights suddenly went out. For a moment we were surrounded in darkness until Tobias flicked on the small lantern and it offered a soft glow.

Tobias pulled the cushions around us a bit more and placed two large ones directly behind us.

"Lie down" he said softly and for a moment my heart beat sped up. "And look up" He finished. I shot him a look before I slowly laid myself down, with my back and head on the cushion and I found myself looking directly up.

It was a clear night and the stars from this hight were so clear and bright, it was breathtaking.

"Wow, I've never seen them so bright before, it's beautiful." I said as Tobias mimics my movements and laid down next to me. We were close enough to each other that his hand skimmed over mine. I took his hand and lace our fingers together. Tobias turned his head and looked at me looking at the sky, I could see him out of my peripheral vision.

"I agree, very beautiful" he said still looking at me. I turned my head so I could look at him. He looked relaxed, it was such a rare sight I wanted to take advantage of it. I leant my forehead against his and we stayed close like that for a moment.

"Thank you, this is perfect"

"You're perfect" He replied. I shook my head at him.

"I'm hardly perfect Tobias"

"To me, you are" and his lips found mine. It was a soft kiss but full of emotion. We broke apart and he looked up again to the sky.

"See those three stars over there?" He pointed and I tried to line up where he was pointing. It took me a few moments but I saw the three stars he meant, they were in a sort of horizontal pattern.

"That's call Orion's Belt, and the group of stars there is called Phoenix. According to legend the birds burn to ashes and then rise again in a new age" He said while pointing to another group of stars.

"Like the city did" I mused looking at him.

"Like we have, like we will" the look of hope on his face wasn't missed by me, but I was still worried.

I sat up, afraid that he would see the uncertainty in my eyes.

"Tris?" He asked and sat up also. "What is it?" I shook my head. I didn't want to ruin such perfect night. "Tris" He said again his voice gentle, his hand found mine again. I looked down at my small hand in his. "We can't do this trust thing if you won't talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. Did I do something, say something?" I looked up at him.

"No, no Tobias this is all, I love it" I reassured him.

"Then what is it?" I sighed. I knew he was right. If I wanted him to trust me to talk to me about things, I couldn't keep them bottled up myself.

"We haven't talked much about what I told you the other day." I said it quietly because I was afraid if I talked too loud all of this would melt away.

Tobias didn't let go of my hand, if anything his grip tightened.

"What do you want me to say Tris?"

"I don't know" I said honestly. "I thought you'd be mad, or worried that I was too unstable"

He shook his head at me, confusion evident on his face. "Why would you think that Tris?"

"Because I'm still on some of the meds, I still have to see psychiatrist, I'm still being babied by everyone."

"I don't want to baby you, and I don't care about the meds or any of that." He let out a deep breath and continued. "I won't lie, I've thought about it more than you'd probably like, but I came to the same conclusion each time. If I had been here, things could have been different, worse. I don't want us to keep focusing on the past, I want us to look forward, to the future. I don't care about the past anymore, about any of it. I just care about you, and I won't do anything to jeopardise your health or your safety ever again." I drew in a deep breath and closed my eyes as he continued. "The choices you made weren't smart, and they put your life in danger, more than once, but I understand now why you made them, and it wasn't fair of me to threaten you then. I will never say anything like that again, as long as you promise to talk to me, tell me what's going on, even if you think it's stupid or crazy or that I won't understand. Can you do that?"

Could I do that? I thought about how much I loved him. How much it hurt to have him disappear from my life, what it did to me, how it made me feel when he came back. I nodded at him, opening my eyes and meeting his. "I can do that" and for third time his lips were on mine.

We stayed on the roof a few more hours, Tobias tried to teach me about the constellations and we talked about the changes to our faction and the rest of the city. I tried to stifle my yawn with my hand but it didn't go unnoticed.

"You're tired, come on, let's get you home" Tobias said as he rose from his position on the cushions and offered me his hands. I gladly accepted them and he hurled me up, hard enough I for me to go crashing against him. His arms were quick to circle my waist and his lips were quick to kiss mine again.

"You've got no idea how much I've missed being able to do that" he whispered into my ear and it sent goosebumps down my neck.

"I think I might know a bit about that" I whispered back to him as he placed soft kisses below my ear and along my jaw.

He mumbled "Hmmmmm" against my neck as traced his way back up reaching for my lips again but before he could get there I let out another yawn.

Tobias laughed, his hands left me and as he went to collect the basket before he laced his free hand with mine and within moments we were back in the elevator. We got off on my floor and walked quietly to my front door. I pushed my thumb to the plate and the door unlocked, but before I could make a move to open it Tobias' hand held me in place.

"This is where I say goodnight"

I couldn't help but be a bit disappointed. I knew we are nowhere near that step yet, but I was still reluctant to let him go. My disappointment must shown on my face because Tobias smirked at me. "As much as I'm struggling to say it, that wouldn't be taking it slow"

He leant down into me and kissed me once more, it was the same as all our other kisses we had shared this evening, light and gentle but with promise. I was the first to break it so I could speak.

"Thank you, for tonight, it was amazing" his smile is also amazing.

"You are very welcome, I hope this means I can sweep you off your feet again. Next week maybe? Same day, same time?" He asked, hopeful.

"Defiantly" I nodded.

"Goodnight Beatrice" he said and my real name leaving his lips sounds so good I'm left biting my lower lip as he disappeared down the hall and back into the elevator.


	22. Chapter 22

AN: Hello! I'm sorry for the delay in this update, but as I said, I moved house, kids in tow and things have been hectic. Busy life of a working mum. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, you are all awesome and make my day.

This chapter was deleted three times and re-written three times as I changed my mind as to what was going to happen. It all came down to how I could tie this into the few future chapters I've already written and the "Big" thing that's going to happen shortly.

Chapter 22

 _(Tris)_

The following morning we go for our usual morning run, however I had so much energy that I dragged Zeke and Tobias up the hill near the fence line.

"You're willingly going to run up this thing?" Zeke asked as the three of us hovered at the bottom.

"Yeah" I say a little out of breath.

"Without lip?" Zeke asked again.

"Yeah" I repeated my answer.

"What did you do to her last night?" Zeke said as he turned to Tobias. Tobias just smirked and shrugged. I rolled my eyes at both of them before I took a step forward to take on the hill. Tobias' hand reached out for mine stopping me. I looked down at my shoelaces, they were both done up nice and tight.

"How's your ankle?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.

"It's fine, Zeke strapped it before we left." I smiled. Tobias was always aware, always thinking, always thinking about others.

He lifted my hand to his mouth and brushed his lips against it, which sent goosebumps down my arm and warmed me up deep down inside.

"After you" He said as he motioned for the hill that Zeke was already halfway up. I shook my head at him and took up off the hill keeping a steady pace. And just has he had done last time Tobias kept close to my side, matching my pace.

It felt good to be running out all my energy even if I was exhausted from little to no sleep. After Tobias had dropped me back at my apartment last night I was so energized I couldn't sleep even though I knew I was tired. I took my allotted dose of sleeping pills, and they worked, but as always my dreams turned into vivid nightmares and I was once again lying in bed awake, drenched in a cold sweat.

We finished off our run, following the same route as we always did back to the compound. It was Monday so we were off to a group training session with members of the ER teams we selected. We rounded the final corner and I spotted Christina and Uriah waiting for us like normal, only Edward seemed to be missing.

"Where's Edward?" I asked.

"No idea, Blondie didn't show." Uriah shrugged.

"Maybe he's sick?" Christina provided.

I shrugged at both of them, maybe they were right, but I couldn't help but feel a little concerned. Our group entered the training room and I spotted Edward working on a punching bag at the far side of the gym. We hadn't spoken since that night in the chasm when we fought and I wanted to mend things.

"Hey" I said casually trying to get his attention away from the bag.

"Hey yourself" he said flashing me a smile. "You haven't been around lately." he asked stopping his punches mid-swing and turned his attention towards me. His eyes glanced back at the entrance and I knew he had spotted Tobias talking with Zeke.

"Yeah, work is keeping me busy. Did you get my message about the ER Teams?" I asked as Edward leant himself against the punching bag and looked me up and down.

"I did. Second in command huh? Bet that wasn't easy to manage" He motioned with his head towards Zeke and Tobias.

I shrugged not wanting to get into that right now. Edward turned his attention back to the punching bag.

"They are doing this snow night thing in the club Wednesday night, you should come down. Tony assures me it's going to be freezing, should be a nice change." He said as he began to throw punches at the bag again.

"I'm not big on the drinking after my last hangover and I'm all kinds of exhausted, but yeah, snow sounds fun. I'll see you there." I offered. I didn't want to loose Edward's friendship just because Tobias was back. Edward was there for me when Tobias wasn't and I enjoyed his company.

"Don't forget a coat" He flashed one last smile at me before I went back to talk to Zeke.

Zeke raised his eyebrows at me as I approached. Tobias was still standing next to him stretching out his arms. I wanted to talk to Zeke about the rankings, and how I had come up with an idea to ensure Tobias and I would never be in the same situation as we had on Tobias' first day training with us.

My eyes flitted between Zeke and Tobias a few times before I let out a sigh and figured I should just come out with it. Tobias was bound to find out from Zeke and I didn't want him to start thinking I was keeping things from him.

"About the rankings" I started focusing on Zeke. "I don't want mine published anymore"

"Tris" Tobias said and I could tell he was disappointed.

"No" I snapped at him. "This is my decision, my choice. I know I'm awesome and I don't need my name flashed on a score board to prove it. That's not what I run drills for."

"Like I said earlier Princess, you're the boss" Zeke smiled.

"Though, if and when I finally kick his ass" I tilt my head towards Tobias. "I want to know"

"Ah there's that competitive steak I was looking for. Alright kids, show time" Zeke said as he stepped away from us, his tablet in his hand.

"You don't have to do this"

"Tobias" I say firmly at him. "I don't have to do anything. I chose to do this. There are more important things to me than a stupid ranking."

"More important things?" he asked arching an eyebrow at me.

"Yes" I say nodding my head. He left it at that and resumed stretching out his arms while we both headed over to where Zeke was about to give his usual introductory speech.

"Not sure how I'm going to go today, I didn't exactly get much sleep last night" Tobias had leant in and whispered in my ear while Zeke paced up the front, his arms waving dramatically around to prove his points.

"Same" I said, grimacing. Tobias' face shot down into a frown.

"I thought you had a good time" He whispered again deflated.

"No, no I did, Tobias, I really did. It's just" I trailed off, my eyes flitting to Zeke who was still pacing up the front.

Tobias was looking at me, waiting for me to continue and I was reminded again about how we promised not to keep things from each other. "I don't sleep very well in general, even with the medication" I answered looking away embarrassed.

Tobias' hand came up to tuck a loose piece of hair behind my ear and his hands skimmed over my cheek making me look back towards him.

"I understand" He whispered. The way his eyes were looking at me, like I was the only person in the room, the only person in the world made my heart melt into a puddle. I desperately wanted to kiss him, to press myself up against him, to tug at his shirt and rip it off so I could trail my fingers along the flames that engulfed his ribs and back, but the room full of people was quick to douse those flames and thoughts. Tobias was looking at me like he was mirroring my thoughts. A loud clap from the front of the room startled both of us out of it.

"Tris, Four? Something you want to share with the rest of the group?" Zeke asked, fake annoyance in his voice. Everyone turned to look at us and I had to resist the urge to hide my embarrassed face.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you Zeke" Tobias replied, humour in his voice. The group in front of us all laugh. I laughed too and Zeke rolls his eyes.

"Right, let's get started. Round it off people, groups of 5." Zeke commanded from his position in front of us as the group begun to round off numbers from 1 to 5 to put us in our drill groups. This method also ensured Tobias and I were in different groups because we were standing next to each other.

Not that I was complaining about that in any way. Being this close to Tobias put all my senses on edge and my concentration levels were almost zero. I shook my head at myself and wandered off to join my group. I was stuck doing burpee and suicide drills first which I hated, but I got through them and the rest of the drills, before I had my turn on the fast track.

I wasn't surprised when I saw Tobias and Edward ranked 1st and 2nd and I shot Zeke a nervous look. These two in the ring, it wasn't going to be pretty and I was worried about one of them being seriously hurt. Neither had much reign on their tempers, and as strong as I knew Edward was, he has nothing on the damage Tobias could inflict.

Everyone circled around the ring, and I place myself next to Zeke worried etched over my face. Tobias looked at me quickly an emotion I couldn't name flashed across his face.

"I forfeit" he said and nodded towards Edward before he quickly left the ring. Zeke and I are quick on his heels as he headed towards the men's locker room. Zeke barged in while I hesitated at the door.

"What the fuck was that?" I could hear Zeke yell.

"That was me keeping my anger under control." Tobias replied his voice was slightly muffled.

"Bullshit, that was you being a fucking coward."

"I could have killed him Zeke, I wanted to kill him. The way he looks at her, I could snap his neck before he even knew it was coming. Is that what you want?" Tobias voice was getting louder and louder the more he spoke.

"Don't be fucking ridiculous"

"I can't trust myself and until I can I'm not fighting anyone. I won't turn into him."

"Well there goes your reputation" Zeke's voice filtered though the door.

"Fuck my reputation" Tobias spat back at him.

Zeke snorted. "You really have changed"

There was a long pause before Tobias spoke again. "She makes me want to be a better person." I bit down on my lower lip at his admission. The Abnegation in me was reminded me that this really wasn't a conversation I should have been privy too, but I couldn't seem to walk away from the locker room door.

Edward pulled me from my thoughts and the conversation that's happening on the other side of the door by sliding up to my side.

"Well that was a let down, my chance to fight the legendary Four and he chickens out like a pansycake."

"You don't know what you're talking about Edward" I glared at him.

Edward put his hands up in mock defence. "Hey it's not my fault your boyfriend's a coward." It took me less than two seconds to react and before I knew it my forearm was pressed against Edward and I had pushed him back against the wall, increasing the pressure on his windpipe. Edward was so surprised he was unable to get a grip on my arm. I knew he was already struggling to breath, and I didn't care, I pressed harder into his windpipe and his face started to turn a shade of red I've never seen.

Somehow we grabbed the attention of the rest of the group because I could hear someone shouting my name from across the gym. It wasn't until two firm hands were grabbing me around the waist and lifting me off the ground that I realised what I was doing.

I was lifted and dragged away from Edward as he slumped to the ground.

"Tris calm down" Tobias' voice struggled to break me out of my anger. "Tris?!" He said my name again and leant down to meet me directly in the eyes. His eyes broke the trance and I glanced back towards Edward. Christina was kneeling next to him as he struggled to breath normally again and the realisation of what I did hit me.

The irony of it wasn't missed on me. Tobias was trying so hard to control his anger and here I was unable to control my own. I tried to shake myself out of Tobias' grip, angry at myself, but his hands stayed firm.

"Don't touch me!" I snapped at him and his hands automatically drop to his sides and he took a small step back.

"Calm down" He said again quietly. I draw in a deep breath and close my eyes hoping it was all just a stupid nightmare, but when I opened them again, Tobias was still standing in front of me, a pained expression on his face and Edward was being helped off the ground by Uriah and Christina.

"I need to get out of here" I whispered. Tobias nodded and headed towards the closest exit door out of the gym.

Tobias led me down a small hallway I had never been in before. He opened an old wooden door and ushered me in. It was a small room, a utility room of some sort. Dust covered everything and I wondered if anyone had been in here the past 10 years. The room was small and I worried about Tobias and his fear of confident.

"Are you okay?" I asked him in a quiet voice.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that? What was that Tris?"

I shook my head. "I don't know" I admitted. "He… He just, said something and I don't know, I just reacted."

I could hear Tobias draw in a deep breath but I kept my eyes cast at his feet unable to bring myself to see the disappointment in his face.

"Maybe we should just cool things down for a while."

My eyes snap up to his instantly. "What?" I ask.

"I don't think I'm helping you, I don't want to hinder your recovery and I don't want to be a bad influence on you either."

"You don't want to be with me?" I asked shocked and confused.

"No, Tris, that's not what I'm saying" Tobias took a small step towards me and I pulled back away from him. "I just think maybe I'm pushing this" He indicated between the two of us with his hand "too far too fast without taking your recovery into account"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Because I'm all kinds of fucked up right? You said you didn't care about all that, that you could handle this"

"I'm not saying I can't, but maybe you're the one who's not coping Tris. I think you need to concentrate more on yourself for a while, on your training, on your recovery."

"You're just going to leave again aren't you?" I spat the words at him like I had ingested some kind of poison.

A look of shock crossed Tobias' face and before I could even blink out the first tear his arms were gripping my shoulders. "I'm not going anywhere Tris" I still couldn't bring myself to look at him, partly because I was afraid I would see the lie behind the words.

Tobias moved his right hand off my shoulder and placed it under my chin, pushing my face up to meet his. I squeezed my eyes closed tightly as the tears push out the sides of each of my eyes. "Look at me" He commands in his gentle but firm tone. "Beatrice" he said my name and I opened my eyes to stare into his. "I'm not leaving, I just think you need to focus on yourself for a while, on your recovery and stop letting me be a distraction for you."

I tore myself from his grip. "So what? That's it, we've over, you're not even going to try like you said you would?"

"No!" He snapped. "You're not listening to me!" He ran his hands though his hair and I could see his was frustrated as I was.

I tried to push down the anger, the irrationalness that seemed to have taken over and tried to reason with my subconscious.

"Okay" I said, urging him to go on. He threw a look at me like he was waiting for me to blow up again, but continues on anyway.

"I'm not going to run with you and Zeke anymore, or train with the main group. I don't want to be a distraction or an influence on you. I want you to focus on yourself."

I nodded to show I was at least listening.

There was an uncomfortable silence that I wasn't used to. Tobias shifted his weight like he was getting ready to take flight. "I'm still picking you up on Friday night for our date, if you still want me to" he flashed me a small smile and it was sexy as hell, but I couldn't bring myself to say or do anything in response. I was angry. Angry at him, angry at myself, angry at Edward. I was angry and worried that I would say or do something that will end things completely with Tobias. So instead I turned and rushed out the door before he had time to stop me. I ran back down the hallway and burst back into the training room. Everyone stoped and looked at me for a moment before going back to their drills. I threw a heated look towards Zeke, who was in the far corner of the gym before running back out the main door and into the main compound before the rushed footsteps from behind me could catch up.

AN: I would like to take a moment to address the mention of antidepressants in this story. In no way do I mean to correlate antidepressants and uppers. I understand the difference and in this story (which is set in the future) Tris is on a mixture of different medications, some of which are completely made up as they are futuristic. Antidepressants are no laughing joke, and I myself have been on them from time to time so I'm well aware of the stigma around them.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: I'm sorry this has taken so long to update. Real life is currently chaos. This was also the hardest chapter to write thus far, and I'm so lucky to have BK2U come onboard to help me out with this story. This chapter was utter dribble before she got to it, so a huge thank you.

Enjoy...

Chapter 23

 _(Tobias)_

I watched Tris run out of the training room. I desperately wanted to follow after her, but I decided against it; she needed time to cool off. Instead, I headed over to talk to Zeke.

"Okay, what was that all about?" he asked, concerned.

I let out a deep breath. After taking Tris home last night I couldn't sleep, so I ended up walking to the control room to find Zeke. He mentioned to me that he was worried about Tris. Judging by outward appearances, it looked like she was making amazing progress, but the facts told a different story: she had become distracted and off-track. Her ranking had dropped, and her attention seemed to be focused more on me during training. Zeke said she had stopped going to her support group and had been refusing to travel back to the Bureau to have further surgery on her shoulder. I hadn't realized that my presence in her life might compromise her recovery.

"I told her we needed to slow down a little, not see so much of each other until she was sure she could handle it."

"Bet that went down well." Zeke looked at me and frowned. "You want me to go after her?"

"I don't know, Zeke, I didn't expect her to just snap on Edward like that. She seemed on the verge of really hurting him, or worse."

"Yeah, I don't think she knows how strong she really is, and she definitely lost it with Edward."

"She never has had a good handle on her emotions," I sighed. Sometimes being with Tris is like holding a grenade when you don't know if the pin is still in place. She can blow up at any moment, and usually without warning.

"I tried to warn you, man, she's still fragile, still volatile."

"What am I supposed to do? If I back off, she'll think I'm not serious, and that's not how it is. I'm serious; I'm really fucking serious about her."

"I know, Four, but you were right to give her time to cool down. You can approach it again when she's more willing to actually listen rather than just react. In the meantime, I'll talk to her, see if I can help make her see what's happening. At least then she can't blame everything on you." He wandered off to the center of the room to dismiss the group. "I'll go see if I can find her, you just keep the ice handy."

"Ice?"

"Yeah, that girl has a wicked right hook when she's mad," Zeke said, rubbing his chin.

I smiled a little, proud of Tris's fierceness.

Zeke left me alone in the training room while he searched out Tris. I decided to steer clear of her for a while, so I went to work on a punching bag. I couldn't shake the feeling I had made the wrong decision, that this was just the kind of thing that Tris would use to banish me from her life forever. I wasn't sure she could see the situation clearly enough to realize that I was only trying to help her be healthy, to help us be together. I just hoped Zeke could reason with her.

( _Tris_ )

"Tris! Tris! Open the fucking door!" I could hear Christina banging on my bathroom door, but I didn't care. My hands fumbled though the bathroom drawer until they found the heavy stainless steel box I was seeking. I removed the lid and looked at the dozen pills stored inside. I may have weaned off the strong meds, but I had kept a few hidden away. I picked up two, three, four of them and held them in my palm and closed my fist over them. This would make it all go away, even if only for a few hours, a few days. I squeezed the pills in my hand more tightly, and closed my eyes while Tobias's words ran over and over in my head.

Was I really relying on him too much now that he was back in my life? I recalled where I was the week before he returned to Dauntless. I had been dead inside, just going through the motions, merely pretending to be alive for those around me. Then Tobias came back, and I guess my focus shifted slightly, but it wasn't as bad as he had made it seem, was it? I thought back to this morning, how during training I had definitely concentrated more on what Tobias was doing as opposed to my own regimen. And just last week, I had blown off my group sessions to mull around in the Pit because I knew he'd be there.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and tried to block out Christina's insistent banging on the door. I didn't want to believe Tobias, I wanted to believe that I could be strong because I wanted to be, because that's what my parents would have wanted for me.

At least I was stronger than a handful of pills wasn't I? If I had asked myself that question a few months ago, I would have laughed and taken the pills in one swift motion. But as I looked at myself in the mirror now, I could see my strength and determination; it was there, it shone through my eyes. I replaced the pills I had taken out, and picked up the heavy steel box. I couldn't do this; I would be stronger than this. I hurled the box and pills straight towards the closed window in my bathroom. The box flew out, shattering the glass into a thousand tiny pieces.

"Christina, move!" I could hear Zeke bark on the other side of the door. I backed into the wall and slouched to the ground, trying to avoid the glass, and smiled to myself. I had done it — I was stronger than the pills.

It only took a few more seconds for the door to burst open, the doorjamb where the lock was located splintering, bits of timber landing amongst the glass already on the floor. Zeke and Christina came barrelling in and took in the scene before them, both looking terrified.

"It's okay," I whispered. "I'm okay."

"Tris?"

"I'm okay," I repeated. "I'm okay," I said it again slowly, smiling at myself. Because for the first time, I truly believed I really was okay.

"Fuck! Are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack! Fuck, Tris... just _fuck_!" Zeke slammed his fist against the door and slumped to the floor next to me, trying to avoid the shards of glass.

I took a deep breath and leaned my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Fuck," he repeated again. Christina took a look around the room with a scowl.

"I'll go get a dustpan and broom."

I watched her leave the room, then spoke again.

"I really am sorry, I just…"

Zeke sighed. "I know, I just…" He trailed off, too, unable to finish what he wanted to say. "What's going on with you?"

"I know I should have handled that better. I'm just so frustrated, Zeke. Tobias…" he cut me off before I could finish.

"I know what he said, and it's the truth. You may not want to hear it, Princess, but it _is_ the truth." I gaped at him. Zeke never sugar-coated anything, but the harsh tone in his voice was not something I was used to hearing.

"You think he's right? That he's having a negative effect on me?"

"I think the evidence speaks for itself, Tris. I was hoping that living on your own again would help you regain responsibility over your life, and I thought it had, but your training is getting sloppy, and you don't seem to be taking care of yourself. When was the last time you went to a group session, or even made an active effort to make extra psych appointments? Look, I'm not saying you and Four getting back together is a bad thing, I'm happy you guys are happy, but not at the cost of your wellbeing, Tris. I've put too much into you to just lose you. Come on, it's time to be an adult, live your own life, and stand on your own two feet."

"What do you think I've been doing?"

"Without relying heavily on him, I mean. All this," he pointed to my reflection in the glass, "This all happened when he came home. Don't do it for him, Tris, do it for you, do it for your future."

I nodded at him as a stray tear fell down my cheek. Zeke had seen me cry before, but I still brushed it away quickly and blushed slightly.

Christina returned with the dustpan and broom. "Alright, you two, up and out while I clean this up. And you," she pointed to me, "Infirmary, now."

"What! Why? I told you I'm okay."

"She's right, Tris, you need to see Mike."

"I do not need to see my shrink, I said I'm okay."

Zeke stood in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. "Not up for negotiation, Tris."

I closed my eyes and sighed. Seeing Mike probably couldn't hurt. I reluctantly followed Zeke out of my apartment and down to the infirmary.

 _(Tobias)_

I had been going at the punching bag for a few hours when Uriah and Zeke burst through the training room doors.

"You're still here?" Zeke asked, slightly shocked.

"Man, we've been all over the compound looking for you," Uriah said as he slid up next to me, giving the bag a sideways punch.

"Why? What's wrong? Is Tris okay?" I asked quickly, feeling panic rising within me.

"Whoa, Four, slow down. I found her, she's..." Zeke hesitated. "She's okay." Zeke followed Uriah's movements and stood on the other side of me, punching the bag back in Uriah's direction.

I glared at Zeke. "What do you mean by 'okay'?" I could see Zeke swallow hard, and Uriah stiffen next to the bag.

"She's in the infirmary."

"What!" I yell. "How the fuck is that okay?" I yelled again, turning and all but running towards the exit doors.

"Four, wait!" Zeke yelled, his footsteps gaining on me. "She's fine, she's just seeing her psychologist, that's all."

I turned back towards Zeke. "She's really okay?" I needed confirmation that she was in good shape or I was going to kill anyone blocking my path to her.

"She had a small moment, but she's strong; she wasn't going to let her emotions get the better of her this time. But I tell you, man, you've got your work cut out for you. She has a temper on her the size of Chicago."

I sighed and ran my hands though my hair. I could feel the sweat and grit dripping off me.

"So, I just let her sort things out on her own for a while?" I asked while walking back to grab my towel and water. Zeke followed, while Uriah continued to punch the bag.

"Yeah," he shrugged.

"Great," I replied, frustration creeping into my tone.

"Look Four, I'm really sorry. I don't have any more advice for you, just give her time to process what you said, and eventually she'll see reason. At least I hope she will."

"I need a shower," I said, scooping up my belongings and heading for the door again.

"You don't need to tell me," Zeke said, scrunching up his nose. "I got a shift in the control room anyway." He turned towards Uriah. "Yo, bro, you coming?" Uriah left the punching bag and joined his brother.

"Yeah, yeah. Later, Four."

I left the training room and headed towards my apartment for the shower I desperately needed. I couldn't help but let my mind drift to Tris. Maybe I had gone about this the wrong way, but when she had Edward pinned against that wall, I wasn't sure she was ever going to let him go. The look she had in her eyes I've only seen a few times, and we were in the middle of a war then. I couldn't be the reason she relapsed, or worse. I won't let her destroy herself.

 _(Tris)_

Zeke preceded me into my psychologist's office, presumably to give him a heads up on what had just happened. It didn't take long before Zeke departed and I found myself sitting across from Dr. Hunt, or Mike as he preferred to be called. Mike was rustling through his desk drawer looking for something, when his eyes suddenly snapped up to mine.

"So, Tris, it's been a while, how have you been?"

I twisted my hands together and shrugged. I had been in this office so many times in the past year that I knew every little annoying detail, from the ridiculously old teddy bear sitting on the desk to the tear in the fabric of the chair in which I was now perched. No matter how many times I had been in here, it still felt uncomfortable.

"Care to elaborate on that shrug?" Mike questioned.

"Things have been going better. Well, at least I thought things had been going better."

Mike raised his eyebrows at me, an indication that he wanted me to go on. I could feel an internal struggle: the urge to tell him to go to hell and that I didn't need him threatening to spill out, versus the memory of the pained faces of both Christina and Zeke reminding why I was here.

"I know I've missed a few group sessions."

"Just a few?" he threw at me, again raising his eyebrows.

"Okay, more than a few." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Do you feel you don't need to discuss your feelings anymore? Because you're no longer classified as suicidal, it means your feelings, your fears, your emotions, they aren't important anymore?"

"It's not something I think about, honestly."

"And what about today? What were you thinking about today?"

I knew he was referring to the incident in my bathroom earlier.

"Look, I wasn't trying to hurt myself, I was completely in control of the situation..."

"In control? So hurling objects and breaking a window, not to mention ignoring your friends so they had to break down your door...that sounds to you like you were in control?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Why don't you tell me what led to this situation, then we can discuss this new control you've found." Mike scribbled something on the pages in front of him while he waited for me to respond.

I looked down at my twisted hands and scratched the back of my left hand with my right. I could feel myself starting to shut down, to reject the feelings, the emotions that were bubbling to the surface. This was part of therapy, talking about the things you desperately didn't want to discuss. I knew that, I had been here before, yet it was still so difficult.

"Four said something to me. I guess he's worried, and so is Zeke."

"Do they have a reason to be worried?"

I took a deep breath and pushed away the fear.

"If you had asked me that this morning, I would have laughed. Now I'm not entirely sure; maybe they have a point."

"Care to elaborate?"

I shrugged. I didn't really want to elaborate, but not cooperating with this session only proved Tobias's point more.

"Maybe I've been more focused on other things lately, but that doesn't mean I'm not taking my recovery seriously. Maybe everyone else isn't taking it seriously."

"Is that comment directed at Four? Are you angry at him for putting your recovery and health before your relationship?"

"That's not what I'm saying," I huffed.

"OK, my apologies for misinterpreting your statement. Please explain what you mean to me," he countered, gesturing at me with both his hands.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay, I'm angry."

"Go on."

"I guess he just sort of sprung it on me. We had an amazing date the other night, things were finally looking like they were getting back on track, and then out of the blue, this. It's like he's setting me up for him to leave again."

"Did he say that?"

"No," I snapped.

"So, what makes you think that?"

"Because he did it the first time," I replied, defeated.

"You think he will repeat those mistakes?"

"I'm saying I don't know, I don't know if I should trust him anymore, if I can safely entrust myself to him."

Mike sat back in his chair and tapped his chin.

"I'd like to suggest something. But you will have to keep an open mind, Tris."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Okay, I'm listening."

"How would you feel about a joint session with Four?"

I shook my head, there was no force on earth that could make me want Tobias in the same room as my therapist.

"What are your reasons for refusing?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Did I really have a valid reason as to why I didn't want Tobias in one of my therapy sessions? He knew my history, he knew almost everything there was to know about me. I hesitated, trawling my brain for a valid reason. I didn't have one.

Mike smiled to himself when I didn't respond. "It's okay, Tris," he said gently. "I understand your hesitation, but I honestly believe this will be good for you. Shall I set something up, then?"

I sighed in defeat.

"Until then, do try to take it easy on your windows. Replacement glass isn't so easy to come by these days." He gave me a wink, then signed off on my discharge form and handed it to me before ushering me to his office door.

I took a deep breath and left, wondering how I was going to feel the next time I visited Mike...with Tobias.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Not much to say except, yay another chapter! Thanks to the wonderful BK2U for making the much needed edits to this chapter. Merry Christmas everyone. Stay safe x

Chapter 24

 _(Tobias)_

After showering and shaving the next morning, I still found myself worrying about Tris. I dressed in jeans and a basic black t-shirt, and grabbed my boots before sitting on the end of my bed and lacing them up. I knew that I shouldn't do what I was about to do; I had told Zeke I would give her space, and I had told Tris I would give her space, again. But the gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach was winning out. I dragged my hand down over my face and rubbed my eyes. I felt exhausted, despite having slept. Mentally and physically drained. I contemplated falling back onto my bed and just sleeping it off for a while, but the small thumping on my door lifted me slightly out of my exhaustion and pushed me to respond to it.

"Hi," Tris said as soon as I flung the door open. Her small frame looked even smaller in the dim light of the hallway.

It took a few seconds to get over the shock of seeing her before I could say anything. "Hey, are you okay?"

She nodded slowly, her eyes darting everywhere but to mine. "Can I come in?"

I didn't hesitate, pushing the door open wider and standing to the side. As she walked in past me, I got a whiff of her scent, and my heartbeat picked up.

Tris hovered by the couch while I stayed on the far side of the room closest to the door. We both remained silent for a long time, Tris's eyes constantly darting around my small apartment until they landed on the small frame sitting on the bedside table. I watched her slow movements as she reached to pull the frame into her hand. The photo was a still of some camera footage I had pulled up during her initiation, showing Tris and me standing by the chasm the night she had first gone zip-lining, the night we had won capture the flag. She was looking at me, her eyes bright, full of wonder and excitement, and I remembered how much I had wanted to kiss her at the time.

"If I remember correctly, you were slightly intoxicated that night," she said quietly. I chuckled slightly from my stance across the room.

"It took every ounce of willpower I had to not kiss you that night."

Her eyes were still on the picture, but I saw a small smirk cross her lips. She replaced the frame back to its home beside my bed and finally looked at me.

"I understand."

My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to make sense of her statement. She shook her head and closed her eyes. "I mean, I get what you were trying to say to me earlier. It just took me a bit to really process it, I guess."

I'm relieved, to say the least. When she showed up here tonight, I wasn't sure what she was going to say.

"I just had a session with my therapist, and he...well...he suggested that maybe we could, I don't know...I know you don't really like sharing things with other people, but he suggested that we should." It was obvious she was struggling to say what she wanted.

"Whatever you need, Tris."

Her eyes snapped back to mine. "You'd do that? Couples therapy?" If couple's therapy was what she needed, what she thought we needed, I wasn't going to deny her that.

"Do you think it will help?"

I could see her hesitation, but she nodded, slowly.

"Then I'll do it."

Tris looked at me with disbelief. "Don't look so surprised, Tris. I'd do anything for you. I love you," I stated, but it felt odd given the distance that currently separated us.

Tris closed her eyes again, but a small smile grew on her face. She took a long moment before opening her eyes again.

"I should go," she said quietly, glancing at the door. I was standing directly in her path, and I purposely didn't move so she would have to come closer to me.

Tris walked slowly towards me, towards the door, her eyes glued to the door handle the entire time. Her hand brushed mine as she passed, and it stopped her dead in her tracks. I took the opportunity, however brief and wrong it was, and clasped my hand around hers, making her look back towards me. Her eyes locked on mine, and before I really even thought about it, I dragged her into me and crashed my lips against hers. Tris didn't pull away as I expected, instead she pushed her palms flat against my chest to steady herself as I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her tighter to me. Her lips worked in perfect sync with mine, her body fitting so perfectly against me. She pulled away first, a small sigh escaping her mouth. Her eyes were still closed, and I rested my lips on her forehead while we stood there in silence. Minutes passed, and I found myself dying to know what she was thinking. Tris eventually lifted her hands from my chest, and I reluctantly released my grip on her and removed my arms completely. She didn't say anything as she turned around and walked out the door.

 _(Tris)_

I closed Tobias's door behind me and glanced down each side of the hallway. I knew I needed to find Edward and apologize for what I had done earlier today, but after my encounter with Tobias I needed to level out my emotions before I went anywhere near Edward. I started to head towards the training room; maybe a workout would help clear my head. On my way there, I passed a few corridors I hadn't been down in a while, one of them leading towards Christina's department. On our return, she had gone to work in the re-housing department, helping existing members and current members find adequate housing within the Dauntless compound. I had yet to visit her during the day while she was working. Realizing that only now made me feel like a crappy friend, so I headed towards the department's main entrance. I looked around at the dreary offices, seeing if I could locate which one was Christina's.

I moved further down the hallway, having no idea where I was going, until I heard a high-pitched scream coming from the office down the far end of the hall. I recognized Christina's voice, and ran off towards her scream in a hurry, ready to take on any attacker that might be attempting to mess with my best friend. I busted through the door to find Christina standing on top of her desk with a ruler in one hand, a can of bug spray in the other.

"Chris?"

"Oh my God, Tris, there's… there's… oh my God, it's so disgusting, get it, get it!" she screamed, pointing to the ground next to me beside her office door. It took me a moment to register what she was talking about. On the floor just beside the door sat a small moth no bigger than my thumbnail.

"Really?" I sighed while picking it up gently and strolling over to the nearby window, ushering it outside, and closing the window tightly. I tried to ignore the fact that Christina was still perched on top of her desk, and took a seat in front of her. "So I came to ask if you wanted to go work out for a bit?"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I can't remember the last time we worked out together, like, just you and me," she said as she slowly got down off the desk. I was amazed she didn't trip in the ridiculously high heels she was wearing. "In fact, I can't remember the last time you visited me at work."

I sighed. "That's because I haven't."

Christina just pursed her lips and nodded.

"I haven't been a really good friend lately, have I?"

"You know sugar-coating isn't my thing, Tris."

"Just give it to me straight, then, I can take it," I countered.

Christina settled herself in her chair across from me and threw me a dubious look. "Christina."

"Okay, but no throwing things, I like my window the way it is… closed. Look, I know you've been through a lot, I of all people know that, and with Four being back, and all the crap that's coming with that, you've sort of been, I don't know, too busy to hang lately, just you and me. I feel like you've got all this stuff going on, and it's important and I know that, but so is my stuff, you know."

I let my head hang. "I've been a crappy friend," I summarized.

"No, Tris, you're just busy: work, training, Four. I get it, it's important. I don't know, maybe this is what happens when you get older, friendships just aren't as strong anymore when you've got a significant other." She shrugged. "But I don't want us to be like that."

"Me either," I replied sincerely.

Christina's words suddenly registered in my head. "Wait, significant other? Does this mean you and Uriah are, like, a real couple now? Not just 'hot sex'?"

"I think so, yeah. I mean I'm not sure, sometimes he's all I can think about, then I remember Will and I feel guilty."

"Do you love him?"

"Yeah, I think I do, but I feel guilty for it."

"Chris, you're always going to love Will, he was your first love. I think that holds some kind of space in your heart forever, but that space is small, and there's room for other people in there, you just have to open up to it."

"When did you become an expert in all things love related? You've had one boyfriend your entire life." I rolled my eyes at her. "So, how's that all going?"

"Ah, can we talk about it later? I really need to beat the crap out of something."

Christina snorted, laughing. "So very Dauntless of you, Tris."

Christina and I headed to the locker rooms and changed. The training room was empty, so we had free rein over the room. We started with some cardio and moved on to the bags before facing off in the ring. We weren't trying to hurt each other, so we wore gloves. After a few rounds, the training room doors swung open and Uriah and Tobias walked in.

"Maybe we should call it a day, there's no way I'm going to be able to concentrate if he's in here with his shirt off," Christina said, pointing towards Uriah.

I laughed. "I'm just going to finish up with a run, I'll catch up with you later?"

"Yeah, thanks for the workout." Christina punched me in the shoulder as she exited the ring.

I removed my gloves, left the ring, and headed straight for a treadmill. I tried hard not to pay any attention to what Tobias and Uriah were doing; I was here for myself after all. But my eyes strayed slightly as they did a few warm up laps around the fast track. I sped up the treadmill and really tried to focus on my steps and my breathing. It was working for a bit until I noticed Uriah and Tobias walking towards me. They passed by right in front of me and stopped. Tobias leaned over the front of the treadmill and picked up my empty water bottle and replaced it with a fresh one. I concentrated on my running, but gave him a smile and a nod to let him I know I appreciated the thought. They headed over to the free weights and I refocused back on the screen of the treadmill. I wasn't planning on a massive run, but I didn't want Tobias to think I was leaving because of him. I decided another 10 minutes, then I would take off, shower, and track down Edward to apologize. My eyes drifted over every now and then to Tobias. I was surprised to see him wearing a black fitted tank, pieces of his tattoo visible. As long as I had known Tobias, he had not been one to expose his body. I guess his time away had changed him, too.

I watched him as his muscles flexed under the pressure of the weights he was lifting, and my mind began to conjure up images of what was hidden beneath his shirt. My eyes wandered lower and lower, and suddenly I was having trouble breathing. I stumbled on the treadmill, grabbing the side just before I nearly fell off. I hit the emergency stop button, halting the treadmill immediately, and glanced at Uriah and Tobias. Luckily, it appeared neither had noticed my stumble. I cursed to myself and picked up my water, then headed to the locker room.

Once I was inside, I banged my head against the wall closest to me.

"Get it together!" I groaned to myself. This was the sort of behavior that Tobias and Zeke were worried about. But I couldn't help the way my body reacted to Tobias. Every time he touched me, I could feel it in my soul, whether it was a gentle touch on my hand or a full-blown, earth-shattering kiss.

I tried to not think about how much I wanted Tobias in that moment, and showered and dressed as quickly as possible. I still had to find Edward and apologize. I wasn't sure where to start, so I figured I would use my leadership status to try and track him down. I headed straight for the control room to see if I could locate him using the video feeds.

I pressed my thumb to the plate and the door opened. I knew Tobias was in the training room, so there was no chance of me running into him here; instead, I found Zeke. He was slouched down in his chair, his hands gliding over the keyboard in front of him.

"Knock, knock," I said. Zeke swiveled in his chair to face me.

"Tris!" he said, visibly shocked. "Ah, Four's not here."

"No, I know."

"How did things go with Dr. Mike?"

"Good, actually. Better than I had expected." He smiled his cheesy grin at me. "I came to see if I could borrow your camera snooping skills."

"Ah, you've come to the right man."

"Knew I had." I nodded as Zeke pulled another chair next to him.

"Take a seat," he said. "Okay, Princess, who are we looking for?"

"Edward," I said without hesitation.

Zeke swiveled back towards me. "Tris," he said, worry evident in his voice.

I held up my hands in defense. "I just want to apologize, I promise."

Zeke still furrowed his brow at me, and I sighed in return. "I've already spoken to Four," I added. He raised an eyebrow at me this time.

"How did that go? Better than last time, I hope?"

"There wasn't any yelling."

"Hmmm."

"So, Edward?"

"Right, let me just..." He trailed off, moving his hands deftly over the keyboard; the monitors in front of us continued to flick around the Dauntless compound. It didn't take long for Zeke to locate Edward. He was sitting alone in the club at the bar downstairs.

"There's Blondie," Zeke said, pointing at the screen.

"Thanks, Zeke." I smiled and patted his shoulder.

"Tris?"

"I'm just going to apologize, that's all."

"Okay, just know I'll be watching."

I rolled my eyes as I left the control room and headed straight down the elevator and towards the club.

I found Edward still sitting at the bar alone, a few empty glasses in front of him. I walked up to him cautiously. I wasn't sure how I was going to approach this.

"You took your time," Edward said quietly, downing the last of his drink.

I slid up and took a seat on the empty bar stool next to him.

"You weren't that easy to track down."

"Been here for a while," he replied, and motioned to the bartender for two more drinks. He slid one over to me.

"Shouldn't I be buying _you_ drinks?" Edward shrugged. It was silent for a while; I started my drink while Edward finished his. He ordered another round, but I pushed both glasses back towards him.

"Pansycake," he snorted.

"Look, about earlier..."

"Forget it, Tris."

"No. I want to apologize," I said sternly.

"There's no need. You were defending your boyfriend, I get it."

"He's not my—" Edward cut me off.

"Yes, he is, Tris. Go on, tell me you don't love him, that's he's not the only man you'll ever love, the only one that you'll even let love you."

I couldn't answer him. Instead I picked up one of the shot glasses off the bar and downed the clear liquid. It burned my throat and made me cough a little.

"Amateur," he smirked at me and turned on his stool to face me. "You know there's nothing wrong with that, right, Tris? You deserve to be happy."

I gave him a rueful smile. "And as much as I hate it, he makes you happy. He's the one for you, Tris."

"Yeah, he is."

There was another long pause, and another round of drinks. I again pushed mine towards Edward with a grimace on my face.

"We still friends?"

"You promise not to try and kill me again?" I frowned at him.

He bumped into my shoulder. "Kidding. Of course we're still friends. You still coming down for snow night tomorrow?"

"Oh yeah, I'll be there."

I leaned over the bar and pressed my thumb to the plate attached to the till, effectively settling Edward's tab. It was the least I could do after my lame attempt at apologizing to him.

I headed back upstairs looking for some solitude, but halfway up my wristband pinged with an incoming message. The ER teams had all been given wrist communication devices in case of an emergency. My team wasn't on call, but Tobias's was. There had been a large storm that had gone though Amity, and a few of the fields had been destroyed and needed clearing. At least it wasn't something dangerous.

I got back to my apartment and headed to my bedroom, flopping face first onto my bed. It had been a huge, emotionally draining day. I had almost fallen into a deep sleep when Tobias entered my mind. He and his team would be on their way to Amity by now to help with the post-storm clean up. I couldn't help but be a little worried. I rolled over to my bedside table and picked up my tablet, sending him a quick message.

Me: I'll see you when you get back. Appointment with Dr. Mike, Monday 9am. Be careful. x

I left the tablet on the bed next to me, just in case he replied, and drifted off to sleep.

 _(Tobias)_

It was late and dark by the time we arrived at Amity, so there wasn't much point in getting started with the clean up until morning. First, I arranged for accommodations for my team with Johanna, and reminded them to behave while we were here. Then I met with Johanna and her people to gauge the size of the damage we could expect to see in the morning, and to find out about casualties. There weren't any, which was a relief.

It was almost midnight by the time I dragged myself into my assigned quarters. Being in an Amity dorm room again reminded me of the time I had spent here with Tris, right after we had fled from both Dauntless and the clutches of Jeanine Matthews. The midnight light also reminded me of when Tris had snuck into my room, and where that night would have led had I not put a stop to it.

I blushed slightly at my own thoughts. It wasn't that I hadn't thought about Tris like that before, I had, quite a lot. But lately it had been getting worse, and seeing her dressed up on her birthday in that skin-tight, short dress had made me want to tear it off her and try out a few of the things I had overheard Uriah and Zeke talk about in the past. So far, I had managed to stay as cool as possible around Tris, but my resolve was getting thinner and thinner the more kisses we shared. I desperately wanted to be that intimate with Tris again. Our first time together had been awkward, and I knew she hadn't enjoyed it as much as I had. I couldn't wait to be able to lavish attention on her, to make her feel as good as I had felt that first night we had spent together.

Thinking about Tris and me like that drew me into the shower and into my own fantasy of exactly what I planned on doing to her once the moment presented itself. Letting my imagination run wild under the hot running water of the shower helped me to find a quick release. I've always felt momentary shame after seeking sexual gratification; Abnegation frowned on any intimate activity that didn't have the direct purpose of procreation. That was definitely a step I knew Tris and I were nowhere near being ready for, but the more I thought about having a family with her, the more the idea appealed to me.

I had never been able to see myself as a father — how could I with the role model I had as a child? But everything I had ever thought I wanted for my life changed the day I pulled Tris out of that net. I had realized then that she was what had been missing in my life, that she could show me who I could really be, the potential that was within me to be a compassionate and caring parent. To watch my children grow in this new city we had helped create. The thought made me smile. One day.

I took myself back to my room and climbed into the small bed, and fell into a deep sleep full of dreams about my future with Tris.


End file.
